Posts Tagged ‘i love you’
Is Love A Crime ?
Posted on: September 15, 2014
- In: All | Allah الله | Islam | Marriage | Women In Islam
- 3 Comments
Muslims against Love?
Posted on: February 13, 2013
Muslims against Love?
{Read,before making any plans with your *spouse*}
This article is a brief reply to those Christians, Jews and other Non-Muslims who allege that Muslims are against love and hence don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.
It is a mistake to confuse what they call the day with what the real intentions are behind it. The love referred to on this day is romantic love, taking mistresses and lovers, boyfriends and girlfriends. It is known to be a day of promiscuity and sex for them, with no restraints or restrictions.
They are not talking of pure love between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband, or at least they do not distinguish between the legitimate love in the relationship between husband and wife, and the forbidden love of mistresses and lovers. This festival for them is a means for everyone to express love.
Love in Islam is more general and more comprehensive; it is not restricted only to one kind of love, that between a man and a woman. It is love when we cry for those Muslims being tortured and killed by those evil armies of the west. It is love when we cry looking at the people of Somalia dying out of hunger. It is love when we morally, mentally and financially support those Muslims whose life have been devastated by tyrant rulers like in Syria.
There is no religion which encourages its followers to love and care for one another more than Islam does. This applies at all times and in all circumstances, not just on one particular day. Indeed, Islam encourages us to express our emotions and love at all times , as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a man loves his brother, let him tell him that he loves him.” (narrated by Abu Dawood, 5124; al-Tirmidhi, 2329; it is saheeh).
And he said: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, you will not enter Paradise until you truly believe, and you will not truly believe until you love one another. Shall I not tell you of something that, if you do it, you will love one another? Spread (the greeting of) salaam amongst yourselves.” (Narrated by Muslim, 54)
So Oh you celebrators of ‘Eed al-Hubb (the festival of love), you yourself don’t know the history of this evil custom. Oh you who allege us Muslims of being against love, listen to this:
I am not forced to admit to you on this day that I have known love. However, this does not coerce me to allocate one day for the rest of my entire life to regret the killing of the patron saint of love (Valentine) and commemorate him. I am not obliged to show love to those who are massacring the concept of true love in my country, killing my dreams and corrupting my youth. I am not obliged to behave like an innocent child, to receive a red heart by the right hand while they treacherously stab me from behind with their left hand. I am not required to commemorate Astarte’s (one of so called Greek goddess) rivers of tears for Adonis (one of so called Greek goddess of beauty and desire), while my people’s rivers of blood are shed in our streets. Anemone should grow only on the blood of the Ummah (nation), not on tears of illicit love.
History has been crushed under the feet of those who came to my country. I want to tell them: You will never be dearer to me than Huda and ‘Abeer (two young Muslim girls who fell victims to the enemies’ brutal attacks in Gaza and Iraq). Your yellow smile will never deceive me to forget Imaan and Mohammed Al-Durra (Palestinian children killed by the Zionists). I will not be able to hide my face and share your joy and forget the sorrows of my Ummah.
I am not coerced to live as a yes-man while they compel me to remember those whom I love one day, for I have many loved ones. If they have Valentine, I have someone much greater than him, Muhammad (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) who taught me to dedicate all my life and days for love.
He taught me that when I love someone, I should quickly come to him, not wait until February 14, or any other date, to tell him how I feel. He taught me that a gift (regardless of its value and color) is the messenger of love. Therefore he said: “Exchange gifts and you will love each other.” He taught me a way to be more beautiful than Adonis and superior to Venus. Therefore, he said: “Allaah is beautiful and He loves beauty.“
Muhammad (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) taught me that Allaah The Almighty loves me because I live with love. Therefore, He said: “My love is due for those who love each other for My sake, meet together for My sake and visit each other for My sake.” He promised me that I will be with him if I love him, for love of the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) is more than just words. He said: “One will be resurrected with those whom he loves.“
Muhammad (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) directed me to the verse in which Allaah The Exalted Says (what means): {Close friends, that Day, will be enemies to each other, except for the righteous.} [Quran 43: 67] He told me that the essence of my love in this world is love for Allaah The Almighty and love for His sake. In a Hadeeth (narration), he said: “The one who loves for the sake of Allaah, hates for the sake of Allaah, gives for the sake of Allaah and withholds for the sake of Allaah has perfect faith.“
Muhammad (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) taught me to choose those whom I love in order not to regret my love, Allaah The Exalted Says (what means): {And the Day the wrongdoer will bite on his hands [in regret] he will say, “Oh, I wish I had taken with the Messenger a way. Oh, woe to me! I wish I had not taken that one as a friend. He led me away from the remembrance after it had come to me. And ever is Satan, to man, a deserter.”} [Quran 25: 27-29]
As for those who love each other for the sake of Allaah The Almighty, He will shield them on the Day of Judgment under His shade when there will be no shade but His and include them in His love. On the Day of Judgment, Allaah The Almighty will call them, saying: “Where are those who love each other for My Majesty? Today, I will shield them under My shade, as today there is no shade but Mine.” He will praise them, saying: “Those who love each other for My sake for them [are] pulpits of light, the prophets and the martyrs will look at them with admiration.”
Cursed is this Valentine’s Day whose cherishers from the non-Muslims abuse our Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) with their cartoons and movies. How can I participate in Valentine’s Day on the occasion of which the parliament of the Netherlands said to the whole world, “If Muslims want to live here, they have to rip up half the Quran and throw it away?”
May Allaah The Almighty expose the true face of those who call to such abominations! If some weak-minded Muslims have been deceived by your false, beguiling and distorted media, there are many others who have seen through the facade of illicit love that you promote.
Muslims are to reject it, warn others against it and to fulfill their duty towards it of enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil.
Other Articles On Valentines Day in this blog !
Rulings on Celebrating Valentine Day
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History of Valentine Day :: Valentines Day not for Muslims
{Read,before making any plans with your *spouse*}
A brief discussion of the origins, development and purpose of this holiday, and what the Muslim should do with regard to it.
The Festival of Love was one of the festivals of the pagan Romans, when paganism was the prevalent religion of the Romans more than seventeen centuries ago. In the pagan Roman concept, it was an expression of “spiritual love”.
There were myths associated with this pagan festival of the Romans, which persisted with their Christian heirs. Among the most famous of these myths was the Roman belief that Romulus, the founder of Rome, was suckled one day by a she-wolf, which gave him strength and wisdom.
The Romans used to celebrate this event in mid-February each year with a big festival. One of the rituals of this festival was the sacrifice of a dog and a goat. Two strong and muscular youths would daub the blood of the dog and goat onto their bodies, then they would wash the blood away with milk. After that there would be a great parade, with these two youths at its head, which would go about the streets. The two youths would have pieces of leather with which they would hit everyone who crossed their path. The Roman women would welcome these blows, because they believed that they could prevent or cure infertility.
The connection between Saint Valentine and Valentine’s Day
Saint Valentine is a name which is given to two of the ancient “martyrs” of the Christian Church. It was said that there were two of them, or that there was only one, who died in Rome as the result of the persecution of the Gothic leader Claudius, c. 296 CE. In 350 CE, a church was built in Rome on the site of the place where he died, to perpetuate his memory.
When the Romans embraced Christianity, they continued to celebrate the Feast of Love mentioned above, but they changed it from the pagan concept of “spiritual love” to another concept known as the “martyrs of love”, represented by Saint Valentine who had advocated love and peace, for which cause he was martyred, according to their claims. It was also called the Feast of Lovers, and Saint Valentine was considered to be the patron saint of lovers.
One of their false beliefs connected with this festival was that the names of girls who had reached marriageable age would be written on small rolls of paper and placed in a dish on a table. Then the young men who wanted to get married would be called, and each of them would pick a piece of paper. He would put himself at the service of the girl whose name he had drawn for one year, so that they could find out about one another. Then they would get married, or they would repeat the same process again on the day of the festival in the following year.
The Christian clergy reacted against this tradition, which they considered to have a corrupting influence on the morals of young men and women. It was abolished in Italy, where it had been well-known, then it was revived in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, when in some western countries there appeared shops which sold small books called “Valentine’s books”, which contained love poems, from which the one who wanted to send a greeting to his sweetheart could choose. They also contained suggestions for writing love letters.
It was also said concerning the origins of this holiday that when the Romans became Christian, after Christianity had become widespread, the Roman emperor Claudius II decreed in the third century CE that soldiers should not get married, because marriage would distract them from the wars they used to fight. This decree was opposed by Saint Valentine, who started to perform marriages for the soldiers in secret. When the emperor found out about that, he threw him in jail and sentenced him to execution. In prison, he (Saint Valentine) fell in love with the jailer’s daughter, but this was a secret because according to Christian laws, priests and monks were forbidden to marry or fall in love. But he is still regarded highly by the Christians because of his steadfastness in adhering to Christianity when the emperor offered to pardon him if he forsook Christianity and worshipped the Roman gods; then he would be one of his closest confidantes and he would make him his son-in-law. But Valentine refused this offer and preferred Christianity, so he was executed on 14 February 270 CE, on the eve of February 15, the festival of Lupercalis. So this day was named for this saint.
In The Story of Civilization, it says that the Church devised a calendar in which every day was designated as the feast day of one of the saints. In England, Saint Valentine’s Day was to come at the end of winter. When that day came, according to them, the birds mated enthusiastically in the forests, and the young men would put flowers on the windowsills of the homes of the girls whom they loved. (The Story of Civilization by Will Durant, 15/23)
The Pope designated the day of the death of Saint Valentine, February 14, 270 CE, as a festival of love. Who is the Pope? He is the “the archbishop, the supreme pontiff of the universal church, the successor of Saint Peter.”
Look at this “archbishop” and how he prescribed for them the observance of this festival which was an innovation in their religion. This reminds us of what Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“They (Jews and Christians) took their rabbis and their monks to be their lords besides Allaah (by obeying them in things which they made lawful or unlawful according to their own desires without being ordered by Allaah)…”[al-Tawbah 9:31]
It was narrated that ‘Adiy ibn Haatim said: “I came to the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wearing a gold cross around my neck. He said, ‘O ‘Adiy, cast aside this idol.’ And I heard him reciting from Soorat Baraa’ah [al-Tawbah] (interpretation of the meaning): ‘They (Jews and Christians) took their rabbis and their monks to be their lords besides Allaah.’ He said: ‘They do not worship them, but when they permit them something they accept it as permitted, and when they forbid them something they accept it as forbidden.’” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi and it is a hasan hadeeth).
Important symbols of Valentine’s Day:
1 – Expressing joy and happiness on this occasion, as on their other major festivals.
2 – Exchanging red roses, which are an expression of love, the “spiritual love” of the pagans or the “love” of the Christians. Hence it is known to them as the Feast of Lovers.
3 – The sending of greetings cards. On some of these cards are pictures of “Cupid”, who appears as a child with two wings, carrying a bow and arrows. This was the god of love of the pagan Romans – exalted be Allaah far above their fabrications and their association of others with Him.
4 – Exchange of words of love and desire in the greetings cards which they send to one another, in verse, prose and short phrases. Some of the cards contain comical pictures and funny words, and they often contain the phrase “be my Valentine”. This represents the Christian concept of this festival after it was taken from the pagan concept.
5 – In many western countries, parties are held during the day and in the evening, where there is mixing of men and women, and dancing. Many of them send gifts such as roses and boxes of chocolates to their wives, friends and those whom they love.
What do You Understand from Valentine’s Day?
Anyone who looks at what is said above about the myths surrounding this pagan festival will clearly understand the following:
Firstly:
That its origins lie in the pagan beliefs of the Romans, where it was an expression of the spiritual love of the idols which they used to worship instead of Allaah. Whoever celebrates it is celebrating an occasion of shirk on which the idols are venerated. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Verily, whosoever sets up partners (in worship) with Allaah, then Allaah has forbidden Paradise to him, and the Fire will be his abode. And for the Zaalimoon (polytheists and wrongdoers) there are no helpers” [al-Maa’idah 5:72]
Secondly:
That the development of this festival among the Romans was connected to myths and legends which no sound mind can accept, let alone the mind of the Muslim who believes in Allaah and His Messengers (peace be upon them). Can anyone of sound mind believe that a she-wolf suckled the founder of the city of Rome and gave him strength and wisdom. Moreover, these myths go against the belief (‘aqeedah) of the Muslim because the One Who bestows strength and wisdom is the Creator, may He be glorified and exalted, not the milk of a she-wolf! The same applies to the myth that their idols could protect them from evil or keep wolves away from their flocks.
Thirdly:
Among the ugly rituals of the Romans on this day was the sacrifice of a dog and a goat, the daubing of their blood onto two youths then washing the blood off with milk, etc… This is something that would cause revulsion in anyone of a sound nature, and it is unacceptable to the sound mind.
Fourthly:
The connection between Saint Valentine and this festival has been questioned by many sources, and it considered to be far from definite. It would have been better for the Christians to reject this pagan festival in which they imitated the pagans. So how about Muslims, who are commanded to be different from the Christians and the pagans before them?
Fifthly:
This festival was denounced by the Christian clergy in Italy, the bastion of Catholicism, because it was spreading bad attitudes and having an adverse effect on the minds of young men and women. So it is better for the Muslims to reject it, warn others against it and to fulfil their duty towards it of enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil.
Free Valentine’s Day Presents/Gifts for him and her:
What can be more good for a believer (both him and her) than the gift of coming to know, the reality of the evils of this Eid of the ignorants, and start abstaining from it?
If you know any of your Muslim friends who have girlfriends and boyfriends, then share this gift of knowledge with them.
This is a gift which is really cheap (cost wise) but is priceless (benefit wise).
Instead of sending e-cards and roses and all sorts of stuffs, send them this article which will be of benefit for him/her in improving his state as a believer both in this world and hereafter, Insha’Allaah (God Willing).
Muslims are to reject it, warn others against it and to fulfill their duty towards it of enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil.
Other Articles On Valentines Day in this blog !
Rulings on Celebrating Valentine Day
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Falling in Love: Allowed in Islam?
Posted on: May 25, 2011
Falling in Love: Allowed in Islam?
Question :What does Islam say about falling in love? Is that allowed in Islam? If it is yes, how could we show that to the person we love without causing fitnah?
Answer: Islam teaches us to be truthful and realistic. Usually, we love for the sake of Allah and we hate for the sake of Allah. Islam teaches us that a male and female can build up a good relationship founded on marriage.
We do not say love is halal or haram because it is a feeling. Maybe it is not under control. You can judge what is under control. But people who fall in love are in many episodes away from the cleansed and pure atmosphere.
Marriages that are usually good and lasting marriages are those that start at the least affection. That affection grows after marriage and maybe it will grow until the couples continue their companionship at the Jannah.
If you have any affection towards a person, you should ask yourself: why do you like that person? If you have good Islamic, reasonable justification, then you need not tell that person of what you feel. However, you can make a serious plan to make him ask for your hand. If you want to know the meaning of fitna, a great part of it is what people nowadays call love or romance.
In this context, we’d like to cite the following fatwa that clarifies the Islamic ruling on falling in love:
“If we are speaking about the emotion which we call “love” then we are simply speaking of a feeling. What we feel toward a particular person is not of great importance, until our feeling is expressed in a particular action. Now if that action is permissible, then well and good. If it is forbidden, then we have incurred something that Allah does not approve of. If it is love between a man and a woman, the emotion itself is not the subject of questioning on the Day of Judgment. If you feel you love someone, then you cannot control your feeling. If that love prompts you to try to see that person in secret and to give expression to your feelings in actions permissible only within the bond of marriage then what you are doing is forbidden.”
Shedding more light on the issue in point we’d like to cite the words of Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He states:
In Islam, it is not a sin if you feel a special affinity or inclination towards a certain individual since human beings have no control on such natural inclinations. We are, however, definitely responsible and accountable if we get carried away by such feelings and take specific actions or steps that might be deemed as haram (forbidden).
As far as male and female interaction is concerned, Islam dictates strict rules: It forbids all forms of ‘dating’ and isolating oneself with a member of the opposite sex, as well indiscriminate mingling and mixing.
If, however, one does none of the above, and all that he or she wants is to seriously consider marrying someone, such a thing itself is not considered haram. In fact, Islam encourages us to marry persons for whom we have special feelings and affinity. Thus, Islam recommends that potential marriage partners see one another before proposing marriage. Explaining the reason for such a recommendation, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “That would enhance/foster the bonding.”
This permission notwithstanding, we are advised against getting carried away by merely the outward appearances of a person; these may be quite misleading. Marriage is a life-long partnership and a person’s real worth is determined not by his or her physical looks, but more so by the inner person or character. Hence, after having mentioned that people ordinarily look for beauty, wealth and family in a marriage partner, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) advised us to consider primarily “the religious or character factor” over and above all other considerations.
Islam does not allow any illicit relationship between a man and a woman. Allaah has established marriage as the legitimate means for satisfying sexual desire, and through marriage a man and woman form a family based on the laws of Allaah, and their children are legitimate. In Islam, there is no such thing as a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. You are either married or you are not. To have a boyfriend or girlfriend, no matter the level of interaction and involvement, is completely haraam!
Contact between the sexes is one of the doors that lead to fitnah (temptation). Sharee’ah is filled with evidence which indicates that it is essential to beware of falling into the traps of the shaytaan in this matter. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw a young man merely looking at a young woman, he turned his head so as to make him look away, then he said:
“I saw a young man and a young woman, and I did not trust the shaytaan not to tempt them.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (885) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
This does not mean that it is haraam for a man or woman to like a specific person whom he or she chooses to be a spouse, and feel love for that person and want to marry them if possible. Love has to do with the heart, and it may appear in a person’s heart for reasons known or unknown. But if it is because of mixing or looking or haraam conversations, then it is also haraam. If it is because of previous acquaintance, being related or because of hearing about that person, and one cannot ward it off, then there is nothing wrong with that love, so long as one adheres to the sacred limits set by Allaah.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
A person may hear that a woman is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable, so he may want to marry her. Or a woman may hear that a man is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable and religiously committed, so she may want to marry him. But contact between the two who admire one another in ways that are not Islamically acceptable is the problem, which leads to disastrous consequences. In this case it is not permissible for the man to get in touch with the woman or for the woman to get in touch with the man, and say that he wants to marry her. Rather he should tell her wali (guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Uthmaan (may Allaah be pleased with them both). But if the woman contacts the man directly or if the man contacts woman directly, this is may leads to fitnah (temptation).
Liqaa’aat al-Baab il-Maftooh
The permissible ways to get the one whom you loves are sufficient i.e
contact the wali or the gaurdian of the person whom you desire to marry, there is no need for haraam means, but we make it hard for ourselves and the shaytaan takes advantage of that.
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- In: All | Allah الله | Hadith/Sunnah | Islam | Special Islamic Reminders
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Telling Muslim Brothers and Friends that you Love
Them
Saying that you love your brothers and friends is part of the etiquette of keeping righteous company, and is a noble and good characteristic.
Telling people that you love them increases the bonds of love and strengthens the ties among Muslims.
It was narrated from Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) that a man was with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when another man passed by and he said:
O Messenger of Allaah, I love this man. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to him: “Have you told him?” He said: No. He said: “Tell him.” So he caught up with him and said: I love you for the sake of Allaah. He said: May the one for Whose sake you love me also love you. Narrated by Abu Dawood (no. 5125) and classed as saheeh by al-Nawawi in Riyadh al-Saaliheen (183) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. In some reports of the hadeeth it says: “Tell him for it will strengthen the love between you.” Narrated by Ibn Abi’l-Dunya in al-Ikhwaan (69).
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
That is because this word will instil love in his heart, because if a person knows that you love him, he will love you, even though hearts may recognize and love one another without actually speaking, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.” But if a person says it with his tongue, this will increase the love in the heart, so you should say: “I love you for the sake of Allaah.” End quote.
Sharh Riyadh al-Saaliheen.
It was narrated that al-Miqdaam ibn Ma’di Yakrib (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“If one of you loves his brother, let him tell him.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2392) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (417).
It was narrated from ‘Ali ibn al-Husayn ibn ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If one of you loves his brother for the sake of Allaah, let him tell him, for it does good and makes the love last.”
Shaykh al-Albaani said in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (1199):
It was narrated by Wakee’ in al-Zuhd (2/67/2) with a saheeh isnaad from ‘Ali ibn al-Husayn in a marfoo’ report.
I (al-Albaani) say: ‘Ali ibn al-Husayn is the grandson of ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib; he is thiqah jaleel (honest and great man) one of the men of the two Shaykhs (al-Bukhaari and Muslim). So it is mursal with a saheeh isnaad.
There is corroborating evidence in the hadeeth of Mujaahid which is also mursal; this was narrated by Ibn Abi’l-Dunya in Kitaab al-Ikhwaan and in al-Fath al-Kabeer (1/67). There is another corroborating report from Yazeed ibn Na’aamah al-Dubbi, which I narrated in the other book (1726). When all the isnaads are taken into account, the hadeeth is hasan, in sha Allaah. End quote.
What is meant here is that it is mustahabb; it is not obligatory.
Al-Manaawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
“Let him tell him that he loves him for the sake of Allaah” means, it is mustahabb for him to tell him, by saying I love you for the sake of Allaah, i.e., not for any other reason such as kindness and so on, because it ensures that the bond will last longer and makes love stronger, and it increases and multiplies love, and brings people together, thus the Muslims will be united, and troubles and grudges will be dispelled. This is one of the good features of Islam. End quote.
Fayd al-Qadeer (1/319).
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What Islaam Says About Dating
Posted on: February 14, 2011
What Islaam Says About Dating
The most common questions I get from young people are, “Do Muslims date?” and, “If they don’t date, how do they decide whose the right person for them to marry?”
“Dating” as it is currently practiced in much of the world does not exist among Muslims – where a young man and woman (or boy/girl) are in a one-on-one intimate relationship, spending time together alone, “getting to know each other” in a very deep way before deciding whether that’s the person they want to marry. Rather, in Islam pre-marital relationships of any kind between members of the opposite sex are forbidden.
1. Allah subhana wa’tala says:
Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and protect their private parts….And tell the believing women to lower their gaze, and protect their private parts…” Surah al-Noor :30-31)
But Dating encourages people to deliberately look and stare and seek out the ‘one’ that you find attractive.
2. Allaah orders the Muslim women not to talk unnecessarily or in a soft manner to strange men.
“….then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire” (Surah al-Ahzaab :32)
Even for the Sahaabah, Allaah ordered them to screen themselves from the wives of the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) when they need to ask them something. Who could be purer than the wives of the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) and who could be higher in taqwa than the Sahaabah?
“And when you ask (the Prophet’s wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts. (Surah al-Ahzaab: 53)
Yet, in Dating, you see young men and women who are absolutely not mahram for one another in any way whatsoever, going way beyond this prohibition. Not only are they talking to each other in a soft and flirtatious way, but they are right out expressing their ‘love’ (in reality, lust) for each other.
3. The Sunnah prohibits a man and a woman from being alone together at any time.
The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) said:
“Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him not be alone with a woman who has no mahram present, for the third one present will be the Shaytaan.” (Ahmad — saheeh by al-Albaani)
But those who celebrate Valentine’s Day purposely seek to be alone with each other and go out on dates with each other while Allaah says:
“And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allaah Forgives him)” (al-Isra’ :32)
4. Islaam prohibits a man to even touch a non-mahram woman.
The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) said:
“If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle, that would be better for him than his touching a woman who is not permissible for him.” (al-Tabaraani –saheeh by al-Albaani)
But Dating promotes more than just touching. It promotes hugging, kissing, cuddling and much more. May Allaah protect us.
5. Islaam teaches us that real love between a man and a woman, that is acceptable and allowed by Allaah is only that between a husband and his wife.
“And of His signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you might reside with them, and has put love and mercy between you. Surely, there are signs in this for those who think. (al-Room: 21)
But DATES endorses haraam relationships between a non-mahram man and woman and encourages illicit love and un-Islaamic affiliations.
6. Islaam tells us that Hayaa’ (modesty) and bashfulness are a jewel to be treasured.
It is a purity and innocence that is a virtue, regardless for a man or a woman. The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) said:
“Hayaa’ (modesty) is a branch of faith.” (Bukhaari)
On the other hand, THESE dates and hanging out with opposite gender advocates nothing but shamelessness and immodesty.
The choice of a marriage partner is one of the most important decisions a person will make in his or her lifetime. It should not be taken lightly, nor left to chance or hormones. It should be taken as seriously as any other major decision in life – with prayer, careful investigation, and family involvement.
The following steps should be adopted:
- Make du’a (supplication) to Allah; ask Him to help you find the right person.
- The family should enquire, discusse, and suggest candidates. They should consult with each other, so as to narrow down potential prospects. Usually the father or mother should approache the other family to suggest a meeting.
- Couple should meet in chaperoned, group environment. ‘Umar related that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “Not one of you should meet a woman alone unless she is accompanied by a relative (mahram).” (Bukhari/Muslim). The Prophet (peace be upon him) also reportedly said, “Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan (Shaytan) is the third among them.” (Tirmidhi).
- When young people are getting to know each other, being alone together is a temptation toward wrongdoing. At all times, Muslims should follow the commands of the Qur’an (24:30-31) to, {lower their gaze and guard their modesty….} Islaam recognizes that we are human and are given to human weakness, that is why this rule provides safety-measures for our own sake.
- Family should investigate candidate further – speaking with friends, family, Islamic leaders, co-workers, etc. to learn more about his or her character before making the final decision.
- Couple should both pray Salaat-al-istikhaarah (The Prayer For Guidance, and thus seek Allah’s help in making the decision.
- An agreement should be made to either pursue marriage or part ways. Islaam has given this freedom of choice to both young men and women – they cannot be forced into a marriage that they don’t want.
This type of focused courtship helps ensure the strength of the marriage, by drawing upon family elders’ wisdom and guidance in this important life decision. Family involvement in the choice of a marriage partner helps assure that the choice is based not on romantic notions, but rather on a careful, objective evaluation of the compatibility of the couple.
That is why these marriages often prove successful.
And Allah knows best.!
Compiled and written by PrnXess *IM*
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