ISLAM—World's Greatest Religion!

What Islaam Says About Dating

Posted on: February 14, 2011


In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

What Islaam Says About Dating


The most common questions I get from young people are, “Do Muslims date?” and, “If they don’t date, how do they decide whose the right person for them to marry?”

“Dating” as it is currently practiced in much of the world does not exist among Muslims – where a young man and woman (or boy/girl) are in a one-on-one intimate relationship, spending time together alone, “getting to know each other” in a very deep way before deciding whether that’s the person they want to marry. Rather, in Islam pre-marital relationships of any kind between members of the opposite sex are forbidden.

1. Allah subhana wa’tala says:

Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and protect their private parts….And tell the believing women to lower their gaze, and protect their private parts…” Surah al-Noor :30-31)

But Dating encourages people to deliberately look and stare and seek out the ‘one’ that you find attractive.

2. Allaah orders the Muslim women not to talk unnecessarily or in a soft manner to strange men.

“….then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire” (Surah al-Ahzaab :32)

Even for the Sahaabah, Allaah ordered them to screen themselves from the wives of the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) when they need to ask them something. Who could be purer than the wives of the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) and who could be higher in taqwa than the Sahaabah?

“And when you ask (the Prophet’s wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts. (Surah al-Ahzaab: 53)

Yet, in Dating, you see young men and women who are absolutely not mahram for one another in any way whatsoever, going way beyond this prohibition. Not only are they talking to each other in a soft and flirtatious way, but they are right out expressing their ‘love’ (in reality, lust) for each other.

3. The Sunnah prohibits a man and a woman from being alone together at any time.

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) said:

“Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him not be alone with a woman who has no mahram present, for the third one present will be the Shaytaan.” (Ahmad — saheeh by al-Albaani)

But those who celebrate Valentine’s Day purposely seek to be alone with each other and go out on dates with each other while Allaah says:

“And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allaah Forgives him)” (al-Isra’ :32)

4. Islaam prohibits a man to even touch a non-mahram woman.

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) said:

“If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle, that would be better for him than his touching a woman who is not permissible for him.” (al-Tabaraani –saheeh by al-Albaani)

But Dating promotes more than just touching. It promotes hugging, kissing, cuddling and much more. May Allaah protect us.

5. Islaam teaches us that real love between a man and a woman, that is acceptable and allowed by Allaah is only that between a husband and his wife.

“And of His signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you might reside with them, and has put love and mercy between you. Surely, there are signs in this for those who think. (al-Room: 21)

But DATES  endorses haraam relationships between a non-mahram man and woman and encourages illicit love and un-Islaamic affiliations.

6. Islaam tells us that Hayaa’ (modesty) and bashfulness are a jewel to be treasured.

It is a purity and innocence that is a virtue, regardless for a man or a woman. The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) said:

“Hayaa’ (modesty) is a branch of faith.” (Bukhaari)

On the other hand, THESE dates and hanging out with opposite gender advocates nothing but shamelessness and immodesty.

The choice of a marriage partner is one of the most important decisions a person will make in his or her lifetime. It should not be taken lightly, nor left to chance or hormones. It should be taken as seriously as any other major decision in life – with prayer, careful investigation, and family involvement.

The following steps should be adopted:

  • Make du’a (supplication) to Allah; ask Him to help you find the right person.
  • The family should enquire, discusse, and suggest candidates. They should consult with each other, so as to narrow down potential prospects. Usually the father or mother should approache the other family to suggest a meeting.
  • Couple should meet in chaperoned, group environment. ‘Umar related that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “Not one of you should meet a woman alone unless she is accompanied by a relative (mahram).” (Bukhari/Muslim). The Prophet (peace be upon him) also reportedly said, “Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan (Shaytan) is the third among them.” (Tirmidhi).
  • When young people are getting to know each other, being alone together is a temptation toward wrongdoing. At all times, Muslims should follow the commands of the Qur’an (24:30-31) to, {lower their gaze and guard their modesty….} Islaam recognizes that we are human and are given to human weakness, that is why this rule provides safety-measures for our own sake.
  • Family should investigate candidate further – speaking with friends, family, Islamic leaders, co-workers, etc. to learn more about his or her character before making the final decision.
  • Couple should both pray Salaat-al-istikhaarah (The Prayer For Guidance, and thus seek Allah’s help in making the decision.
  • An agreement should be made to either pursue marriage or part ways. Islaam has given this freedom of choice to both young men and women – they cannot be forced into a marriage that they don’t want.

This type of focused courtship helps ensure the strength of the marriage, by drawing upon family elders’ wisdom and guidance in this important life decision. Family involvement in the choice of a marriage partner helps assure that the choice is based not on romantic notions, but rather on a careful, objective evaluation of the compatibility of the couple.

That is why these marriages often prove successful.

And Allah knows best.!

Compiled and written by PrnXess *IM*

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29 Responses to "What Islaam Says About Dating"

[…] Old Published Articles related to Valentines Day Celebrating Valentines Day? Valentines Day not for Muslims Say No To VALENTINE DAY ! Ruling on celebrating Valentine’s Day Muslims against Love? What Islaam Says About Dating […]

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Allhumdulillah, beautifully said. Eye opener for me!

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Dear All,

it doesnt matter what religion anyone is. God loves us all and we should love each other.

Lets call a spade a spade… dating encourages premarital sex and this is against Christianity and Islam. Premarital sex brings a lot of problems, lets not even go there.

Sex is sacred and should be kept for marriage.

Ladies, the more partners you have, the more valueless you become and at the end you will have nothing to offer to your husband. so keep yourselves chaste and concentrate on developing your skills and ambitions.

God Bless.

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jazak ALLAH khair for your good answer ,we are muslim ,we believe in all prophets from ADAM to MOHAMAD peace be upon him and JESUS is a prophet of ALLAH peace be upon him and all muslims belive believe in him and in the true BIBLE ,THE BOOK OF Allah.
MAYallah bless you.

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“‘Dating’ as it is currently practiced in much of the world does not exist among Muslims – where a young man and woman (or boy/girl) are in a one-on-one intimate relationship, spending time together alone, ‘getting to know each other’ in a very deep way before deciding whether that’s the person they want to marry.”

I’m sorry, but this is simply not true. It may be haram, but we cannot say that it doesn’t happen, which is what this quote seems to claim. The fact is, there ARE Muslims who date, and we need to acknowledge that, just like the fact that there are gay Muslims.

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i agree strongly with islam’s concep about dating
DATING ,,NO,,,,,,

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i have been breaking this rules with impunity but this post will change a lot in my life we do some thngs thinking that its a trivial matter but bros and sister lets make sure the laws of Allah are observed deligently

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I think the first thing one has to establish regarding the authenticity of any religion is to confirm the authenticity of its Holy Book which God sends to His messenger. It is here that Christianity has problems. For example, in the first 5 books of the bible -Genesis, Exodus, Leveticus, Numbers and Deutronomy- there are more than 700 statements which prove that God is NOT the Author of these books, but that Moses himself had no hand in them .Open these books at random and you will see:
> “and the Lord said unto him,Away,get thee down….”
> “And Moses said unto the Lord,the people cannot come…”
> “And the Lord said unto Moses,Go on before the people…”
> “And the Lord spake unto Moses,saying….”
> “And the Lord said unto Moses,Get down ,charge the…”
It is manifest and apparent that these are NEITHER the Words of God NOR of Moses .They indicate that voice of a third person writing from hearsay.
>”So … Mosed DIED…And He (God Almighty) BURIED HIM(Moses)…he was 120 yearsl old when he died…..”(Deutronomy:34:59) .This Holy Book of the Christians make it appear as if Moses who received the words of God contributing to his own obituary before his demise!! Can this be possible?

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Ever heard of scribes. they had them as well back in the day. I also suggest that you look at your own religion’s shortcomings prior to criticising Christianity.

May God’s only son who died for us in Calvary have mercy upon your soul.
Stay blessed

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Why God can;t have mercy ?

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great article masha’Allah. People unfortunately know that dating is haraam, it’s just that they choose to ignore it but nevertheless I thought this article was brilliant.

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Thanks for sharing…

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Salam! Even though what nabil said was quite funny, I like the way he talked. Most christans talk without manners and lack of respect. If this should be the way we confront other religions, then definitely there will be less trouble between religious believes.

Thank you King Slave of ALLAH. I have been thinking of this matter and couldn’t find the answer, but now I am highly convinced and insha ALLAH will do the right and best thing.

Please if I may ask you, can you tell me your real names King Slave of ALLAH and where are you from. Thank you and ALLAH bless you continuously. Amiin!

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CONCERNING DATING ADAM AND EVE THEY DIDN’T KNOW WHAT MARRIAGE IS AND WICH THEY NEEDED WITNESSES. IT’S BETTER TO BE IN RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE PERSON AND GET TO KNOW YOU THAN MARRIENG TOO MANY WIVES JUST FOR FUN AND SATISFATION.

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I was a muslim and now I have found the truth in christ. JESUS DIED AND ROSE FROM THE DEAD, WHILE PROFIT MUHAMMAD DIED AND STAYED DEAD. JESUS NEVER FOUGHT WHILE THE PROFIT MUHAMMAD FOUGHT MANY TIMES. WHEN JESUS HEARD FROM GOD HE WENT TO THE DESERT TO BE TEMPTED. WHILE THE PROFIT MUHAMMAD HEARD FROM GOD SUPPOSIDLY THROUGH AN ANGEL HE COWERED, WAS UNCERTAIN AND WANTED TO COMMIT SUISIDE. AS WELL AS A MAN JESUS CLAIMED TO BE THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE WHILE THE PROFIT MUHAMMAD CLAIMED TO BE A MAN. FROM GOD THE FATHER RECEIVED INSTRUCTIONS WHILE THE PROFIT MUHAMMAD RECEIVED HIS INSTRUCTIONS FROM AN ANGEL, JESUS NEVER KILLED ANY ONE JESUS HAD THE POWER TO TAKE LIFE BUT NEVER DID. HE RESTORED IT , PROFIT MUHAMMAD KILLED MANY IN THE NAME OF GOD. JESUS NEVER MARRIED, WHILE THE PROFIT MUHAMMAD MARRIED MORE THAN 20 WIVES. DO YOU WANT ME TO CONTINUE AND CONTINUE IT’S BETTER NOT. GOD BLESS.

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peace be upon you ,

Well,what you are saying,if its really truth then yes,i want you to continue.can you ?

Now , coming to points you stated here :

// was a muslim and now I have found the truth in christ. JESUS DIED AND ROSE FROM THE DEAD, WHILE PROFIT MUHAMMAD DIED AND STAYED DEAD. //

Jesus died ? He was raised up….and will come back to show you truth.

//JESUS NEVER FOUGHT WHILE THE PROFIT MUHAMMAD FOUGHT MANY TIMES. //

then why dont you follow him completely ?

If someone is killing ur parents,u will not go to save him,becoz jesus never fight.

If someone is raping and killing ur sister,daughter,still you will not fight and will allow him to do wat ever he wish.becoz to save them,you have to fight,and you can’t becoz jesus never fought.

If someone is throwing u out of ur home,still u will not fight,as jesus never fought.

🙂

Great,let a revert brother view view on this issue.

When he was asked

What is the thing that influenced you the most about Prophet Muhammad?

Probably, that he was the best person in every situation. To me this is very inspirational. A lot of times the religious role models we have in America are always a certain way – for example Jesus is always kind and forgiving. But sometimes you can’t be forgiving. You shouldn’t be; sometimes you have to soft and sweet and sometimes you have to be direct and harsh; sometimes you have to be patient and at other times you have to act quickly. There isn’t always one rule that you can apply to your life that will tell you how to act. You have to be able to read the situation and act in the best way. The Prophet knew how to do that; that is inspirational. I think that is the most important thing.

Ur point is refuted.lets see another points….

// WHEN JESUS HEARD FROM GOD HE WENT TO THE DESERT TO BE TEMPTED. WHILE THE PROFIT MUHAMMAD HEARD FROM GOD SUPPOSIDLY THROUGH AN ANGEL HE COWERED, WAS UNCERTAIN AND WANTED TO COMMIT SUISIDE. //

God(jesus) heard from god,and God was tempted by Satan for 40 days….

Satan never tempted Muhammad s.a.w.

//AS WELL AS A MAN JESUS CLAIMED TO BE THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE WHILE THE PROFIT MUHAMMAD CLAIMED TO BE A MAN. //

Ofcource jesus is the way,who ever will follow messengers of Allah will go to heaven.

If jesus was,what you are saying,then why dont you follow him completely.

We are humans,God want to make ideal from us,so that we can follow him,muslims try hard to do…but can you follow jesus,?

Do you fast like jesus ?
Do you pray like jesus?
Do you worship one God?
Do you live like jesus?

FROM GOD THE FATHER RECEIVED INSTRUCTIONS WHILE THE PROFIT MUHAMMAD RECEIVED HIS INSTRUCTIONS FROM AN ANGEL//

God wish,what ever method was used,it was completely God wish.

Yes,jesus raised one from dead,but whom he thanked after this.?

You say Muhammad was man,thn jesus was too human,becoz he said,i dont do anything on my own,i do what is given to me from God.
Same is with muhammad s.a.w.

//JESUS NEVER MARRIED, WHILE THE PROFIT MUHAMMAD MARRIED MORE THAN 20 WIVES.//

So marraige was bad in the eyes of jesus ? Hmmm now i understand why people in West live together without marraige.

How many wifes and cucubines other prophets have in bible….

Solomon : 700 wifes,300 cucubines…

Still he is acceptable to u ? Lol

DO YOU WANT ME TOO CONTINUE ????

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Alhamdulillah, Good reply Brother KING-slave of ALLAH.
May God Almighty help people like Nabil to realize the truth & abandon falsehood.
Good effort from yourside brother. May Allah SWT immensely bless you & your family for this

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u ‘ve put a gr8 answer.good
n now it s nabil turn to ans

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excuse me….im a canadian christian we westerns sometimes like to live together with out marriage cas us WESTERNS ARE FREE TO DO SOOOO…..YOU MIDDLE EAST PEOPLE ARE SOOOOOO BACKWARDS ITS DISGUSTING GOOOO BACK TO YOUR MUSLIM BACKWARD CAVES

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// excuse me….im a canadian christian we westerns sometimes like to live together with out marriage cas us WESTERNS ARE FREE TO DO SOOOO….//

Where You are Free,Give Me Proof…. You itself involve in ILLIGAL RELATION and According to BIBLE LAW,You must be stoned to DEATH.

and I know from where you got inspiration….

https://islamgreatreligion.wordpress.com/2011/02/05/29-sexually-explicitdirty-stories-and-verses-in-the-bible/

Im sure You will enjoy ur hell…!

Jesus too lived in Caves ! We follow our messenger and we would love to stay there….as we are not animals like you!

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good ans by King Slave of ALLAH
hahahahah marie when someone ‘s wrong then that one calls the right people that you are backwards.u r adhered with these bad habits n intentionally and unintentionally can’t leave these bad habits.
All the christian are variable christian because u vary your Bible with the time n made amendments with your choices.you haven’t the actual Bible.if it is a God ‘s book then there is no need to edit it n made its new editions like man made books.you actually are confused people

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Astaghfirullah.May ALLAH destroy those who made wrong concepts about His Beloved Prophet S.A.W. Ameen
I think Jesus ‘s God wants to save u but u r worst enemy of yourself n follower of satan mardood.So keep following ur friend

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my comment s about nabil mardood

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GOOD FOR YOU……CHRISTANS ARE BETTER

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u think u are better but we Muslims are Best
i think u admit the reality

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we shouldn’t say we are better then others…everyone has flaws to em…like ok i’m muslim but I would like to attack on Muslims this second…you can’t claim to be better then others because I am
sure that’s not nesscary…I mean look @ what the muslim society in the western has become to…like aloooot don’t even know meaning of Islam and just live their own lives…all we can do pray for everyone may Allah forgive us ameen n guide all of us =) so yea heena jam look at yourself n others around before talking 🙂 not to be rude anyway….but we shouldn’t judge whose better…I believe it’s also forbidden in Islam to do self bragging etc?

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i used ‘better n best’ words for describing the teaching of christianity n of Islam.I think u can’t say but i m confirmed that Islam’s teaching ‘ll remain best for the rest of earth’s life n for humanity.on the basis of this,ofcourse we muslims are best because we believed in the oneness of ALLAH n on all His qualities that are described in Surah Ikhlas.n those who are muslims but their acts are not like muslims u can’t even say them that they are worst than christians.i think it ‘ll be very clear for u n for faizan.
u ‘ve to ans marie n nabil.thanks

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This is our duty to convey the message of ISLAM to non belivers may be some one converted and shows he/she is more better than us….there are all types of people in ISLAM some are practicing some are not so its not good to say that we Muslims are better….many of muslims who belive in Allah and Muhammad(S.A.W.S) are more worst than CHRISTANS….important thing is that we have to respect all religions….respect humans…and shows ourselves that we are more practicing….

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