Posts Tagged ‘Love Story’
Falling in Love: Allowed in Islam?
Question :What does Islam say about falling in love? Is that allowed in Islam? If it is yes, how could we show that to the person we love without causing fitnah?
Answer: Islam teaches us to be truthful and realistic. Usually, we love for the sake of Allah and we hate for the sake of Allah. Islam teaches us that a male and female can build up a good relationship founded on marriage.
We do not say love is halal or haram because it is a feeling. Maybe it is not under control. You can judge what is under control. But people who fall in love are in many episodes away from the cleansed and pure atmosphere.
Marriages that are usually good and lasting marriages are those that start at the least affection. That affection grows after marriage and maybe it will grow until the couples continue their companionship at the Jannah.
If you have any affection towards a person, you should ask yourself: why do you like that person? If you have good Islamic, reasonable justification, then you need not tell that person of what you feel. However, you can make a serious plan to make him ask for your hand. If you want to know the meaning of fitna, a great part of it is what people nowadays call love or romance.
In this context, we’d like to cite the following fatwa that clarifies the Islamic ruling on falling in love:
“If we are speaking about the emotion which we call “love” then we are simply speaking of a feeling. What we feel toward a particular person is not of great importance, until our feeling is expressed in a particular action. Now if that action is permissible, then well and good. If it is forbidden, then we have incurred something that Allah does not approve of. If it is love between a man and a woman, the emotion itself is not the subject of questioning on the Day of Judgment. If you feel you love someone, then you cannot control your feeling. If that love prompts you to try to see that person in secret and to give expression to your feelings in actions permissible only within the bond of marriage then what you are doing is forbidden.”
Shedding more light on the issue in point we’d like to cite the words of Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He states:
In Islam, it is not a sin if you feel a special affinity or inclination towards a certain individual since human beings have no control on such natural inclinations. We are, however, definitely responsible and accountable if we get carried away by such feelings and take specific actions or steps that might be deemed as haram (forbidden).
As far as male and female interaction is concerned, Islam dictates strict rules: It forbids all forms of ‘dating’ and isolating oneself with a member of the opposite sex, as well indiscriminate mingling and mixing.
If, however, one does none of the above, and all that he or she wants is to seriously consider marrying someone, such a thing itself is not considered haram. In fact, Islam encourages us to marry persons for whom we have special feelings and affinity. Thus, Islam recommends that potential marriage partners see one another before proposing marriage. Explaining the reason for such a recommendation, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “That would enhance/foster the bonding.”
This permission notwithstanding, we are advised against getting carried away by merely the outward appearances of a person; these may be quite misleading. Marriage is a life-long partnership and a person’s real worth is determined not by his or her physical looks, but more so by the inner person or character. Hence, after having mentioned that people ordinarily look for beauty, wealth and family in a marriage partner, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) advised us to consider primarily “the religious or character factor” over and above all other considerations.
Islam does not allow any illicit relationship between a man and a woman. Allaah has established marriage as the legitimate means for satisfying sexual desire, and through marriage a man and woman form a family based on the laws of Allaah, and their children are legitimate. In Islam, there is no such thing as a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. You are either married or you are not. To have a boyfriend or girlfriend, no matter the level of interaction and involvement, is completely haraam!
Contact between the sexes is one of the doors that lead to fitnah (temptation). Sharee’ah is filled with evidence which indicates that it is essential to beware of falling into the traps of the shaytaan in this matter. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw a young man merely looking at a young woman, he turned his head so as to make him look away, then he said:
“I saw a young man and a young woman, and I did not trust the shaytaan not to tempt them.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (885) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
This does not mean that it is haraam for a man or woman to like a specific person whom he or she chooses to be a spouse, and feel love for that person and want to marry them if possible. Love has to do with the heart, and it may appear in a person’s heart for reasons known or unknown. But if it is because of mixing or looking or haraam conversations, then it is also haraam. If it is because of previous acquaintance, being related or because of hearing about that person, and one cannot ward it off, then there is nothing wrong with that love, so long as one adheres to the sacred limits set by Allaah.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
A person may hear that a woman is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable, so he may want to marry her. Or a woman may hear that a man is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable and religiously committed, so she may want to marry him. But contact between the two who admire one another in ways that are not Islamically acceptable is the problem, which leads to disastrous consequences. In this case it is not permissible for the man to get in touch with the woman or for the woman to get in touch with the man, and say that he wants to marry her. Rather he should tell her wali (guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Uthmaan (may Allaah be pleased with them both). But if the woman contacts the man directly or if the man contacts woman directly, this is may leads to fitnah (temptation).
Liqaa’aat al-Baab il-Maftooh
The permissible ways to get the one whom you loves are sufficient i.e
contact the wali or the gaurdian of the person whom you desire to marry, there is no need for haraam means, but we make it hard for ourselves and the shaytaan takes advantage of that.
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The True Love Story for Eternity
The Truth About the Age of Ayshah and Her Marriage to Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him).
by Yusuf Estes
Many things are being said about the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) these days. Some of the accusations are downright amazing and chilling even to consider someone would say it, much less be involved in this type of slander and smear campaign.I have seen many times muslims on different pages and forums have no proper info about these facts,so pls share this Article with your friends…!
Let’s consider some of the questions and what facts really exist about these concerns. Let’s set the record straight once and for all.
A Brief Overview of Basic Facts
What is the true historical evidence about the person life of prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him)? What was his life style? What about his marriage to Khadijah (his first wife)? How did the offer of marriage to Ayshah really take place? Who made the offer? Was there any coercion or compulsion? What was her attitude? How did she reflect on it in later years? What did she have to say about it all? How did she feel about their love and intimacy?
He was the most honest and fair of all the people living in his community. None was respected more for honesty, integrity, sobriety and humbleness.
He had no bad habits and did not engage in drinking or relations with women, although it was common place amongst his people.
He never took a girlfriend nor a mistress in his life and never even attended parties or the like at anytime in his life.
His first personal encounter with a woman was his own wife, Khadijah, and that was for marriage. He was 25 years old and she was 15 years older (40).
He was only married to Khadijah until her death at the age of 65 years old.
There was a long time of mourning and sadness during which he was offered marriage to several women of their families.
He did not accept the first offer of marriage to Ayshah when her father had come to him with the proposal, instead he married an older, large woman named Sawdah.
Ayshah had been offered in marriage and engaged prior to being offered to the prophet, peace and blessings be upon him. That marriage never took place.
When Ayshah was older, again her father offered her in marriage and the proposal was accepted.
The whole family was happily involved and most elated in having the prophet of God as their close relative through marriage.
Ayshah herself was very happy with this marriage as is evidenced by the hundreds of teachings she later related after his death (peace and blessings be upon him).
Details of Clear Proofs and Evidences
What is the truth behind of the age of prophet’s wife, Ayesha?
Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) did not go to Ayesha at all. There was only the offer of marriage, never anything less than this – and the offer was not from the prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) to Ayesha – it was from her father to the prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him).
Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) never had sex outside of marriage.
First of all, let us be crystal clear about a very important subject. The prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) never had sex at all, until after being married, at the age of 25, to a widowed woman, Khadijah, who was 15 years older than he was.
When his wife Khadijah died a number of people tried to encourage the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to take another wife and get married again. Ayshah’s name was mentioned, but he chose to marry Sawdah, who was known for her big size.
All of this is well documented and preserved in the annuls of Muslim scholars for fourteen centuries.
How was Ayesha viewed by others at the time and throughout the history of Islam?
She was highly respected as the daughter of Abu Bakr, a man known as “As-Siddiq” (The one who verifies truth). Abu Bakr was the life long friend of the prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and the first man to accept Islam after revelation of Quran started.
What was Ayesha like?
Ayesha was very intelligent and brilliant in her mind and excellent in treatment of her parents. She was known to give full respect to her husband, Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. She was once accused by some hypocrites of immorality, but in her innocence she did not even know what she was being accused of until her mother explained it to her. And it was Allah who cleared her name forever, by mentioning her purity and innocence in the Quran (Surah An-Nur chapter 24). She became the first of women scholars and teachers of Islam. No other woman narrated as many hadiths as Ayesha.
Marriage offer first came from who?
Khawlah (a Muslim companion woman), suggested the marriage of Ayesha to the prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). He did not accept it.
Who next offered her hand in marriage to the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)?
Abu Bakr had offered his daughter in marriage to someone else prior to the offer made to the prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. Abu Bakr sent his wife out to bring in his daughter to offer her in marriage to the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and then she returned back outside to play. The prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did not accept even though it was very much the custom of the time to accept such an offer of marriage from someone as close as Abu Bakr was to the prophet, peace and blessings be upon him. There is an ayah in the Quran related to this topic, in Surah An-Nisa’, chapter 4, verse 19 – telling us women cannot be inherited against their will. This was the first time for such a ruling in favor of women and it came about to protect women from the very thing people are now trying to accuse our religion of supporting. The truth bears out over the falsehood, in this case very clear.
What did Allah reveal in the Quran about forced marriages and child brides (not old enough to be married)?
“O you who believe, it is for not legal for you to inherit women against their will. And don’t make it difficult for them so you can take from what you have given them (marriage dowry) unless they commit open immorality. And live with them in goodness (Al-Marufi). Because if you dislike them, it could be you dislike something and Allah makes in it a lot of “khair” (good).” [Noble Quran 4:19]
How long before the next offer of marriage by her father to the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)?
When Ayesha was a few years older, her father Abu Bakr, again had the mother bring her into the house to offer her in marriage to the prophet, peace and blessings be upon him. The prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did accept this offer made some years later, when Ayesha was old enough according to Islam (able to bear children).
Was she now considered by Allah to be old enough for marriage?
Yes. This time is was accepted and plans for the marriage were set in place. She tells us of the excitement, preparation and wonderful experience of her being offered and accepted in marriage to the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and their closeness and intimacy. All of this is described in the most beautiful context with nothing left out and yet nothing disgusting – only beauty and enjoyment as described in her own words. The lessons she taught have helped married couples in Islam to know what the limits are and how to share the most pleasure between a married couple in both physical and spiritual ways.
Did she want to be married to him?
Yes. She tells us this was exactly what she wanted all along. The hadiths (narrations by Ayshah) are very clear about all details and must be read in order to fully appreciate the fullness and completeness of their relationship together.
How did she reply to her father’s offer to the prophet, peace and blessings be upon him?
She was very shy and said her silence was understood by her father that she was indeed, accepting the proposal for marriage. This is mentioned by her, along with other important information for Muslims to know about marriage proposals, dowry and proper ways to approach the father or guardian of a woman with the topic of marriage.
What was Ayshah’s status after marrying the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)? (A Brief Overview)
No other woman was loved more by our prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).
He wanted to die with his head in her lap (and he did).
They were in total love with each other the way everyone would love to be in love.
Their romance is known to all of the Muslim world and how much they really enjoyed each others company – always.
They planned on being together in Jannah.
She never said a single bad word against her husband during his life, or after his death. Is there a woman living today who could compare to this great woman?
What was the “norm” regarding the subject of marriage at the time of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and Ayesha?
Actually, the people of Arabia had the custom of marrying off any of their girls at the age of the beginning of their monthly cycles.
Even the Arch Bishop of Canterbury would not have been blamed for marrying a young girl back one hundred years or so as this was still accepted at that time.
Consider the Catholic Church claims that Mary, may Allah’s peace be on her, was married to Joseph before having Jesus (peace and blessings be upon him) and her age was just a year or two older than Ayshah’s age, but Joseph was mentioned as being in his 90’s! (we do not have this story in Islam, because Mary is considered a true virgin and never married and never had other children except for Jesus Christ (peace and blessings be upon him).
The marriage of Ayesha to Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is nothing less than the best love story ever written.
Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet leaves much to be desired by comparison.
Consider the contrast and be honest in your conclusion:
Romeo and Juliet both were running around behind their parents back – with someone whom they did not approve of at all – their families were fighting each other in a feud and they forbid them to be together at all.
Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was being offered the hand of the daughter of his best friend, Abu Bakr in a marriage environment. All of the family members were happy about this and had approved of the marriage.
Romeo and Juliet had their affair in secrecy without the benefit of clergy (not married).
Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and Ayesha waited until after marriage and even after a courtship period described in beautiful details by Ayesha herself.
Romeo and Juliet both committed suicide. According to Judaism and Christianity as well as Islam – anyone who commits suicide will go to Hell forever.
Ayesha and Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) both believed in One God – the God of the Jews and the God of Christ (peace and blessings be upon him) and they both preached a message of salvation through direct repentance to Almighty God.
Above all, they will be together in the Paradise where they will live – happily ever after.
Honestly – Which one is the true romance story?
We pray to Allah to accept this humble effort to clarify misunderstandings and remove doubts some people may entertain regarding the relationship of two of the greatest personalities ever to come forth on this earth, ameen.
JazakAllah khair for reading,
slave of Allah SWT!
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She was one of the noblest women around, coming from a very prominent family. She was also quite beautiful and the holder of a considerable amount of wealth, being a prominent businesswoman. To marry her would have been a great feat for any man, and indeed, quite a few of the most prominent and wealthy men in society had asked for her hand.
Yet, she rejected them all; already being a widow, she had lost the desire to marry again.Until he came into her life. He was young man of 25, and although he was also of a noble family, he was an orphan and was not a man of many means.
He had made a meager living tending sheep in the hills surrounding the city. Yet, he had an impeccable moral character, and he was widely known as one of the most honest men around. That is what attracted her to him: she was looking for someone honest who could conduct business for her, as she – a woman in a fiercely patriarchal society – could not do it herself.
So, he started working for her.After he came back from his first business trip, she asked her servant, whom she sent with him, about him and his conduct. The servant amazed her by his report: this young man was the kindest, gentlest man he had ever met. Never did he treat the servant harshly, as many others do. Yet, there was more: as they traveled in the heat of the desert, the servant noticed that a cloud had followed them the entire time, shading them from the blazing sun.
The businesswoman was quite impressed with her new employee.Not only that, this new employee proved to be an astute businessman in his own right. He took his employer’s merchandise, sold it, and with the profits bought other merchandise that he sold again, thus profiting twice.
All this was enough for her: the embers of love in her heart that were once extinguished re-kindled again, and she resolved to marry this young man, who was 15 years younger than she.So, she sent her sister to this young man.
She asked him, “Why are you not married, yet?”
“For lack of means,” he answered.
“What if I could offer you a wife of nobility, beauty, and wealth? Would you be interested?” she told him.
He replied in the affirmative, but when she mentioned her sister, the young employee chuckled in amazement.
“How could I marry her? She has turned down the most noble men in the city, much wealthier and prominent than me, a poor shepherd,” he said.
“Don’t you worry,” the sister replied, “I’ll take care of it.”
Not long after, the wealthy businesswoman married her young employee, and it was the beginning of one of the most loving, happiest, and sacred marriages in all of human history: that of Prophet Muhammad and Khadijah, the daughter of Khuwaylid.
When they were married, the Prophet was 25 years old, and Khadijah was 40. Yet, that did not bother the Prophet one bit. He loved her so deeply, and she loved him as deeply. They were married for 25 years, and she bore him seven children: 3 sons and 4 daughters.
All of the sons died in young age. Khadijah was a source of immense love, strength, and comfort for the Prophet Muhammad, and he leaned heavily on this love and support on the most important night of his life.
While he was meditating in cave of Hira, the Angel Gabriel came to the Prophet Muhammad and revealed to him the first verses of the Qur’an and declared to him that he was to be a Prophet.
The experience terrified the Prophet Muhammad, and he ran home, jumping into Khadijah’s arms crying, “Cover me! Cover me!” She was startled by his terror, and after soothing and comforting him for a while, the Prophet was able to calm down and relate to her his experience.
The Prophet feared he was losing his mind or being possessed.
Khadijah put all his fears to rest: “Do not worry,” she said, “for by Him who has dominion over Khadijah’s soul, I hope that you are the Prophet of this nation. Allah would never humiliate you, for you are good to your relatives, you are true to your word, you help those who are in need, you support the weak, you feed the guest and you answer the call of those who are in distress.”
She then took him to her cousin, Waraqah ibn Nawfal – a scholar well-versed in the Judeo-Christian scripture – and he confirmed to the Prophet that his experience was Divine and he was to be the Last Prophet.
After his ministry began, and the opposition of his people became harsh and brutal, Khadijah was always there to support the Prophet Muhammad, sacrificing all of her wealth to support the cause of Islam. When the Prophet and his family was banished to the hills outside of Mecca, she went there with him, and the three years of hardship and deprivation eventually led to her death.
The Prophet Muhammad mourned her deeply, and even after her death, the Prophet would send food and support to Khadijah’s friends and relatives, out of love for his first wife.
Once, years after Khadijah died, he came across a necklace that she once wore. When he saw it, he remembered her and began to cry and mourn.
His love for her never died, so much so, that his later wife A’isha became jealous of her. Once she asked the Prophet if Khadijah had been the only woman worthy of his love. The Prophet replied: “She believed in me when no one else did; she accepted Islam when people rejected me; and she helped and comforted me when there was no one else to lend me a helping hand.”
Much has been made and said about Prophet Muhammad’s multiple marriages. There are many who smear the Prophet as a womanizing philanderer, citing his multiple marriages.
This is absolute propaganda. As a response to those who malign the Prophet , IF the Prophet were anything of the sort, he would have taken advantage of his youth to do such a thing. But he did not! At a time when it was a common custom to have multiple wives, the Prophet did not marry anyone else while he was with Khadijah.
It was only after Khadijah died, may God be pleased with her, that he married other women. Most of these wives were widows, whom the Prophet married to care after them, or they were the daughters of prominent Arab chieftains, so that the Prophet could form a cohesive Muslim society out of a fiercely tribalistic (and barbaric) Arab culture.
The smears against the Prophet fall flat on their faces once the light of truth shines brightly upon them.In a song about the Prophet and Khadjiah, Muslim rappers Native Deen sing: “We look for stories of love in places dark and cold – When we have a guiding light for the whole world to behold.”
Many of what we call “love stories” today are nothing more than stories of lust and desire, physical attraction disguised as love.Yet, I can find no love story more powerful, more spiritually uplifting, more awe inspiring as that of the Prophet Muhammad and Khadijah.
It is a shining example of what an ideal marriage is, and if I ever claim that I love my wife, I must gauge my actions with that of the Prophet.even if i found someone,perfectly for me,then i will love her with all my heart,deeply.
what is to me, the greatest of all love stories: that of Muhammad and Khadijah.
Love,due to person Character and person involvement in Islam,not due to beauty or body looks.Don’t flrt with anyone feelings.Don’t break anyone trust.If you can’t fullfill your promise,then don’t start such relation.
Even with all of its amazing and creative talent, Hollywood could not have come up with a story greater than this.