ISLAM—World's Greatest Religion!

Posts Tagged ‘Marriage in Islam


In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

Why I Want To Get Married?

Because I want my eyes to see someone
special, someone halal, knowing that he/she
is my gift from Allah. Because I want someone who loves
Allah and loves me because he lovesAllah. Because I want somebody to share my
happiness and praise Allah with me,
someone to cry my tears with me and
make du’a with me and someone to love
and love Allah with me. Because I want to have children of my
own to love and care and share with a
gift from Allah. Because I want to share Allah’s beautiful
creations and praise His name with
someone who Allah has fated to be with
me since I was born. Because verily, with a halal partner, my
life and everything I do with my
husband will be halal in the eyes of
Allah. Because I am a gift from Allah to
someone, and I want to let him feel
Allah’s love through me.

[post this Article on your facebook wall,and share with friends.click above “Share” button …]

Bookmark and Share

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

[where ever you post,please add source link.either in website or even in facebook NOTE…please….spread the link of site..]

line1

Note:I’d love to see who visit my website,your views about website. Click here to leave your feedback.

line1


In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

Marriage as a Student – Should I or Shouldn’t I?

Written By: Riaz Dahi; Taken from Ministry of Dawah and Darulihsan

Man has been created in such a way that he requires a companion throughout his life. It is a natural desire and inclination that has been placed within him through the bounty of Allah (SWT). This inclination is not merely of a carnal nature but it seeks a soulmate for companionship, love, trust, understanding and mercy.

It is for this reason that Allah (SWT) draws our attention to the purpose of creating males and females in pairs:

“And of His signs is that He created for you of your kind, spouses that you may take rest(live) with them, and set between you love and mercy. Of course, in that are insights for those who think.” (Sura 30, Verse 21)

The carnal desire experienced by males and females is primarily instituted to ensure the continuation of Allah’s vicegerents on earth i.e. the continuation of the human civilisation as we know it. It is extremely sad that as Muslims we have forgotten this extremely important aspect of being unified with the opposite sex and have resorted to building it simply on our base desires.

Young students on campus are not immune to the attractions felt towards the opposite sex. This attraction usually starts out as a physical, lustful desire and eventually progresses into a relationship between two individuals. Most students on campus range in age from around 18 to 25, the beginning of the prime of their youth. They are no longer children and are well on their way into adulthood.

As a result many are faced with a dilemma while attending campus in that they have either found a suitable marriage partner or would like to find themselves one to protect them from the evils of zina. The question then arises as to whether they are ready for marriage, both emotionally and financially. They are generally not supported by their parents in their views and so end up continuing to engage in relationships with members of the opposite sex to satisfy their emotional and sometimes physical needs.

Premarital Relationships

Before continuing, it is imperative that we understand unequivocally that all relationships between males and females who are not mahram (i.e. they can marry one another according to shariah) beyond necessity are completely haraam (forbidden). We sometimes try to find ways around this rule in order to satisfy ourselves that what we are doing is still within the bounds of shariah because our intentions are pure.

This restriction is the order and hukm of Allah (SWT) and even if it is our intention to marry the person in the near future, we are completely precluded from engaging in any relationship with them beyond that which is necessary.

How do I know if I’m ready for marriage?

Now that we have cleared up any shari’ misunderstandings, let us briefly look at what pillars need to be solidified before a young person can be classified as ready for marriage. The main issues that affect the marriage relationship are financial and emotional ones.

The most important aspect of being able to live with another person for the rest of your life is your ability to compromise. It is easy to live through issues that you are both in agreement with. No one has a difficult time dealing with someone who agrees with them. It is when there is a disagreement, be it small or big, that relationships begin to crumble. Emotionally, one has to be able to deal with such situations. Again, our deen is so complete that it encompasses all areas needed to live a good and pure life.

We need to study the sunnah advices for married couples and identify whether we are prepared to make these sacrifices for our spouses. As women we need to be understanding towards men’s inability to always control their temper and as men we need to consider some women’s inability to control their tongues. As men we need to learn to control those tempers and as women those tongues. No matter how much financial wealth we bring into the marriage, if we are deficient in emotional wealth the marriage will be a failure from the start.

On a financial level society has placed certain expectations on a married couple that sometimes tend to go beyond the capabilities of any young individual. Moreover they often transgress the guidelines given by shariah when it comes to marriage.

Hazrat Ayesha (RA) narrates that Rasulullah (SAW) said: “The marriage that involves least burden is the one that produces the most blessing.” (Bai Haqi)

Despite this very clear hadith it is found that married couples are expected to have lavish wedding parties, purchase brand new cars for both parties and be able to find five star, fully furnishedaccommodation in the most upmarket suburbs. A married couple that is unable to maintain such standards is considered one that is battling or sad. Sometimes we even degenerate to speculating that they may be expecting an unexpected child and so had to rush the marriage despite the lack of financial means. May Allah (SWT) save us from such filthy notions.

There is no doubt that a husband must have the means to be able to support his wife. No marriage is ever built on “love and fresh air”. A few rands and dollars are definitely required. But as unmarried students we are willing to live in student style accommodation, drive a battered second hand car and flash our student cards at every possible shopping expedition in the hope of getting a measly studentdiscount. A day later when the words of nikah are said we are immediately expected to produce a platinum credit card with an unlimited facility. Is there any logic in such behaviour?

On the other hand we find parents that are willing to shower their children with expensive cars and clothes, lavish overseas holidays and unlimited spending money but when the question of marriage is raised their blanket response is that the child “must be able to stand on his or her own two feet.” How far have we strayed from our beautiful deen that we are willing to spend our wealth in Allah (SWT)’s disobedience but when it comes to protecting the izzat and respect of our sons and daughters we are so miserly?

It is reported by Hazrat Abu Sa’id (RA) and Hazrat Abdullah Ibn Abbas (RA) that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said, “He who has a child born to him should give it a good name and a good education and marry it when it reaches puberty. If he does not marry it when it reaches puberty and it commits sin, the guilt rests only upon its father.” (Bai Haqi)

Will marriage change my life?

A common question among youngsters who want to get married is whether marriage will change their lives. The natural response to this question is yes, your life will undoubtedly change. How can it not when you’re sharing it with a whole other person? The question is whether it will change for the better or worse. The first aspect of change boils down to one’s level of maturity. If you are the type of individual that lacks discipline in your studies and will be distracted by a partner being around all the time, then you are not ready for marriage.
On the other hand as a joint team you can achieve so much more than you would on your own. There is someone to share the household responsibilities with, a partner to assist you in your studies and motivate you towards achieving good results as well as the companion that you have been created to desire.

Many young students live their lives with a haraam partner from the opposite sex and seem to be able to cope with their studies. They spend all day together at campus and some even share their living arrangements with each other. How is this different, from a practical perspective, to marriage? Should it not be easier if the relationship is blessed with the added bonus of Allah (SWT) divine nusrat and help?

Conclusion

There is no doubt that in today’s environment of fitnah and haraam, young students are easily tempted to being led astray. It is extremely difficult to maintain one’s haya and modesty when the ropes of shaytaan are tugging so strongly at one’s nafs. At such a time we need to recognise that Allah (SWT) has created us with an inner desire for the companionship of the opposite sex and has made it lawful for us to engage in such relationships within the bounds of nikah. There is no compulsion on the quality of life that needs to be lead financially. All we need to ensure is that we have the ability to support ourselves practically, be it through scholarships or part time work or through the efforts of our parents and that we have the emotional intelligence to manage the relationship.

If you are entering the campus environment or are there already and are seriously concerned about the level of your imaan and protecting your chastity, you need to conscientiously explore the possibility of marriage through halaal means. If you are already in an illicit relationship and would like to make your partner a husband or wife in the future, you need to set the wheels in motion to get married as soon as possible. If you don’t have the financial means or feel you are emotionally not ready, then it is imperative that you end the haraam relationship and say to your partner that it will only resume once you have the means to get married. If they are truly meant for you and for them, you will be able to wait until the time is right. In the meanwhile, get down on your musallah  and fervently pray to Allah (SWT) to open a way for you get married as soon as possible.
May Allah (SWT) grant all those who are married blessed marriages, all those who want to get married pious partners and all those who are unable to get married patience in their time of difficulty.

Hazrat Ibn Abbas (RA) has said that Rasoolullah (SAW) has said, “You have not seen anything like marriage for increasing the love of two people.” (Mishkat)

:: Read MORE Articles Related to Marriage here ::

Marriage in Islam – Purpose and Virtues :: Special Article ! 

Wedding Ceremony In Islam – Customs, Rituals & Traditions

Falling in LOVE- allowed in Islam ? 

Islamic Marriage RULES ! 

[post this Article on your facebook wall,and share with friends.click above “Share” button …]

Bookmark and Share

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

[where ever you post,please add source link.either in website or even in facebook NOTE…please….spread the link of site..]

line1

Note:I’d love to see who visit my website,your views about website. Click here to leave your feedback.

line1


In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

Islamic Marriage Rules


Islam provides essential ingredients for a man and woman to be married and to have sexual relations as man and wife. While there are many books on the subject which we recommend for all Muslims to read, we humbly offer the follow information about these ingredients, inshallah.

1. The first ingredient is the “wali” (nearest relative to the lady, such as her father or brother if the father is unable to perform the task) or “wakil” (imam or appointed guardian to act on behalf of the best interests of the lady). It is his job to help find and interview the background of any potential suitor for the lady.

2. After choosing the young man, there is an appointment scheduled for the two of them to meet (under chaperoned supervision) to discuss their possible future together.

3. After the initial meeting, both of them are to pray to Allah in the form of salat known as “salatul istakharah” for guidance. If this is not done, it does not invalidate the marriage, but it is something that will really help both of them in their future. Please refer to the subject of the “salatul istakharah.”

To know How to do Istikhara Click here ! 

4. If both of them recognized positive signs from the “salatul istakharah” then they would proceed to make the “nikah” (marriage contract). This again is done under supervision with two witnesses. It is usually attended by an imam or knowledgeable person in Islam, just so that there will be no mistakes in taking care of the details.

5. The mahr (dowry) is presented and the lady is asked if she is prepared to accept this mahr and be married to this man. This is usually repeated three times in front of the witnesses, but at least one acknowledgment from the lady is necessary to proceed.

6. The women would then sign the nikah document in front of the witnesses.

7. The witnesses (usually two) would sign and attest that they had been present at the nikah and did witness the acceptance by the lady of the offer of marriage by the man. The imam might also sign, but this does not affect the validity of the marriage. Any two adult Muslims may witness the document. In the case of women witnesses, it is correct to have two in place of one. If there were to be two witnesses, but one is a woman, then it would be correct to have a man and two women sign the document.

8. After the acceptance of the lady, the signing of the nikah (document), witnessing of the two witnesses and exchange of mahr, the man and the women are considered legal in Islam to live together and be together as man and wife and to have sex. However, until they actually consummate the marriage (i.e., have intercourse) they may cancel the marriage, and the mahr would be returned back to the man.

9. After the signing of the marriage document, and the acceptance of the bride of the ‘mahr’ (dowry), and the signing of the two witnesses, the groom is free to take his bride at anytime he chooses. There is no waiting, if that is what you are implying. As regards any kind of a deadline, this would be according to the contract. If the lady or the gentleman has specified that for whatever reasons, if they are not able to be living together by such and such a date, then the mahr could be returned back to the man and the woman and man would be considered not married (unless of course, if they had consummated the marriage by having sex together).

10. If the groom is unable or unwilling to take the bride after an extended period of time and she or he would like to annul the marriage, they would simply let the other person know and cause the mahr to be returned to the groom.

NOTE: This is all based on the fact that although they have a contract for marriage (nikah) it is not considered completed until after they consummate (have sex). Once that has happened, they are married and the only way for them to no longer be married would be through divorce (khulwa or lian or talaq).

And of course, Allah Knows Best.

Any good is from Allah the mistakes were from myself. May Allah guide all of us to His Truth, ameen.

:: Read MORE Articles Related to Marriage here ::

Marriage in Islam – Purpose and Virtues :: Special Article ! 

Wedding Ceremony In Islam – Customs, Rituals & Traditions


[post this Article on your facebook wall,and share with friends.click above “Share” button …]

Bookmark and Share

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

[where ever you post,please add source link.either in website or even in facebook NOTE…please….spread the link of site..]

line1

Note:I’d love to see who visit my website,your views about website. Click here to leave your feedback.

line1



In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious 

Choosing the Desired Wife


When seriously considering marriage, you must pose the question to yourself as to just what kind of wife you want, what her qualities should be in order to establish an Islamic and peaceful household, and how you will know who she is.

All praise is due to Allaah, Lord of the worlds, the Merciful, the Hearer of supplications, and peace and blessings upon our beloved and humble prophet Muhammad,and upon his family and companions.
When marriage is spoken of during these “modern” times, Muslims become horrified, conjuring images of an arranged marriage, trying to find that “perfect” companion, how much of a financial burden it will become, and so on. The reality is that Islam came to solve these problems, not exacerbate them, yet unfortunately we have integrated our local traditions and customs with Islam so that marriage has become a major concern for a man rather than a delightful experience.

When living in a free, perverted and corrupt Western society, the Muslim male youth finds many temptations and tests, as a result of mixing with females, which he must face and overcome. He must constantly resist these temptations, which are thrown at him in the streets, on the media, and at work. And so the wisdom of the Prophet (s.a.w) echoes on,when he said: “O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains the eyes from casting (evil glances), and preserves one from immorality…”

When seriously considering marriage, you must pose the question to yourself as to just what kind of wife you want, what her qualities should be in order to establish an Islamic and peaceful household, and how you will know who she is. As Muslims, we believe that Allaah wants the best for us, and that His Prophet (s.a.w) illustrated this through his own life. So note that by following the advise of our own Creator, and that of His beloved servant, we can only be successful.

Whom To Marry?! 

Islam is clear on the kind of wife you should be seeking. The Prophet (s.a.w) said:

“A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status, her beauty, and her religion; so try to get one who is religious, may you be blessed.”

This specifically defines just what kind of a companion we are seeking, for if we marry her for anything other than her religious piety, our marriage is bound to fall into misery. True, beauty and charm is hard to resist, yet beauty does not last forever and does not guarantee you her obedience and religiousness. Financial status is dynamic, and so is worldly status, yet religion strongly establishes a household, and it may be that through your intention of marrying her for her religion, the rest is given to you anyway.

In another hadith, the Prophet (s.a.w) said: “The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.”

Imagine! Nothing in this world is as valuable as a pious woman! This point has been stressed many times by RasulAllaah (s.a.w), who himself, when asked what three things he loved the most, mentioned a pious woman.

Once the following ayah was revealed: “They who hoard up gold and silver and do not spend it in the way of Allaah, unto them give tidings of a painful doom. On that day when it will (all) be heated in the fire of Jahannam, and their foreheads and flanks and their backs will be branded therewith (and it will be said to them):

‘Here is what you hoarded for yourselves, now taste of what you used to hoard’ “[al-Taubah: 34-35]. Umar (r.a.a) has been quoted to say that, when this ayah was revealed, he approached the Prophet (s.a.w), submitting that the ayah weighed heavily on the minds of the Sahaba. RasulAllaah (s.a.w) replied that the best thing to be treasured is the devoted wife who causes pleasure when seen, obeys orders instantly and takes full care of herself and her husbands property when he is away.

Abu Bakr once asked RasulAllaah (s.a.w) what was the best thing to be treasured, and he (s.a.w) replied: “the tongue in remembrance of Allaah, the heart filled with thanks to Allaah, and a pious wife who helps in virtuous deeds”.

Look at how valuable such a woman is in the sight of Allaah! How can a man live unhappily with such a person.

Qualities of a Pious Woman

Alright, you say, you’ve convinced me, but what actually makes her a pious woman? The answer is simple: Allaah himself has described those qualities most loved by Him in the Qur’an, and in the ahadith there are numerous accounts of the virtuous attributes of a pious woman. The following are some ayahs on the attributes of the wife you should be seeking, so note those fine and appreciative qualities.

The following are some ayahs on the attributes of the wife you should be seeking, so note those fine and appreciative qualities.

“And women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity”[s.24;v.26]

“Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husbands) absence what Allaah would have them guard”[s.4;v.34]

“It may be, if he divorced you (all), that Allaah will give him in exchange consorts better than you, who submit (Muslims), who believe, who are devout, who turn to Allaah in repentance, who worship (in humility), who travel (for faith) and fast…”[s.66;v.5].

And then, in surah Ahzab, is a full list of those qualities loved by Allaah, qualities which by the way should be evident in both males and females. So, my dear brother, choose her for the following attributes:

-a Muslim woman
 -a believing woman
-a devout woman
-a true woman
-a woman who is patient and constant
-a woman who humbles herself
-a woman who gives charity
-a woman who fasts and denies herself
-a woman who guards her chastity
-a woman who engages much in Allaah’s praise.

Among the four known perfect women was Maryam. She was loved by Allaah because of her religious qualities:

“O Maryam! Worship your Lord: prostrate yourself, and bow down (in prayer) with those who bow down”[s.3;v.43].

Another was the wife of Pharaoh: “And Allaah sets forth, as an example to those who believe, the wife of Pharaoh: behold she said: ‘O my Lord, build for me, in nearness to Thee, a mansion in the Garden’ “[s.66;v.11].
The Prophet (s.a.w) loved his wives because of their religious qualities. Aisha once related the fine qualities of Zainab: “(Zainab) was the one who was somewhat equal in rank with me in the eyes of Allaah’s Messenger (s.a.w), and I have never seen a woman more advanced in religious piety than Zainab, more God-conscious, more truthful, more alive to the ties of blood, more generous and having more sense of self-sacrifice in practical life and having more charitable disposition and thus more closer to Allaah, the Exalted, than her.”

Ah, you think, but you’ll never find such a woman! Well, if that was true, Allaah would not have described her in the first place, and furthermore those qualities were emanating from the women described above. Islam deals with reality, not fiction. Sure, the perfect woman doesn’t exist, yet

“if you take a dislike to them, it may be that you dislike a thing, and Allaah brings about through it a great deal of good”[s.4;v.19].

Remember also that you are not perfect either.

Knowing Who She Is ?! 

To find that pious woman, there are two steps to be taken, and that first one relies on your personal observation. In surah Nisaa, Allaah asks the believing women that they should

“lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments,” and also that they “should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments”[s.24;v.31].

If you notice a woman acting modestly, being not too obvious through her actions (by lowering her voice when around men), one who attempts to hide her attractions (which includes her external beauty as well as her internal charms), then you know she has some of those precious qualities. When you see a woman unashamedly flirting, unconcerned about her revealing clothes, and freely converses with males- keep far, far away. I’m sure when you get married you want your wife to devote her love to you, not to twenty other “just good friends”.

Through simple observation, you can get a glimpse of her nature; for example, the way she stands when conversing, how she maintains eye-contact, her clothes, where she spends her time etc. Look for her strong points, and don’t stress on her weak ones.

Yet, after all this, we still have to come to the most important topic. You can look all you want at her, set a private investigator to track her Yet, after all this, we still have to come to the most important topic. You can look all you want at her, set a private investigator to track her movements, read her diaries (all of which I consider extreme and unIslamic), yet, my dear brother, no-one knows her heart and intentions, no-one knows whether she will turn sour or more religious, or whether you are suitable for each other, except for Allaah.

Trust in Allah! 

We are choosing our wife for her permanent values; namely her religious devotions, moral integrity, character etc. But believe me, if we try ourselves to combine a marriage, we are almost sure to fail, because we have no knowledge.
Allaah loves a servant when he puts his trust in Him. When we do so, it is illustrating how we rely upon Him for help, and proving our sincerity to Him, establishing that we recognize His infinite knowledge and wisdom. illustrating how we rely upon Him for help, and proving our sincerity to Him, establishing that we recognize His infinite knowledge and wisdom. Islam is likened to being as a house, and in my estimation nothing cements that house together as well as putting our trust in Allaah.

It is related on the authority of Jabir ibn ‘Abdullah that the Prophet (s.a.w) used to teach his companions to seek, through a special du’a (known as an istikharah), the guidance of Allaah in all matters which affected them. RasulAllaah (s.a.w) said: “When you are confused about what you should do in a certain situation, then pray two rak’at of nafl salaat and read the following du’a (du’a of istikharah).”

To read the way and more detail about Istikhara prayer CLICK HERE

I am surprised at the criticisms thrown at this du’a, and of its negligence. We are humans, powerless in this sphere of life, knowledgeable only enough to survive. So why shouldn’t we turn to Allaah and seek His perfect help whenever we require it? Allaah responds to the call of His servant when he asks for guidance, and we are after all seeking to do something in order to please Him.

Many wrong notions exist concerning istikharah. Many Muslims will pray, read the du’a, and run to bed expecting to see a dream showing them their future wife, what her favorite color is, and some other weird fantasy. That is not the purpose of this salaat.

The results of an istikharah can take many forms. Basically, you go by your feelings, (i.e. you think about everything carefully and then make a decision ) . Also, you may notice events have changed, either for or against you – so you re-evaluate your situation again – and perhaps your decision might change. Finally, as a wonderful gift from Allaah, you may be blessed with a dream.

The Prophet (s.a.w) once sent Zainab a proposal of marriage. She refused to accept the proposal straight away, expressing her intention to refer the matter to Allaah: “I do not do anything until I solicit the will of my Lord.” Allaah, the Responsive, answered her plea for help and revealed an ayah approving of the marriage. We may seem shocked at her refusal to accept a proposal from what is the best husband any woman can have, yet she was just recognizing that it is Allaah who knows how successful such a marriage will be, and as a sign of appreciation, that reply is now preserved in our Holy Book: al Qur’an.

The Prophet (s.a.w) once said to Aisha: “I saw you in a dream for three nights when an angel brought you to me in a silk cloth and he said: ‘Here is your wife’, and when I removed (the cloth) from your face, lo, it was yourself, so I said: ‘if this is from Allaah, let Him carry it out’ “. Marriage is a serious step, and requires the right attitude. If marriage completes half our faith, shouldn’t that half be the best half? A woman married for the wrong reasons can only weaken the Muslim household. Consider that she will be your life-long companion, the rarer of your children.

Don’t marry her for her worldly wealth, but for her wealth in Islamic wisdom and knowledge. Her status in this life is but illusionary, so choose her for her status in the sight of Allaah. Beauty is but superficial, but the beauty of Iman is transcendent. When asking Allaah for a wife, call upon Him by His beautiful names, as He has commanded us:

“For Allaah are certain and dignified names: therefore call upon Him by them”[s.7;v.189].

Ask for a companion who is devout, pious, patient and so on. Be among those who say:

“Our Lord, may our spouses and our offspring be a joy to our eyes and make us leaders of the righteous”[al-Furqan,74].

We cannot provide a better conclusion than saying that we must put your trust in Allaah. You must have trust in His concern for us, and His ability to help us. Allaah says:

“Put your trust in Allaah, for Allaah loves those who put their trust in Him”[s.3;v.159].

May Allaah help us in our sincere efforts in following His commandments and the way of His beloved servant, and provide us with wives whom He loves.

“When my servants ask you concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I respond to the prayer of every supplicant when he calls on Me: let them also, with a will, listen to my call, and believe in Me: that they may walk in the right way”[al-Baqarah,v.186]

[post this Article on your facebook wall,and share with friends.click above “Share” button …]

Bookmark and Share

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

[where ever you post,please add source link.either in website or even in facebook NOTE…please….spread the link of site..]

line1

Note:I’d love to see who visit my website,your views about website. Click here to leave your feedback.

line1


In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

Exposing Fake Myth : Muslim women are forced in marriage? 


There is a halal arranged marriage and a haram one. It is OK to arrange marriages by suggestion and recommendation as long as both parties are agreeable. The other arranged marriage is when parents choose the future spouse and the couple concerned is forced or have no choice in the matter.  One of the conditions of a valid marriage is consent of the couple.

Marriage by definition is a voluntary union of two people.

Islam has honoured woman is by giving her the right to choose her husband. Her parents have no right to force her to marry someone she dislikes. The Muslim woman knows this right, but she does not reject the advice and guidance of her parents when a potential suitor comes along, because they have her best interests at heart, and they have more experience of life and people. At the same time, she does not forego this right because of her father’s wishes that may make him force his daughter into a marriage with someone she dislikes. 

“A girl came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and informed him that her father had married her to her cousin against her wishes, where upon the Prophet allowed her to exercise her choice. She then said, ‘I am reconciled to what my father did but I wanted to make it known to women that fathers have no right to say in this matter”. [Narrated by Imam Bukhari See Fath al Bari, 9/194, Kitab al-nikah, bab ikrah al-bint ‘ala al-zawaj; Ibn Majah, 1/602, Kitab al-nikah, bab man zawwaja ibnatahu wa hiya karihah; al-Mabsut 5/2.]

There are many other texts that support the couple in this sensitive issue, another same report quoted by Imam Bukhari from al-Khansa’ bint Khidam:

“My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him). He said to me: `Accept what your father has arranged.’ I said, `I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.’ He said, `Then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.’ I said, `I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them”

At first, the Prophet (Peace be upon him) told al-Khansa’ to obey her father, and this is as it should be, because the concern of fathers for their daughters’ well-being is well-known. But when he realized that her father wanted to force her into a marriage she did not want, he gave her the freedom to choose, and saved her from the oppression of a father who wanted to force her into an unwanted marriage.
Islam does not want to impose an unbearable burden man or woman by forcing them to marry someone whom they dislike, because it wants marriages to be successful, based on compatibility between the partners; there should be common ground between them in terms of physical looks, attitudes, habits, inclinations and aspirations.

A warning from the Scholars against the invalidity of forced marriages within Islaam.

“Do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree between themselves in a lawful manner.” [Noble Quran 2:232]

1. Question: Is it permissible for a father to compel his daughter into a marriage with someone she does not desire?
Answer: It is not permissible for the father or someone besides him to compel the one who is under his guardianship to marry someone she does not desire to marry. Rather, it is necessary to seek her consent and permission due to the saying of the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam):

The virgin is not to be married until her consent has been sought. They said: O Messenger of Allaah! What is her consent? He replied: Her silence. And in another wording: And regarding the virgin, her father seeks her consent and her consent is her silence.

Therefore it is obligatory upon the father when she reaches the age of nine or greater that he asks for her consent. It is likewise for her guardians, they do not marry her without her consent. This is obligatory upon all of them. Whoever marries his daughter without permission/consent then the marriage is not correct because one of the conditions of the marriage is the consent and pleasure of both parties. So if he marries her without her being pleased with it and compels her with strong threats or even beating, the marriage is not valid…

It is required from the prospective husband, when he knows that she does not desire him for marriage, that he does not pursue the matter even if her father facilitates this for him (give him permission). It is obligatory for him to fear Allaah and not to come to the woman who does not want him for marriage… It is obligatory for him to beware of what Allaah has made unlawful upon him and this is because the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) ordered the girls consent to be sought (first).

Shaikh Bin Baaz in Fataawal-Mar’ah Vol. 2. p.50

2. Question: I have a sister and my father married her to someone without seeking her opinion and without her being pleased with it. She is twenty-one years of age and he made a false testimony for the marriage contract (saying) that the girl agrees to the marriage… So what is the ruling regarding this marriage contract…?

Answer: …However the correct saying in this matter is that it is not lawful for the father or any one else to compel the girl into marriage with someone she does not desire even if he is suitable, because the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said:

Do not marry the virgin until her permission has been sought. And this is general – no one is exempted from it, not (even) her guardians. It is reported in Saheeh Muslim: The virgin, her father is to seek her consent... Shaikh Ibn Uthaimeen in Fataawal-Mar’ah Vol. 1. p.47

Another Fatwa from “Al-Masa’il ul-Mardiniyyah” Translated by Abu `Abdullah Muhammad al-Jibali

May a father force his virgin daughter who attained puberty to marry? Two well-known opinions in this regard are reported from Ahmad: That he may compel her. This is also the opinion of Malik, ash-Shafi`i, and others.

That he may not. This is also the opinion of Abu Hanifah and others, and is the correct one.

People have differed as to the reason permitting the compulsion: whether it is virginity, the daughter being under-aged, or a combination of both. The closest opinion to the truth is her being under-aged, whereas no one can compel a grown-up virgin in marriage. Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“A non-virgin woman may not be married without her command, and a virgin may not be married without her permission; and enough permission for her is to remain silent (because of her natural shyness).” [Al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others]

Thus the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), prohibits forcing a virgin in marriage without her permission, whether it be her father or someone else. Furthermore, Ayshah said that she asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) “In the case of a young girl whose parents marry her, should her permission be sought or not?” He replied, “Yes, she must give her permission.” She then said, “But a virgin will be shy, O Allah’s Messenger.” He answered:

“Her silence is [considered as] her permission.” [Al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others]

This applies to the father as well as others. Furthermore, Islam does not give the father the right to use any of her wealth without her permission, how then could he be allowed to decide, without her permission, how her body (which is more important than her wealth) is to be used, specially when she disagrees to that and is mature to decide for herself?

Also, there is evidence and consensus in Islam to restrict an underage person’s free control of his wealth or person. However, to make a virginity a reason for the restriction contradicts the Islamic basis.

As for the difference between the non-virgin and virgin in the hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), it is not a differentiation between compulsion and non-compulsion; the difference between the two cases is that (a) the former gives her instructions for the marriage whereas the latter gives permission, and that (b) the virgin’s silence counts as a permission. The reason for this is that a virgin would be shy to discuss the matter of marriage, so she is not proposed to directly; rather, her walee (guardian) is approached, he takes her permission, and then she gives him the permission not the command to marry her.

And as for a non-virgin, she would not have the shyness of virginity anymore; thus she can discuss the matter of her marriage, she can be proposed to, and she gives the command to her wali to perform the marriage, and he must obey her.

Thus the wali is command-executor in the case of the non-virgin, and is permission-seeker in the case of the virgin. This is what the Prophet’s words indicate. As for compelling her to marry despite her loathing to do so, this would contradict the fundamentals and reason. Allah did not permit a wali to force her to sell or rent her property without her permission. Neither did He permit him to force her to eat or drink or wear that which she does not wish. How would He then oblige her to accompany and copulate with a person whose company she hates – at the time when Allah has sent between the two spouses love and mercy? If such company happens despite her hatred and repulsion, where is the love and mercy?

More Ahadiths proving that It is Prohibited to Marry woman without her will

Narrated AbuHurayrah: “The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: An orphan virgin girl should be consulted about herself; if she says nothing that indicates her permission, but if she refuses, the authority of the guardian cannot be exercised against her will. (Translation of Sunan Abu-Dawud, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 11, Number 2088)”

Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: ”The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Consult women about (the marriage of) their daughters. (Translation of Sunan Abu-Dawud, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 11, Number 2090)”

Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: ”A virgin came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (peace be upon him) allowed her to exercise her choice. (Translation of Sunan Abu-Dawud, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 11, Number 2091)”

Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: ”The Prophet (peace be uponhim) said: A guardian has no concern with a woman previously married and has no husband, and an orphan girl (i.e. virgin) must be consulted, her silence being her acceptance. (Translation of Sunan Abu-Dawud, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 11, Number 2095)”

[post this Article on your facebook wall,and share with friends.click above “Share” button …]

Bookmark and Share

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

[where ever you post,please add source link.either in website or even in facebook NOTE…please….spread the link of site..]

line1

Note:I’d love to see who visit my website,your views about website. Click here to leave your feedback.

line1


In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

Wedding Ceremony In Islam – Customs, Rituals & Traditions

Written By Prinxess *IM*


Prophet Muhammad (peace be Upon Him) said:

‘The worst of the feasts are those marriage feasts to which the rich are invited and the poor are left out”. (Mishkat)

It is recommended that Muslims attend marriage ceremonies and marriage feasts upon invitation. Prophet Muhammad (peace be Upon Him) said:

“…and he who refuses to accept an invitation to a marriage feast, verily disobeys Allah and His Prophet”. (Ahmad & Abu Dawood)

Marriage (nikah) is a solemn and sacred social contract between bride and groom. This contract is a strong covenant (mithaqun Ghalithun) as expressed in Quran 4:21). The marriage contract in Islam is not a sacrament. It is revocable.

Both parties mutually agree and enter into this contract. Both bride and groom have the liberty to define various terms and conditions of their liking and make them a part of this contract.

Mahr

The marriage-gift (Mahr) is a divine injunction. The giving of mahr to the bride by the groom is an essential part of the contract.

‘And give the women (on marriage) their mahr as a (nikah) free gift” (Quran 4:4)

Mahr is a token commitment of the husband’s responsibility and may be paid in cash, property or movable objects to the bride herself. The amount of mahr is not legally specified, however, moderation according to the existing social norm is recommended. The mahr may be paid immediately to the bride at the time of marriage, or deferred to a later date, or a combination of both. The deferred mahr however, falls due in case of death or divorce.

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Go and look for something even if it is a ring of iron.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5121) and Muslim (1425).

It is mustahabb to make the mahr simple and easy, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“The best of dowries is the simplest.” Narrated by al-Haakim and al-Bayhaqi and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ (3279). And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of marriage is the simplest.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ (3300).

Jaheez – Dowry Taking from Girl’s Father

it is not permissible to force the wife or her guardian to provide it, but if the wife takes it and then gives some of it to her husband or gives some of her wealth to him, it is permissible to her to do that, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allaah has made it lawful)”[al-Nisa’ 4:4].

Allah has made the man the protector and maintainer of the woman, and one of the reasons for that is that he spends on her. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisa’ 4:34].

Thus, asking about dowry and demanding high from girl’s side is one of the worse act i.e Dis-obeying Allah and rejecting the sunnah of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him. However its so sad, today we see in our islamic society many husband dislikes and torture their wife only for the reason of not getting the dowry from her. Such husbands or such In laws should fear Allah!

Sermon

The assembly of nikah is addressed with a marriage sermon (khutba-tun-nikah) by the Muslim officiating the marriage. In marriage societies, customarily, a state appointed Muslim judge (Qadi) officiates the nikah ceremony and keeps the record of the marriage contract. However any trust worthy practicing Muslim can conduct the nikah ceremony, as Islam does not advocate priesthood. The documents of marriage contract/certificate are filed with the mosque (masjid) and local government for record.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) made it his tradition (sunnah) to have marriage sermon delivered in the assembly to solemnize the marriage. The sermon invites the bride and the groom, as well as the participating guests in the assembly to a life of piety, mutual love, kindness, and social responsibility.

The Khutbah-tun-Nikah begins with the praise of Allah. His help and guidance is sought. The Muslim confession of faith that

‘There is none worthy of worship except Allah and Muhammad is His servant and messenger” is declared. The three Quranic verses (Quran 4:1, 3:102, 33:70-71) and one Prophetic saying (hadith) form the main text of the marriage.

This hadith is:

‘By Allah! Among all of you I am the most God-fearing, and among you all, I am the supermost to save myself from the wrath of Allah, yet my state is that I observe prayer and sleep too. I observe fast and suspend observing them; I marry woman also. And he who turns away from my Sunnah has no relation with me”. (Bukhari)

The Muslim officiating the marriage ceremony concludes the ceremony with prayer (Dua) for bride, groom, their respective families, the local Muslim community, and the Muslim community at large (Ummah)

Marriage (nikah) is considered as an act of worship (ibadah). It is virtuous to conduct it in a Mosque keeping the ceremony simple. The marriage ceremony is a social as well as a religious activity. Islam advocates simplicity in ceremonies and celebrations.

Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be upon Him) considered simple weddings the best weddings:

‘The best wedding is that upon which the least trouble and expense is bestowed”. (Mishkat)

Primary Requirements

  1. Mutual agreement (Ijab-O-Qubul) by the bride and the groom
  2. Two adult and sane witnesses
  3. Mahr (marriage-gift) to be paid by the groom to the bride either immediately (muajjal) or deferred (muakhkhar), or a combination of both

Secondary Requirements

  1. Legal guardian (wakeel) representing the bride
  2. Written marriage contract (“Aqd-Nikah) signed by the bride and the groom and witnesses by two adult and sane witnesses
  3. Qadi (State appointed Muslim judge) or Ma’zoon (a responsible person officiating the marriage ceremony)
  4. Khutba-tun-Nikah to solemnize the marriage

The Marriage Banquet (Walima)

After the consummation of the marriage, the groom holds a banquet called a walima. The relatives, neighbors, and friends are invited in order to make them aware of the marriage. Both rich and poor of the family and community are invited to the marriage feasts.

Keep The Marriage Simplest

Marriage is a major step in one’s life. It’s a matter of great responsibility that should by no mean be taken lightly. However, it shouldn’t be complicated to the point if one doesn’t have enough cash to hold an elaborate ceremony with hundreds of guests, one can’t get married.

Quite simply, a marriage in Islam is solemnized by a nikah (marriage contract) and a waleemah (marriage feast) that follows once the marriage has been consummated.

The nikah constitutes of a proposal from one party (eejab) and acceptance from another (qubool) in the presence of witnesses. The walimah is simply a dinner to celebrate the marriage, since marriage is, after all, a joyous occasion.

The nikah can be held at the local masjid or at home, while the walimah can be anywhere: one’s apartment, backyard, or basement, the local masjid, a park, a restaurant, a community center, or anywhere else.

As well, on the occasions of nikah and walimah, long speeches and an elaborate program are not required. Remember, simple is beautiful!

Nowadays, we seem to have been so caught up in rituals and customs that we tend to waste enormous amounts of money and time on things that simply aren’t needed. Nikah and walimah are both sunnahs (traditions) of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW), so doesn’t it make sense to try to commemorate these occasions in the same fashion as he did?

Anas (RA) describes one of the walimahs hosted by the Prophet (SAW):

“The Prophet stayed for three days at a place between Khaibar and Medina, and there he consummated his marriage with Safiyya bint Huyay (RA). I invited the Muslims to a banquet which included neither meat nor bread. The Prophet (SAW) ordered for the leather dining sheets to be spread, and then dates, dried yogurt and butter were provided over it, and that was the Walima (banquet) of the Prophet (SAW).” (Reported by Bukhari)

In another report, Anas (RA) says that the Prophet (SAW)

“gave a wedding banquet with Hais (a sort of sweet dish made from butter, cheese and dates).” (Reported by Bukhari)

There is nothing wrong with having an elaborate ceremony in a fancy banquet hall and full-course meal prepared by a caterer, but the fact of the matter is that neither of these are requirements for a successful marriage ceremony. If one wishes to hold the ceremony in a banquet hall with a full-course meal, that’s perfectly fine, but it shouldn’t be taken as a requirement.

I’m sure many of us loan large sums of money just so we can host fancy receptions for our weddings. Or even if we spend extravagant amounts of our own money, it’s sad because there are so many better uses for our hard-earned money. After all, the amount of money spent on the ceremony has no positive effect on the life of the couple.

The Prophet (SAW) is reported to have said:

“The marriage which is most greatly blessed is the one which is the lightest in burden [expense]. However, if people are well catered for, without extravagance and show, there is no problem with that either.” (Reported by Bayhaqi)

For sure, marriage an occasion to celebrate, but why waste enormous amounts of money on a celebration? It’s definitely not how our beloved Prophet Muhammad (SAW) celebrated. In fact, wasting Allah’s bounties is something Allah has warned us against:

“But waste not by excess: for Allah loves not the wasters.”(Quran, 6:141)

It can be difficult to swim against the tide of fancy and extravagant marriages, but surely, it’s worth swimming against the tides that go against Allah’s command and the example set by the Prophet (SAW).

Let’s save all that money and keep it for better uses. That money is sure to be in demand once the honeymoon is over and the actual daily routine sets in. If we do that with the right intention, we’ll end up saving money and at the same time, we’ll be adding to our good-deed account as well. After all, who can’t use some extra cash, some extra good deeds, and a greatly blessed marriage (since the most greatly blessed marriage is the one that lightest in expense)?

Allah subahanwa’tala said in Quran, Follow me and My Messanger if you love me, Allah will love you too! Why are we so hesitant and reluctant to follow what the greatest personality of this universe did?! Rather we blindly follow the stupid and pathetic traditions in our wedding ceremonies! The acts of Jahliya, the acts of  Shamelessness and the acts which leads to fitnah can never make your marriage successful and blessed!  Dont obey your culture or your desires, dont follow your society Rather obey and follow the Golden path shown by Allah and His prophet peace be upon him

:: For More Articles Related to marriage Click Here ::


[post this Article on your facebook wall,and share with friends.click above “Share” button …]

Bookmark and Share

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

[where ever you post,please add source link.either in website or even in facebook NOTE…please….spread the link of site..]

line1

Note:I’d love to see who visit my website,your views about website. Click here to leave your feedback.

line1


Subscribe & BookMark


Updates via FeedBlitz

Bookmark and Share

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Join 50,760 other followers

Subscribers and Followers

TwitterCounter for @islamg8religion

2200+ Subscribers via Wordpress.

Group / Community / Channel

Ramadan Important Articles

Smoking Haram in Islam

Music in Ramadan

8 Tips to finish Quran

Hot Ramadan Articles









Zakat Ul-Maal

Easy Good Deeds

8 tips to finish quran in Ramadan

How Prophet pbuh fasted ?

Last 10 days

Night prayers in Ramadan

Salat-al-Tawbah

What you can do in 10 minutes

What you can do in 1 minute ?

Biography of Muhammad s.a.w

Read Sealed Nectar :: Biography of Muhammad s.a.w

Read Sealed Nectar :: Biography of Muhammad s.a.w

Occupation 101-Movie

Important links

Top Rated

Download Holy Quran

List of Categories

Archives

Picture Gallery

Islamic Wallpapers!

eXTReMe Tracker <!-- var EXlogin='islamgr8' // Login var EXvsrv='s11' // VServer EXs=screen;EXw=EXs.width;navigator.appName!="Netscape"? EXb=EXs.colorDepth:EXb=EXs.pixelDepth;EXsrc="src"; navigator.javaEnabled()==1?EXjv="y":EXjv="n"; EXd=document;EXw?"":EXw="na";EXb?"":EXb="na"; EXd.write("");//-->

Users Visted till today ::

  • 20,293,975 hits

Site Status !

nettworkedblog

Islamic Links


Islam —- World’s Greatest Religion ! ? IS - Blogged

Religion Blogs - BlogCatalog Blog Directory


Blogged.com

Religion Blogs - Blog Rankings


You could put your verification ID in a
comment

Or, in its own meta tag

Or, as one of your keywords

Updates from Twitter!

Links



Gaza Under Attack Photos

Important Articles

web stat

Picture Gallery

Follow me on Twitter

%d bloggers like this: