True Story of Revert Muslimah :: My Journey To Islam !
Posted October 5, 2011on:
My Journey to Islam :: True Story Of Convert Muslimah
From Christinaty to Islam !
I’m a 25 yr female from Virginia, USA. I was born and raised in a Christian home. I used to live a very religious life and no one could break the love that I had for my God. Every chance I would get I was telling someone about the Lord. My family and I would attend a Brethren church on Sunday mornings and evenings, Wednesday nights, on Tuesday nights I would go with my father to make rounds of visitation to those who were lost, I worked with the youth, and on evenings when I was home from school then I would go out to nursing homes to sing and spread God’s word by song. But I felt that no matter how much I tried, I wasn’t as close to God as I wanted to be and always felt that part of me was missing. There were things that I didn’t understand but I chose to keep my faith because I was always told that it was wrong to question God and some things we weren’t supposed to have answers for.
In 2009 I married to a Canadian but he ended up abandoning me. Still I stood strong and had faith that God would repair my marriage and that one day my husband would come back to me. I pulled myself together and started taking part in the church more. I would devote myself more into reading my bible and would pray more to try to get direction from God of what he wanted me to do. I told God that if my marriage could not be saved then I would choose to remain single because I didn’t want to experience that type of hurt again or to please send me a God fearing man who love God more than me because this is what I needed in my life. I thought I had my purpose in life figured out. I was going on Facebook to Christian pages and chats where I would pray with others and was helping others who had been in the same situation. I was using my situation to build my relation with God and also helping others to hold on to their faith and not give up hope on God restoring their marriage….thinking that with my testimony and the stronger I would become would also help lead others to the Lord.
During my separation process, I was getting invites on Facebook where I had asked women and men to pray for me. I used to talk with a Christian lady very often about my marriage failing. One day she sent me an invite to an Islamic page on Facebook and also to the page of the admin. I waited three months to accept this request and after much pondering I finally did. One night I was on Facebook and the Muslim friend request I had accepted; I saw that the person was online. It was late and I was getting ready to head to bed and I was going back and forth wondering if I should say something to them. I had decided not to say anything but as I got ready to sign offline someone messaged me. He was a 26 yr old Egyptian Muslim. He was asking me had I ever heard about Islam and the Quran. I had heard of Islam but didn’t know anything about it. The only thing I knew it associated with was the 9/11 attacks, however I would never hold a whole religion responsible based on what few bad people did. That night he started telling me about it. I will talk about religion with anyone. I was trying to convert him to Christianity and he was trying to convert me to Islam, but I found that no matter what I would say he would always have a comeback for it and a better answer.
On the second day of chatting with him I asked if the Quran had ever been altered and he said no. This intrigued me and made me want to learn more because I knew that there are so many different versions of the bible as well as so many contradictions, and the thought of having a book sent by God where no altering had been done and millions have it memorized was just amazing to me. He would send me many links and files to look over. Online I would pull up Quran Explorer and read from there. I would read and as I would run upon things that I had questions about then he would answer and easily explain it to me. I also found that any previous questions I had in the past was answered by the Quran and made much more sense. Islam is a religion where everyone is united and following one path…it’s not like with Christianity where you have so many sects: Catholic Christian, Protestant, Baptist, Presbyterian, Brethren, and so forth.
He began to tell me about the prophets washing their hands, face, and feet before praying and pointed this out to me in the bible. The Muslim also showed me in the bible how Jesus (pbuh) and the other prophets used to prostrate. There were so many things he was pointing out to me, that as a Christian it made me question why other Christians weren’t following the teachings of the prophets the way that they should. I had so many things running through my mind and finally I asked myself
“Why am I following Christianity…Am I following it because I truly believe it to be right or am I following it just because it’s how I was raised and it’s the logical thing for me to do?”
Then I got to thinking about my life as a Christian. As a child it was easy for me to believe and follow the way I was raised because everything seems so innocent in the eyes of a child and they follow in the ways that their parents teach them. But thinking back on when I got older I was using music to feel a connection with God. Most churches seem to focus more on worshiping through music than spending more time reading the bible. Music has a huge role on our emotions so if you listen to a song about God and loving him, then it’s easy to say that you feel a connection, but this is wrong because there was no music around when God created the world. Other than when I was a child, using music was the only time I felt a connection with God.
When reading my bible I felt that I had no connection because there were so many things that made no sense to me and I couldn’t understand half of what I would read. There are many chapters with unknown authors, so I didn’t see it being logical for me to trust my soul and everlasting life at the hands of an unknown person. I couldn’t feel much of a connection through my prayers because I was raised to pray by saying
“My Heavenly Father or Dear God, and then finishing it with In Jesus Name”. Praying this way always confused me and made me feel that I was praying to two Gods, worshiping two people. I was taught that my God was a very jealous God, so the thought of starting off praying to God and asking things in the name of Jesus just confused me all throughout the years.
The idea of the trinity was just over my head and I said there is no way this can be. I never understood but as with everything else I was told to not question it. I could do good deeds and try my best to form a relation with God but I found that I was still slip in and out of sin and my soul was never satisfied. However, God gave us a mind for a reason so while talking with this Muslim I figured it was finally time for me to start using the mind that God gave me. Where I am from there are only Christians here and no Muslims so obviously for something new to be mentioned to others it is going seem strange and out of the norm. Just like non-Muslims seeing women with hijab on seems strange to them but what they fail to realize is that the bible talks about drawing in the outer garments. But for me, everything with Islam was just feeling so right to me and finally all of my questions were being answered.
I then begin to think of how I was raised to believe that Jesus (pbuh) died for my sins. I questioned the Christian belief of how all the righteous people in the Old Testament were “saved” and in heaven if Jesus wasn’t even born yet. I thought to myself “If Jesus was sent to save the world of their sins, then that meant that everyone went to hell that was on earth before he was born”. Christians keep saying that God had to send Jesus as a perfect sacrifice, but what need does God really have when God is the Almighty, who created everything?!
One day the Muslim asked me how I prayed. I said “I bow my head and fold my hands or just kneel down”. He said I want you to try something “Put your head on the ground like Muslims do when they pray”. At first I was kind of hesitant but I decided to go ahead and do so and immediately tears began to fall and this indescribable feeling came over me. I spent the night in prayer to God and a few days following that….in Dec of 2010 I converted.
Looking back on messages that I received from prayer for my marriage, I realized that most of the people on prayer pages I had clicked on asking them to pray for me was Muslim men and women. They had also sent me things but I was too busy with work and school that I never had time to watch the things that they had sent to me about the Prophet and other things about Islam. God had been trying to get my attention for a while but I missed the signs because of the pain from my marriage. As bad as it might sound I am thankful that my marriage didn’t last because he and I just were not good for each other and he was never truly worthy of having me, but most of all had it not been that my marriage failed then I wouldn’t have ever been on Facebook talking with the person who gave me the invite to the Muslim guy. Talking with the Muslim and learning about Islam was an eye opener for me, and becoming a Muslim is the best decision that I have ever made. I have faith that one day Allah will bless me with a righteous husband and our marriage will be built upon the right foundation and our love for Allah and obtaining Jannah, in sha’Allah.
We all go through trials and with each trial we are taught many things. This trial taught me how to truly follow and worship God and it has made me into a different woman. Being a muslimah is the greatest thing and it makes me feel like I am someone in this world and have something to strive for. It has taught me what living is all about and how to always be thankful and to never take anything for granted. It has transformed me into a beautiful person and I know that I will just continue to grow and come out strong.
Praying in the masjid for the first time was an amazing feeling. Every time I enter the masjid I have this feeling to come over me like no other. This year I was able to take part in my first Ramadan and Taraweeh Prayers. From the beginning until the end of the prayer I could not stop crying. I sat in the masjid observing everything around me and just feeling so much love from Allah and my heart and soul at so much peace…for the first time I knew that this is where I belong. I am the only Muslim in my community. The closest Muslims to me are almost an hour away and the closest masjid is two hours away. My family is having a hard time accepting it and some hurtful things have been said but one day I know that they will be proud that I became a Muslim. I also know that there is wisdom in the struggle and I will just continue to grow because of this.
To any non-Muslim reading this:
I pondered serious questions about my religion and relation with God that I had neglected to ask my whole life. Why would God give us a brain and then expect us to temporarily stop using it? Because that is what other religions asks people to do when they say you must just have faith..that is what you call blind faith. Islam has proof, many forms of it and when we stand before God on judgment day he is going to ask us where our proof is. In any trial where someone is being convicted there has to be proof against that person. By saying “I just believe that so and so did this” is not good enough which is in relation to blind faith. Islam truly is the great religion above all and it is the only way to Allah and to reaching Jannah. If you have never put your face and head to the ground, I ask you to please try this one time as this is the way of the prophets. Ask God where he wants you to be and if you pray with sincerity then God will lead you to the right direction. He knows those people who are honest and want the right way to him. I could go on and on about other things that I questioned and made me come to realize the right way to God. If you are reading this, it is not just a coincidence. Just like I being chosen to be a Muslim was not chance. I have a purpose in this world and in this life. I pray that Allah will use me to be a guide to others. If you are reading this then I ask Allah to awaken your soul and to guide you to the right path. Find the right way to Allah and you will find peace. Islam is the way of life.
“Whoever treads on a path in search of Islamic knowledge, Allah will ease the way to Paradise for him. The angels will lower their wings, pleased with this seeker of knowledge, and everyone in the heavens and on earth will ask forgiveness for the knowledgeable person, even the fish in the deepest of waters will ask for his forgiveness” [Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah, Tirmidhi # 2835-sahih hadith]
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