Posts Tagged ‘True Muslim’
How should a husband treat his wife?
Posted May 26, 2010
on:- In: All | Allah الله | Islam | Women In Islam
- 3 Comments
How should a husband treat his wife?
Look how Islam values women and how an Islam scholars perspective of women was back in 18th century, way before the womens basic rights were accepted around in the other countries of the world.
” Oh my friend, You have to be gentle, understanding and friendly to your wife. you have to talk with her in a polite and soft way and sweetness of words.
Our beloved Prophet[pbuh] said: The best of people is the one who is beneficial and helpful to his wife and his house members”.
when you found her sad and worried, you need to say you love her and you need to cheer her up with compassion as she might feeling depressed or hopeless at that time at home. You should be her best friend, her support in her troubles.
You should help her with the education of the children. The children will not give her a break and rest as they whine, cry, and ask for things day and night. If you help her, her Lord Allah will help you too.
About the mistakes she did, you must not get angry or say rude words. Even when you have to give her silent treatment, you should cut it after one day. when you discover a bad habit of hers or a behavior you did not like about her, you should find the fault in you and say:
“if I was a better person and had better behavior, she would be nicer, too”.
When she gets angry, you have to be silent. When you do not respond her, she would regret and apologize to you.
When she is helping, supporting and serving you, you should pray for her and you should thank and praise Allah since your wife, who is a good match for you, is a bounty by God that could never be thanked enough for.
You have to treat your wife in a way that she needs to think “my husband loves me more than anyone.”
About the household and financial issues, you have to consult her and talk together. You should not bother your wife with your other big troubles and issues. You need to ignore her bad behaviors unless they are forbidden by Allah, that is, unless she is committing a sin.
You have to hide her secret faults and her private matters from everybody. You should make compliments , appropriate jokes, and create entartainment for your wife.
Our beloved Prophet Muhammad[pbuh] would compliment, mingle and make jokes with his wife. He was the ultimate gentlemen and the most refined elegant person towards his wife. Once he had a race with his wife and his wife won, in the second time, he won.
Mild and pleasant conversations will bond you with your wife. You need to read each other about the basics and pillars of Islam, and other the necessary knowledge and sicences. You have to provide for her whatever you have for yourself in terms of clothing, food, and so on.
You should not reflect your troubles, problems, your sadness, enemies and your debts to her becuase even if she overcome these problems, these troubles will leave marks in her soul and affects her inner peace.
You should always say heartful of good praying to her face and her behind not ever bad prayers since she is always there for you and serving you day and night. She prepares your bread, your meal, mend and wash your clothess. She is the protector and manager of your dignity, honor, your properties, and your children . She is your best friend, your only support as you are to her, she is your love as you are her love.“
got it bros……..?
so married bro go tell ur wife today that you love her …. 🙂
and unmarried bros….remember this small Article Advice….and do it when you have ur partner…!
🙂
JazakAllah khair for reading…..
King
slave of ALLAH SWT
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How to make your Wife happy ?
Posted May 13, 2010
on:- In: All | Allah الله | Islam | Women In Islam
- 16 Comments
How to make your Wife happy ?
Beautiful Reception
After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you:
- Begin with a good greeting.
- Start with Assalamau ‘Aliaykum and a smile. Salam is a sunnah and a du’aa for her as well.
- Shake her hand and leave bad news for later!
Sweet Speech and Enchanting Invitations
- Choose words that are positive and avoid negative ones.
- Give her your attention when you speak of she speaks.
- Speak with clarity and repeat words if necessary until she understands.
- Call her with the nice names that she likes, e.g. my sweet-heart, honey, saaliha, etc.
Friendliness and Recreation
- Spend time talking together.
- Spread to her goods news.
- Remember your good memories together.
Games and Distractions
- Joking around & having a sense of humor.
- Playing and competing with each other in sports or whatever.
- Taking her to watch permissible (halal) types of entertainment.
- Avoiding prohibited (haram) things in your choices of entertainment.
Assistance in the Household
- Doing what you as an individual can/like to do that helps out, especially if she is sick or tired.
- The most important thing is making it obvious that he appreciates her hard work.
Consultation (Shurah)
- Specifically in family matters.
- Giving her the feeling that her opinion is important to you.
- Studying her opinion carefully.
- Be willing to change an opinion for hers if it is better.
- Thanking her for helping him with her opinions.
Visiting Others
- Choosing well raised people to build relations with. There is a great reward in visiting relatives and pious people. (Not in wasting time while visiting!)
- Pay attention to ensure Islamic manners during visits.
- Not forcing her to visit whom she does not feel comfortable with.
Conduct During Travel
- Offer a warm farewell and good advice.
- Ask her to pray for him.
- Ask pious relatives and friends to take care of the family in your absence.
- Give her enough money for what she might need.
- Try to stay in touch with her whether by phone, e-mail, letters, etc..
- Return as soon as possible.
- Bring her a gift!
- Avoid returning at an unexpected time or at night.
- Take her with you if possible.
Financial Support
- The husband needs to be generous within his financial capabilities. He should not be a miser with his money (nor wasteful).
- He gets rewards for all what he spends on her sustenance even for a small piece of bread that he feeds her by his hand (hadeith).
- He is strongly encouraged to give to her before she asks him.
Smelling Good and Physical Beautification
- Following the Sunnah in removing hair from the groin and underarms.
- Always being clean and neat.
- Put on perfume for her.
Intercourse
- It is obligatory to do it habitually if you have no excuse (sickness, etc.)
- Start with “Bismillah” and the authentic du’a.
- Enter into her in the proper place only (not the anus).
- Begin with foreplay including words of love.
- Continue until you have satisfied her desire.
- Relax and joke around afterwards.
- Avoid intercourse during the monthly period because it haram
- Do what you can to avoid damaging her level of Hiyaa (shyness and modesty) such as taking your clothes together instead of asking her to do it first while he is looking on.
- Avoid positions during intercourse that may harm her such as putting pressure on her chest and blocking her breath, especially if you are heavy.
- Choose suitable times for intercourse and be considerate as sometimes she maybe sick or exhausted.
Guarding Privacy
- Avoid disclosing private information such as bedroom secrets, her personal problems and other private matters.
Aiding in the Obedience to Allah
- Wake her up in the last third of the night to pray “Qiyam-ul-Layl” (extra prayer done at night with long sujood and ruku’ua).
- Teach her what you know of the Qur’an and its tafseer.
- Teach her “Dhikr” (ways to remember Allah by the example of the prophet) in the morning and evening.
- Encourage her to spend money for the sake of Allah such as in a charity sale.
- Take her to Hajj and Umrah when you can afford to do so.
Showing Respect for her Family and Friends
- Take her to visit her family and relatives, especially her parents.
- Invite them to visit her and welcome them.
- Give them presents on special occasions.
- Help them when needed with money, effort, etc..
- Keep good relations with her family after her death if she dies first. Also in this case the husband is encouraged to follow the sunnah and keep giving what she used to give in her life to her friends and family.
(Islamic) Training & Admonition
This includes:
- The basics of Islam
- Her duties and rights
- Reading and writing
- Encouraging her to attend lessons and halaqahs
- Islamic rules (ahkam) related to women
- Buying Islamic books and tapes for the home library
Admirable Jealousy
- Ensure she is wearing proper hijab before leaving house.
- Restrict free mixing with non-mahram men.
- Avoiding excess jealousy.
Examples of this are:
1- Analyzing every word and sentence she says and overloading her speech by meanings that she did not mean
2- Preventing her from going out of the house when the reasons are just.
3- Preventing her from answering the phone.
Patience and Mildness
- Problems are expected in every marriage so this is normal. What is wrong is excessive responses and magnifying problems until a marital breakdown.
- Anger should be shown when she exceeds the boundaries of Allah SWT, by delaying prayers, backbiting, watching prohibited scenes on TV, etc..
- Forgive the mistakes she does to you.
Correcting her Mistakes
- First, implicit and explicit advice several times.
- Then by turning your back to her in bed (displaying your feelings). Note that this does not include leaving the bedroom to another room, leaving the house to another place, or not talking with her.
- The last solution is lightly hitting (when allowable) her. In this case, the husband should consider the following:
He should know that sunnah is to avoid beating as the Prophet PBUH never beat a woman or a servant.
- He should do it only in extreme cases of disobedience, e.g. refusing intercourse without cause frequently, constantly not praying on time, leaving the house for long periods of time without permission nor refusing to tell him where she had been, etc..
- It should not be done except after having turned from her bed and discussing the matter with her as mentioned in Qur’an .
- He should not hit her hard injuring her, or hit her on her face or on sensitive parts of her body.
- He should avoid shaming her such as by hitting her with a shoe, etc.
Pardoning and Appropriate Censure
- Accounting her only for larger mistakes.
- Forgive mistakes done to him but account her for mistakes done in Allah’s rights, e.g. delaying prayers, etc..
- Remember all the good she does whenever she makes a mistake.
- Remember that all humans err so try to find excuses for her such as maybe she is tired, sad, having her monthly cycle or that her commitment to Islam is growing.
- Avoid attacking her for the bad cooking of the food as the Prophet PBUH never blamed any of his wives for this. If he likes the food, he eats and if he doesn’t then he does not eat and does not comment.
- Before declaring her to be in error, try other indirect approaches that are more subtle than direct accusations
- Escape from using insults and words that may hurt her feelings.
- When it becomes necessary to discuss a problem wait until you have privacy from others.
- Waiting until the anger has subsided a bit can help to keep a control on your words.
summary of the book “How to make your wife happy” by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed.
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- In: All | Allah الله | Islam | MC-Islam | Miss-Conception
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Non-Vegetarian food Makes Muslims Violent
Science tell us that whatever one eats, it has an effect on one’s behavior. Why then, does Islam allow Muslims to eat non-vegetarian food, since eating of animals could make a person violent and ferocious?
Answer:
1. Only eating of herbivorous animals allowed . I agree that, what a person eats has an effect on his behaviour. This is one of the reasons why Islam prohibits the eating of carnivorous animals like lion, tiger, leopard, etc. who are violent and ferocious. The consumption of the meat of such animals would probably make a person violent and ferocious.
Islam only allows the eating of herbivorous animals like cow, goat, sheep, etc. that are peaceful and docile. Muslims eat peaceful and docile animals because Muslims are peace loving and non-violent people.
2. The Qur’an says Prophet prohibits what is bad The Qur’an says:
“The Prophet commands them what is just and prohibits what is evil”.
“He allows them as lawful what is good (and pure) and prohibits them what is bad (and impure),” [Al-Qur’an 7: 157]
“So take what the Messenger assigns to you and deny yourselves that which he withholds from you.” [Al-Qur’an 59: 7]
For a Muslim, the Prophet’s statement is sufficient to convince him that Allah does not wish humans to eat some kinds of meat while allowing some other kinds.
3. Hadith of Mohammad (pbuh) prohibi-ting eating of carnivorous animals According to various authentic Ahadith narrated in Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim including hadith narrated by Ibn Abbas in Sahih Muslim, Book of hunting and slaughter, Hadith No. 4752 and Sunan Ibn-I-Majah chapter 13 Hadith no. 3232 to 3234, the Holy Prophet (pbuh) prohibited the eating of:
(i) Wild animals with canine teeth, i.e. meat eating carnivorous animals. These are animals belonging to the cat families such as lion, tiger, cats, dogs, wolfs, hyenas, etc.
(ii) Certain rodents like mice, rats, rabbits with claws, etc.
(iii) Certain reptiles like snakes, alligators, etc.
(iv) Birds of prey with talons or claws, like vultures, eagle, crows, owl, etc.
There is no scientific evidence that proves beyond doubt that eating non-vegetarian food makes one violent.
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- In: All | Allah الله | Islam | MC-Islam | Miss-Conception
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Muslims Worship Kaaba
Question:
When Islam is against idol worship why do the Muslims worship, and bow down to the Kaaba in their prayer?
Answer:
Kaaba is the Qibla i.e. the direction Muslims face during their prayers. It is important to note that though Muslims face the Kaaba during prayers, they do not worship the Kaaba. Muslims worship and bow to none but Allah. It is mentioned in Surah Baqarah: “We see the turning of thy face (for guidance) to the heavens: now shall We turn thee to a Qiblah that shall please thee. Turn then thy face in the direction of the Sacred Mosque: wherever ye are, turn your faces in that direction.”
1. Islam believes in fostering unity [Al-Qur’an 2:144] For instance, if Muslims want to offer Salaah (Prayer), it is possible that some may wish to face north, while some may wish to face south. In order to unite Muslims in their worship of the One True God, Muslims, wherever they may be, are asked to face in only one direction i.e. towards the Kaaba. If some Muslims live towards the west of the Kaaba they face the east. Similarly if they live towards the east of the Kaaba they face the west.
2. Kaaba is at the Centre of the World Map The Muslims were the first people to draw the map of the world. They drew the map with the south facing upwards and north downwards. The Kaaba was at the centre. Later, western cartographers drew the map upside down with the north facing upwards and south downwards. Yet, Alhamdullilah the Kaaba is at the centre of the world map.
3. Tawaf around Kaaba for indicating one God When the Muslims go to Masjid-e-Haram in Makkah, they perform tawaf or circumambulation round the Kaaba. This act symbolizes the belief and worship of One God, since, just as every circle has one centre, so also there is only one Allah (swt) worthy of worship.
4. Hadith of Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) Regarding the black stone, hajr-e-aswad, there is a hadith (tradition), attributed to the illustrious companion of the Prophet Muhammed (pbuh), Umar (may Allah be pleased with him). According to Sahih Bukhari, Volume 2, book of Hajj, chapter 56, H.No. 675. Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said, “I know that you are a stone and can neither benefit nor harm. Had I not seen the Prophet (pbuh) touching (and kissing) you, I would never have touched (and kissed) you”.
5. People stood on Kaaba and gave the adhaan At the time of the Prophet, people even stood on the Kaaba and gave the ‘adhaan’ or the call to prayer. One may ask those who allege that Muslims worship the Kaaba; which idol worshipper stands on the idol he worships?
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