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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

Women Rights in Islam – Modernizing or Outdated?

Taken from a Lecture by Dr Zakir Naik


According to the Oxford dictionary, ‘Women’s Rights are the rights, that promote a position of social and legal equality, of women to men’

According to the Oxford dictionary, ‘they are the rights, claimed for the women, equal to those of men, as regards to suffrage that right to vote, as regards to property, etc’.

‘Modernising’, according to the Oxford dictionary means, ‘to make modern, to adapt to modern needs or habits’.

And according to the Webster’s dictionary it means… ‘To make modern, or to give a new character or appearance – e.g., to modernise ones ideas’.

In short, modernising is a process of updating or opting for the betterment of the present status itself – It is not the present modern status itself.

Can we modernise ourselves, to master our problems, and to realize a new way of life, for the whole human race?

I am not concerned about the modern ideas, the conclusions and the categorical statements made by scientists and inexperienced armchair experts, as how a life should be lived by a woman.

I am going to base my conclusions and considerations on truth, which can be proved by experience.

Experience and unbiased factual holistic analysis, are the sure test, between the gold of truth, and the glitter of theory.

We have to check our thinking against reality, otherwise many a times, our mental process will go astray – Indeed the great brains of one time, believed that the world was flat.

Women Rights in the West

If we agree with the ‘Women’s rights in Islam’, as portrayed by the Western media, you have no option, but to agree that the ‘Women’s rights in Islam’ are outdated.

The Western talk of women’s liberation, is actually a disguised form of exploitation of her body, deprivation of her honour and degradation of her soul.

The Western society which speaks of upgrading the status of women in Islam, have actually reduced her status to concubines, to mistresses, to society butterflies, which are mere tools in the hands of sex marketers and pleasure seekers, which are disguised behind the colorful screen of art and culture.

Women Rights in Islam

Islam’s radical revolutionary support, gave women their due right and status in the days of ignorance… 1,400 years ago.

Islam’s objective was and continues to be, to modernise our thinking, our living, our seeing, our hearing, our feeling and striving for the women’s upliftment and emancipation in the society.

Before I dwell further with the topic, I would like you to make note of a few points.

  • Approximately one fifth of the world’s population, consists of Muslims. There are different Muslim societies – Some may be close to Islam, some may be far away from Islam.
  • The ‘Women’s rights in Islam’ should judged according to the authentic sources, and not what individual Muslims do, or what the Muslim society does.
  • The authentic sources of Islam, are the Qur’an, which is the word of God, and the authentic Sunnah, and the traditions of our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him).
  • Qur’an will never contradict itself, nor will the authentic Hadith contradict itself… neither will these two authentic sources, contradict each other.
  • Sometimes the scholars differ, and many a times, these differences can be removed by analyzing the Qur’an as a whole, and not just by quoting one particular Verse. Because if one particular verse of the Qur’an is ambiguous many a times the answer is given somewhere else in the Qur’an – Some people quote one source and neglect all the other sources.
  • It is the duty of every Muslim, male or female, to seek the pleasure of God, and to act as His trustee on this world, and not to try and gain fame or satisfy one’s own ego.

Islam believes in equality of men and women – ‘Equality’ does not mean ‘identicality’.

In Islam, the role of a man and woman is complimentary, it is not conflicting. It is that of a partnership, it is not contradictory, so as to strive for supremacy.

Where ‘Women’s rights in Islam’ is concerned, I have divided it into 6 broad categories.

Six Categories of Women Rights in Islam

The first are ‘the Spiritual rights’, second are ‘the Economical rights’, third are ‘the Social rights’, fourth are ‘the Educational rights’, fifth are ‘the Legal rights’, and last are ‘the Political rights’.

Sex is Not the Criteria to Enter Paradise:

The greatest misconception that the West has about Islam, is that they think… ‘Paradise in Islam, is only meant for the male – it is not meant for the female’.

This misconception can be removed by quoting from Surah Nisa, Ch. No. 4, Verse No 124, which says, ‘If any of you do deeds of righteousness, whether it be male or a female and has faith, they shall surely enter Paradise and not the least injustice shall be done to them’

A similar thing is repeated in Surah Nahl, Ch.16, Verse No.97 which says…

‘If any of you perform good deeds, be it a man or a woman and is a believer, We shall give you good life and We should reward you for all your good works’.

Just because in Islam, sex is not the criteria to enter Paradise, will you call such rights in Islam as modernising or outdated?

A. Spiritual Rights of Women in Islam

Another misconception is that, which the Western media has, that, ‘The woman has no soul’.

In fact, it was in the seventeenth century, when the Council of wise men, when they gathered at Rome, and they unanimously agreed that the woman had no soul.

In Islam, man and woman have the same spiritual nature. It is mentioned in Quran, Ch.4, Verse No.1, which says that, ‘O humankind reverence your Guardian Lord, who has created you from a single person and created like nature his mate’.

A similar thing is mentioned in Surah Nahl, Ch.16, Verse No.72, which says that, ‘We have made for you companions and mates of your own nature’.

In Surah Al-Shura, Ch.42, Verse No.11, it says, ‘He is the one who has created the heavens and the earth and has made for you pairs from among yourselves’.

Just because the spiritual nature of a man and woman is the same in Islam, will you call such rights in Islam, as modernizing or outdated?

The Qur’an clearly mentions that, ‘God has breathed somewhat of His spirit into the human beings’.

If you read Surah Hijr, Ch.15, Verse No.29, it says, ‘When I have fashioned you in due proportion and have breathed into you something of my spirit, fall you down in obeisance’.

A similar thing is repeated in the Qur’an, in Surah Sajdah, Ch. 32, Verse No.9, which says, ‘Then He fashioned him and breathed into him of His Spirit…’.

Here, when God refers to as ‘Something of My Spirit, is breathed into the human beings’ – it does not mean, a sort of incarnation or a pantheistic form.

It means that Allah has given to every human being something of His spiritual Nature, and the Knowledge of God Almighty, and coming closer towards Him.

Here it refers to both Adam and Eve (may peace be upon them) – Both were breathed something of God’s Spirit.

Again we read in the Qur’an, that Allah has appointed the human being as His vicegerent, as His trustee, as is mentioned in Surah Isra, Ch.17, Verse No.70, which says, ‘We have honoured the children of Adam and bestowed on them special favours’.

Note, here all the children of Adam have been honoured, male as well as female.

There are some Religious scriptures, for example the Bible, which puts the blame on Eve for the downfall of humanity.

In fact if you read the Qur’an in Surah Araf, Ch.7, Verse No.19 to 27, Adam and Eve (may peace be upon them both) are addressed, more than a dozen of times.

Both disobeyed God, both asked for forgiveness, both repented, and both were forgiven.

In the Bible, if you read Genesis, Ch. 3, only Eve is held responsible (May peace be upon her) for the downfall of humanity.

And according to the doctrine of ‘Original Sin’, because of Eve (may peace be upon her) the whole of humanity is born in sin.

Does Pregnancy Uplift the Women or Degrade?

If you read the Bible in Genesis, Ch. 3, Verse No.16, it says that,

‘To the woman He (God) said, “I will greatly multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children, yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”‘

That means, pregnancy and child birth has been said in the Bible to degrade the women and the labour pain is a sort of punishment.

In fact if you read the Qur’an, pregnancy and child birth have uplifted the women.

If you read Surah Nisa, Ch.4, Verse No.1, it says, ‘Respect the womb that bore you’.

Its mentioned in Surah Luqman, Ch.31, Verse No.14, it says, ‘We have enjoined on the human being to be kind to the parents, in travail upon travail did their mother bore them and in years twain was their weaning’.

A similar thing is mentioned in Surah Ahqaf, Ch.46, Verse No.15, it again repeats, which says, ‘We have enjoined on the human beings to be kind to his parents’.

To be kind to the parents – in pain did their mother bore them, and in pain did she give them birth – Pregnancy in the Qur’an has uplifted the women not degraded her.

Just because pregnancy has uplifted the women in Islam will you call such rights in Islam as modernizing or outdated?

Criteria in the Sight of God to Judge Male and Female:

The only criteria for judgment in the sight of Allah is ‘Taqwa’, ‘God consciousness’ or ‘righteousness’.

It is mentioned in Surah Hujurat, Ch.49, Verse No.13 ‘O humankind, We have created you from a single pair of male and female and have divided you into nations and tribes, so that you shall recognize each other not that you despise each other and the most honored in the sight of God, is the one who is the most righteous’.

Sex, colour, caste, wealth has got no criteria in Islam – The only criteria in the sight of God is ‘righteousness’, neither is sex the criteria for God to reward or to punish a person.

If you read Surah Imran Ch.3 Verse No.195 it says ‘I will never suffer the loss of any of you, be it male or female, you are companions unto each other’.

Equal Moral Duties for Men and Women:

I had started my talk by quoting a verse from the Qur’an from Surah Al Ahzab, Ch.33, Verse No.35, which says,

‘For Muslim men and Muslim women,
for believing men and women,
for devout men and women,
for true men and women,
for men and women who are patient and constant,
for men and women who give in charity,
for men and women who fast and deny themselves,
for men and women who guard their chastity,
for men and women who engage much in God’s praise,
God has prepared for them forgiveness and a vast reward.’

This verse indicates that the spiritual duties, the moral duties, for the men and women in Islam are the same – Both have to believe, both have to pray, both have to fast, both have to give in charity, etc, etc.

But the women has been given certain concession in Islam.

If she is undergoing her menstrual period or pregnancy, she does not have to fast – She can keep those fasts later on, when she is more healthy.

During the menstrual period and during the postnatal period, she needs not pray also – she has been given the concession, and neither does she have to compensate it later on.

Just because the moral duties of the men and women are equal in Islam will you call such rights in Islam as modernizing or outdated?

B. Economical Rights to the Women

Islam gave economical rights to the women 1,300 years before the West.An adult Muslim woman can own, she can dispose or disown any of her property without consulting any one, irrespective whether she is married or she is single.

In 1870, it was the first time in England, that the West recognized the rights of the married woman, where she was allowed to own or dispose any of her property without consultation.

I do agree that the women were given their economical rights 1300 years ago – these are ancient rights – but the question is – ‘are they modernizing or outdated?’

Women on Job:

A women in Islam, if she wishes to work she can work – There is no text in the Qur’an or the authentic Hadith which prevents or makes it prohibited for a woman to do any work, as long as it is not unlawful, as long as it is within the preview of the Islamic Shariah, as long as she maintains her Islamic dress code.

But natural, she cannot take up jobs, which exhibit her beauty and body – Like for example, modeling and film acting, and such kind of jobs.

Many of the professions and jobs which are prohibited for the woman are also prohibited for the man, for example serving alcohol, working in gambling dens, doing any unethical or dishonest business. All these jobs are prohibited for both men and women.

A true Islamic society requires women to take up profession such as doctors.

We do require female Gynecologists, we do require female nurses, we do require female teachers.

But, a woman in Islam has got no financial obligations – The financial obligation is laid on the shoulders of the man in the family – Therefore she need not work for her livelihood.

But in genuine cases, where there are financial crisis in which both the ends do not meet, she has the option of working.

Here too, no one can force her to work – She works out of her own, absolute free will.

Financial Security for Women:

A woman in Islam has been given more financial security, as compared to the man.

As I told you earlier, the financial obligation is not put on her shoulder – It is put on the shoulder of the man in the family. It is the duty of the father or the brother, before she is married and the duty of the husband or the son, after she is married to look after her lodging, boarding, clothing and financial aspects of her.

Compulsory Marital Gift for a Woman:

When she gets married, she is on the receiving end.

She receives a gift – she receives a dower or a marital gift, which is called as ‘Meher’.

And it is mentioned in the Qur’an in Surah Nisa, Ch.4 Verse No.4 which says, ‘Give to the woman in dower, a marital gift’.

For a marriage to solemnize in Islam, ‘Meher’ is compulsory.

But unfortunately in our Muslim society here, we just keep a nominal ‘Meher’ to satisfy the Qur’an, say 151 Rupees, or some people give 786 Rupees and they spend lakhs and lakhs of Rupees on the reception, on the decoration, on the flowers, on the lunch parties, on the dinner parties.

In Islam, there is no lower-limit, nor is there an upper limit for ‘Meher’ – But when a person can spend lakhs of Rupees on the reception, surely the ‘Meher ’ should be much more.

There are various cultures which have crept into the Muslim societies, specially in the Indo-Pak area.

They give a small amount of ‘Meher’ and they expect the wife to give a fridge, to give a T.V set, they expect the wife to give an apartment, to give a car, etc., and a large sum of dowry, depending upon the status of the husband.

If he is a graduate, they may expect 1 lakh – If he is an engineer they may expect 3 lakhs – If he is a doctor they may expect 5 lakhs.

Demanding dowry from the wife, directly or indirectly is prohibited in Islam.

If the parents of the girl give the girl something out of their own free will, it is accepted – But demanding or forcing directly or indirectly, it is prohibited in Islam.

No Financial Liabilities:

If a Woman works, which she does not have to – whatever earning she gets, it is absolutely her property.

She need not spend on the household – if she wants to spend it is her free will.

Irrespective how rich the wife is, it is the duty of the husband to give lodging, boarding, clothing and look after the financial aspects of the wife.

In case of divorce or if a wife gets widowed, she is given financial support for the period of ‘Iddah’ – and if she has children, she is also given child support.

Right to Inherit:

Islam gave the right to the women to inherit, centuries ago.

If you read the Qur’an – in several verses, in Surah Nisa, in Surah Baqarah and in Surah Maidah, it is mentioned that a woman, irrespective she is a wife or she is a mother, or a sister, or a daughter, she has a right to inherit. And it has been fixed by God Almighty in the Qur’an.

C. Social Rights of Women in Islam

Broadly it can be categorized into four sub-headings. Social rights given to a daughter, to a wife, to a mother and to a sister.

Social Rights to a Daughter:


Islam prohibits, female infanticide. The killing of female children is forbidden in Islam. It is mentioned in Surah Taqveem, Ch. 81, Verse No. 8 and 9,

‘when the female child is buried alive and when she questions you, for what crime was she killed’. Not only female infanticide has been prohibited, all sorts of infanticides has been prohibited in Islam, whether it be a male child or a female child. It is mention in the Qur’an in Surah A’nam Ch.6, Verse No.151 that, ‘Kill not your children for want of sustenance for it is God that will provide sustenance for you and for children’. A similar thing is mentioned in Surah Isra, Ch.17 Verse No.31 which says… ‘Kill not your children for want of sustenance, for it is God that will provide sustenance to you and your children, for killing of children is a major sin’.

In the pre-Islamic Arabia, whenever a female child was born mostly she was buried alive. Alhamdullillah, after the spread of Islam this evil practice has been discontinued. But unfortunately it still continues in India – According to a BBC report, in the programe assignment the title of which was ‘Let Her Die’, there was a British reporter by the name of Emily Beckenen, who came all the way from Britain to India to give us the statistics of the female infanticide. In that programe, it gives the statistics, that every day more than 3,000 fetuses are being aborted on being identified that they are females. If you multiply this figure by the number of days, that is multiplied by 365, you get a figure of more than one million female fetuses are being aborted every year in our country. And there are big hoarding and posters in states like Tamil Nadu and Rajasthan, which says spend 500 Rupees and save 5 lakh Rupees.

What does it mean? – That spend Rupees 500 on medical examination like Aminocententus or Ultra Sonography, and identify the gender of child. If it is a female you can abort it and you’ll save 5 lakh Rupees – How? The couple of lakhs you spend on upbringing her and the remaining lakhs of Rupees you spend on giving dowry to the man who will marry her (a custom in India). According to the report of the Government Hospital of Tamil Nadu – ‘out of every 10 female children that are born, four are put to death’ – No wonder the female population in India is less than the male population. Female infanticide was continuing in India since centuries – If you analyze the statistics of the 1901 census, for every 1000 males there were 972 females. According to the 1981 statistics and census, it tells you for every 1000 males you have 934 females. And the latest statistics of 1991 tells you that for every 1000 males you have 927 females. You can analyze that the female ratio is dropping every year – And since science and medicine has advanced, it has helped in this evil practice. Just because Islam tells you that you should not kill any children whether it be male or female will you call these rights in Islam as modernizing or outdated?

Qur’an not only prohibits female infanticide, it rebukes at the thought of you rejoicing at the birth of a male child and getting saddened at the birth of a female child. In Islam, a daughter should be brought up correctly. In Islam, there should be no partiality in upbringing of the daughter or the son. According to a Hadith, ‘In the presence of the Prophet Muhammad, once a man kissed his son and placed him on his lap but did not do the same to his daughter. The Prophet immediately objected and said that you are unjust – You should have even kissed your daughter and placed her on the other lap’.

Social Rights to Wife:

All the previous civilizations, they have considered the women to be an ‘instrument of the devil’.

The Qur’an refers to the women as ‘Mohsana’, that is a ‘fortress against the devil’.

And if a woman, who’s good, marries a man, she prevents him from going on the wrong path.

There’s a Hadith in which Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) he said that, ‘there is no monasticism in Islam’ .

And again according to Sahih Bukhari, Volume No. 7, Ch. No. 3 Hadith No 4 it says that ‘the Prophet Muhammad ordained the young men, all those who have the means to marry, they should marry – For it will help them to guard their gaze and guard their modesty.

The Qur’an say’s that, ‘We have put love into the hearts of the husband and wife’.

If you read Surah Rum, Ch. 30, Verse No. 21 it says that, ‘And amongst our signs We have created for you mates or companions, so that you may dwell in them in tranquillity and we have put love and mercy between your hearts’.

According to Surah Nisa, Ch.4, Verse No.21, marriage is considered as a strong agreement, a strong contract.

According to Surah Nisa, Ch.4, Verse No.19, it says, ‘You are prohibited to inherit women against their will’ – Means, to marry the permission of both the parties are required.

It is compulsory that the man and women both should agree to marry. No one – not even the father can force their daughter to marry against her wishes.

There’s a Hadith in Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 69, which says ‘that a lady she was forced by her father to marry against her wishes’ – And she went to the Prophet and the Prophet invalidated the marriage’.

Another Hadith in Ibn-e-Humbal, Hadith No. 2469, it says ‘that a daughter was forced by her father to get married – And when the daughter approached the Prophet, the Prophet said you can either continue, or if you wish you can invalidate the marriage.

That means, the consent of both the male and the female is required.

In Islam, a women is considered as a homemaker – She is not considered as a housewife, because she is not married to the house.

Many people use terminology, without understanding what it means – ‘Housewife’ means ‘you are the wife of the house’.

So I believe, from now onwards the sisters would prefer calling themselves ‘homemakers’, than ‘house wives’, if they are occupied more in the home.

In Islam, a woman, she is not married to a master that she should be treated like a slave – She is married to it is equal.

And there is a Hadith which says in Ibn-Hambal – Hadith No 736, 7396. It says that, ‘the most perfect of the believers are those that are best in character and behavior, and those that are best to their family and their wives’.

Islam gives equal rights to the man and woman. Qur’an clearly mentions that men and women, husband and wife have equal rights in all aspects, except leadership in the family.

It is mentioned in the Qur’an in Surah Baqarah Ch.2, Verse No.228. It says that, ‘…the women have been given rights similar against them (men) on equitable terms but the men have a degree higher…’.

Most of the Muslims have misunderstood this verse, when it says ‘a men have a degree higher’ – As I said we should analyze the Qur’an as a whole. And its mentioned in Surah Nisa, Ch. 4, Verse No.34 which says, ‘The men are the protectors and maintainers of the women, for God has given one of them more strength than the other and they give them their means’.

People say the word ‘Kawwam’ means, ‘one degree higher in superiority’ – But actually the word ‘Kawwam’ comes from the root word ‘Ikamah’. ‘Ikamah’ means for example ‘when you give the Ikamah before prayers – You stand up’.

So ‘Ikamah’ means to standup – so the word ‘Kawwam’ means one degree higher in responsibility, not one degree higher in superiority.

Even if you read the commentary of ‘Ibne-Kathir’ – He says that the word ‘Kawwam’ means one degree higher in responsibility, not one degree higher in superiority.

And this responsibility, should be carried out by mutual consent of both husband and wife.

It is mentioned in Surah Baqarah, Ch.2, Verse No.187, which says, Which means… ‘Your wives are your garments, and you are their garments’.

What’s the objective of garments – It is used to conceal and to beautify.

The husband and wife, should conceal each others faults, and they should beautify each other – Its a relationship of hands and gloves.

The Qur’an mentions that, ‘even if you do not like your wife, you should treat her kindly’.

It is mentioned in Surah Nisa, Ch.4, Verse No.19, that, ‘…consort with them (your wives) in kindness, for if you hate them it may happen that you hate a thing wherein God has placed much good.

Even if you dislike your wife you have to treat her kindly and with equity

Just because the rights of a wife are equal to those of the husband in Islam, will you call such rights in Islam as modernizing or outdated?

Social Rights to a Mother:

The only thing above respect to Mother, is the worship of God – It is mentioned in: Ch.17, Verse No.28-29, It says that…

‘God has ordained for you, that you worship none but Him, and to be kind to your parents. And if any one or both of them reach old age do not say a word of contempt or repel them but address them with honour, and speak to them with kindness, and lower your wing of humility and pray to God – ‘My Lord! bless them as they have cherished me in childhood’. Surah Nisa, Ch. No. 4, Verse No. 1 says, ‘Respect the womb that bore you’. Surah A’nam, Ch.6, Verse No.151, says that, ‘You have to be kind to your parents’. Surah Luqman Ch.31, Verse No.14, says that, ‘We have enjoined on the human beings to be kind to his parents. In travail upon travail, did their mother bore them and in years twain was their weaning’. A similar thing is repeated again in Surah Ahqaf, Ch.46, Verse No.15, that… ‘We have enjoined on the human beings to be kind to his parents. In pain did their mother bore them and in pain did she give them birth’.

Another Hadith related in Sahih Bukhari in Volume 8, Ch. No. 2 Hadith No. 2, as well as in Sahih-Muslim – It says that a man asked the Prophet Muhammad…

‘Who requires the maximum love and respect and my companionship in this world? The Prophet replied – ‘your mother’ ‘Who is next’? – ‘your mother’ ‘Who is next?’ – ‘your mother’ The man asked for the fourth time, – ‘Who is next’ The Prophet replied ‘your father’. So 75% of the love and respect goes to the mother and 25% of the love and respect goes to the father. Three fourth of the better part of the love and respect goes to the mother – One fourth of the remaining part of the love and respect goes to the father.


Social Rights to a Sister:

According to Surah Tawbah, Ch. 9, Verse No.71, it says that, ‘The men and the women they are friends of each other’.

Prophet Muhammed (may peace be upon him) he said, ‘The women are the ‘Shakat’ -‘Shakat’ means sister’.

D. Educational Rights to a Woman

The first 5 verses which were revealed in the Qur’an were from Surah Alaq, or Surah Iqra, Verse No. 1 to 5 which says:

‘Read, recite or proclaim in the name of your Lord, Who has created the human beings from a congealed clot of blood (a leech like substance).

Read, your Lord is most bountiful.

Who has taught the use of the pen.

Who has taught the human beings that which he knew-not’.

The first guidance given in the Qur’an to the humankind was not to pray, was not to fast, was not to give charity – It was read – Islam pays utmost importance to education.

Education is Compulsory in Islam:

According to Quran:

  • God will exalt those of you who believe and those who are given knowledge to high degrees. (58:11)
  • And say, O my Lord! increase me in knowledge. (20:114)
  • And whoever is is given knowledge is given indeed abundant wealth. (2:269)
  • According to a saying of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) “It is obligatory for every Muslim, male or female, to acquire knowledge (Al-Bayhaqi).
  • Imagine, 1400 years ago, when the women were ill treated and were only used as property, Islam asked the women to be educated. Because Islam tells that every woman should be educated, – Will you call such women’s right’s in Islam as modernizing or outdated?

E. Legal Rights to a Woman

According to the Islamic law, men and women are equal – The Islamic Law protects the life and property of a man and woman both. If a man murders a woman he too will receive the capital punishment of ‘Kisaas’. According to the Islamic law of ‘Kisaas’, men and women – irrespective the injury be of the eye, of the nose, of the ear, of the body – both receive equal punishment. And if the guardian of the murderer, even it be a woman – If she says, that forgive the murderer and she accepts ‘Dia’, that is compensation – her opinion cannot be rejected – they have to accept it. And if there’s difference of opinion between the relatives of the person whose murdered – And some say that the murderer should be killed and some say that he should be forgiven and ‘Dia’ should be accepted – people should prevent the relatives from killing that murderer. And irrespective whether the witness or the opinion is given by a man or woman, it has same weight. According to Surah Maida, Ch.5, Verse No.30 – It says… ‘As to the thief, whether he be man or a woman, cut off his or her hand as a punishment for his crime, an example from God’. Means, if a person robs, irrespective whether he is a man or a woman his or her hands should be chopped – The punishment is the same. According to Surah Nur, Ch.24, Verse No.2, it says ‘If any commits fornication, be it a man or a woman, flog them with 100 stripes’. The punishment for fornication in Islam irrespective whether it is a man or a woman, it is the same – Flogging with 100 stripes. The punishment for men and women, is the same in Islam. In Islam a woman is allowed to give witness Imagine, Islam gave right to a woman to be a witness, 14 centuries ago. Even now in as late as 1980, the Jewish Rabai, they were considering that whether the women should be given a right to act as a witness or not – And Islam gave that right 1400 years ago. Accord ing to Surah Nur, Ch.24, Verse No.4, it is said ‘If any of you put a charge against the chastity of a woman, produce 4 witnesses, and if they falter, flog them with 80 stripes’. In Islam for a small crime, you require 2 witness – for a big crime you require 4 witnesses. Accusing a woman falsely is a big crime in Islam, therefore you require 4 witnesses. Now a days you see in the modern society, you find men abusing women and calling them all sorts of name. They call them prostitutes etc, and nothing is done. In an Islamic state, if a man calls her a ‘prostitute’ in public or anywhere else, and if she takes that man to court – And if that man cannot produce 4 witnesses or even if he produces 4 witnesses and any one of them falter, all of them will receive 80 lashes each, and in future all their evidence will be rejected. Islam gives utmost importance to the chastity of the woman. When a lady marries, she normally adopts the name of her husband. In Islam she has the option of either keeping her husband’s name, either adopting the name of the husband, or maintaining her maiden name. And maintaining the maiden name is recommended in Islam – And we find in several Muslim societies that women, even after they get married they maintain their maiden name, because according to the Islamic law men and women are equal.Will you call such rights in Islam modernizing or outdated?

F. Political Rights of a Woman

According to Surah Tawba, Ch.9, Verse No.71, ‘The men and the women they are friends (supporters) of each other’. Supporters not only Socially – even Politically – Politically, men and women should support each other. Women can even take part in law making. And according to the famous Hadith in which Hazrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him), he was discussing with the Sahabas, and considering putting an upper limit on the ‘Meher ’, since young men were discouraged from getting married – a lady from the back seat she objected and said When the Qur’an says in Surah Nisa Ch.4, Verse No.20 that… ‘you can even give a heap of treasure, a heap of gold in ‘Meher’, when Qur’an puts no limit on ‘Meher’, who is Umar to put a limit (may Allah be pleased with him). And immediately Hazrat Umar (peace be upon him) said… ‘Umar is wrong and the lady is right’. Imagine, she was a common lady – If it would have been a famous lady, the name of the lady would be mentioned in the Hadith. Since the Hadith does not mention the name of the lady, we can understand that the lady was a common lady. Means, even a common lady can object to the ‘Khalifa’, the head of the state. And in technical terms it would be called that – ‘she is objecting to the breach of the constitution’,- because Qur’an is the constitution of the Muslims – That means a woman can even take part in law making.

Women have even taken part in the battle fields There is a full chapter in the Sahih Bukhari mentioning women in the battle field – Women gave water – they give first aid to the soldiers. Because the Qur’an says ‘Man is the protector of the ‘Woman’. Under normal circumstances, the women should not go to the battle field. It is the duty of the man. Only when required, under necessity are women allowed – and they should go to the battle field if they want. Otherwise you’ll have the same position as you are having in the USA.

Women in USA are Not Safe In USA women were allowed to join the battle since 1901 but they were not allowed to take active part – They only played the part of a nurse. Later on after the ‘Feminist Movement’ had started in 1973, the ‘Feminist movement’ demand ed – ‘Why aren’t women allowed to take active part in the battle field?’ So the American government allowed women to take active part in the battle field. And according to a report of the Defense Department of America, which was released on the 23rd of April, 1993 it said that, ‘90 people were sexually assaulted in a convention, out of which 83 were women and 117 officers were charged with in disciplinary action’. Imagine in one convention only, 83 women sexually assaulted. What was the crime of those 117 officers?

They made the women run and they snatched at their clothes. They made them parade absolutely nude without even covering the genital parts. They were made to have sex in public. Is this what you call ‘Women’s rights’? If you think that this is what is ‘Women’s right’, then you can keep your rights to yourselves. We do not want our sisters, our daughters our mothers to be sexually assaulted. And there was a uproar in the parliament and the President, Bill Clinton – he himself had to apologize publicly and he said, ‘Necessary action will be taken’. And you know when politicians say ‘necessary action will be taken, what happens. So Islam allows women to take part in the battle field only when required. But there also they should maintain their Islamic dress and the Islamic ethics, and their modesty.

USA Has One of the Highest Rates of Rape

United States of America is supposed to be one of the most advanced countries of the world. It also has one of the highest rates of rape in any country in the world. According to a FBI report, in the year 1990, every day on an average 1756 cases of rape were committed in U.S.A alone. Later another report said that on an average everyday 1900 cases of rapes are committed in USA. The year was not mentioned. May be it was 1992 or 1993. May be the Americans got ‘bolder’ in the following years.

Islamic Law Let’s Women Breathe Easily

Consider a scenario where the Islamic law is implemented in America. Whenever a man looks at a woman and any brazen or unashamed thought comes to his mind, he lowers his gaze. Every woman wears the Islamic dress as mentioned in Quran. After this if any man commits rape he is given capital punishment. I ask you, in such a scenario, will the rate of rape in America increase, will it remain the same, or will it decrease? If Islamic law is implemented in any part of the world, women will breathe easier.

Conclusion

Before I conclude, I’d like to give an example. As I said in the beginning of my talk, Islam believes in equality between men and women – Equality does not mean identicality.

Suppose in a classroom 2 students, student ‘A’ and ‘B’, during an examination both come out first – Both secure 80% marks – 80 out of 100. When you analyze the question paper, the question paper has 10 differ ent questions, each carrying 10 marks. In question 1 student ‘A’ got 9 out of 10, and student ‘B’ got 7 out of 10 – So in question 1 student ‘A’ was higher than student ‘B’. In question 2, student ‘A’ got 7 out of 10 and student ‘B’ got 9 out of 10 – Student ‘B’ was higher than student ‘A’ in question number 2. In question 3 both of them got 8 out of 10, both were equal. So when we add up the marks of all the ten questions, both student ‘A’ and ‘B’ got 80 out of 100. So in short, student ‘A’ and student ‘B’ are over all equal. In some questions ‘A’ is higher than ‘B’, in some questions ‘B’ is higher than ‘A’, in others both are equal. In the same fashion, taking the example that since God has given man more strength – Suppose a thief enters the house will you tell, ‘I believe in women’s rights – I believe in women’s rights’ – will you tell your mother, your sister and your daughter, to go and fight the thief?’ No, but natural you’ll fight him – If required they may interfere – Under normal circumstances since God has given you more physical strength, you have to go and tackle the thief. So here, in physical strength, man is one degree higher than the woman Let us take another example where it comes to respecting the parents – The children are supposed to respect the mother 3 times more than the father (as mentioned earlier). Here the women have one degree higher than the men – Over all both equal So Islam believes in equality, not identically – Men and women are over all equal in Islam. This was in brief, the highlights, of ‘the Women’s Rights in Islam’. After this what the Muslim society did is different – Many of the Muslim societies did not give the women their rights and they deviated away from the Qur’an and the Sunnah. The Western society is largely responsible for this – because of the Western societies, many Muslim societies have become over protective, over precautions and have gone to one extreme and deviated away from the Qur’an and the Sunnah.

On the other extreme, some of the Muslim societies turned to the Western culture, and followed their culture. I want to tell the Western society that if you analyze the women’s rights in Islam according to the Qur’an and the Sunnah – you will realize it is modernizing and not outdated.

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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

DEALING WITH NON-HIJABI SISTERS

 

It had been ten years since she had set foot in a mosque. Being at university had broadened her mind in many ways, one of them being her reconnecting with Islam.

She had begun praying five times a day a month ago, and now felt ready to pray in public, at the university’s Juma prayer.

She paused and stood a few feet away from the women’s entrance. Taking a deep breath, she pulled the silk scarf out of her purse and tied it carefully on her head. Her ponytail stuck out a bit. She smoothed the creases on her long-sleeved beige shirt and tugged at the bottom of it to make it longer over her pants.

The prayer was great. She had never felt this sense of inner peace.

Afterwards, she tried mingling with the sisters, but nobody even looked her way. A few of them even pretended not to hear her greeting. The only sister who did talk to her said in a huff:  You know your prayer is not accepted in those pants and that tiny thing you pass for a Hijab. I suggest you get more Islamic knowledge and dress properly before coming back here.

The words stung her like a million bumble bees. Too numb to respond or speak, she charged out of the hall. Never again would she associate with these people, she told herself.

And never again would she return to Juma.

Are you shocked reading about this incident? Don’t be. It has been a reality in almost every Muslim community in North America.

This harsh judgment and intolerance shown towards Muslim women who do not wear Hijab can lead to at least some Muslim women to become alienated from the Muslim community, and could lead to a loss of Islamic practice.

While Hijab is an obligation clearly ordained in the Quran and Sunnah, the above-mentioned method of its enforcement and encouragement is not Islamic, according to Muslim scholars, researchers and activists. Muslims have to start seeing the issue from a different perspective, they say.

SOME ARGUMENTS IN SUPPORT OF NON-HIJABI SISTERS

I would say that the overwhelming majority of Muslim women I have met who don’t cover and who believe in God, believe they should cover, but believe they’re not ready yet,  says Sharifa Alkhateeb, vice-president of the North American Council of Muslim Women, in an interview with Sound Vision.

This reality indicates there is a seed of faith that needs to be nurtured and encouraged. As well, it means these women need all the support they can get.

Abdalla Idris Ali is a member of the Islamic Society of North America’s (ISNA) Majlis Shura, which debates Islamic issues and establishes policy for the organization. He says what also has to be remembered is that many Muslim women are coming from cultures where the Hijab is not practiced, for whatever reason. These sisters should not be condemned. Rather, Islamic concepts like Hijab, should be explained to them.

Another possibility is that Muslim women who do not wear Hijab are coming from families which are either not practicing Islam, or are downright hostile to it.

In this situation,  it’s actually a celebration that a young Muslim woman wants to pray Juma, says Kathy Bullock, who started wearing Hijab two weeks after she converted to Islam.

I think that’s where the tolerance comes in.

Another reason some Muslim women may find Hijab difficult is because of the often negative ideas surrounding Hijab. For instance, that wearing Hijab kills marriage and job prospects. Muslim activists must seek to dispel such myths.

”There needs to be a lot more support for the women who decide to cover,” says Bullock, who completed a PhD. about The Politics of the Veil from the University of Toronto in January.

Bullock also gives a chilling warning to those who condemn non-Hijabi Muslim women: “We might be wearing Hijab but we might be doing something incredibly wrong which cancels out the reward [for wearing it].” One of these things she mentions is arrogance.

WHY ARE SOME MUSLIMS SO SENSITIVE ABOUT THE HIJAB?

Some Muslims seek to condemn non-Hijabis out of their understanding of the Quranic injunction of enjoining the good and forbidding the evil. Yet, they fail to take the right approach in doing it, in accordance with the example of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), which was one of kindness, gentleness and patience.

Interestingly, some Muslim men and women who criticize non-Hijabi Muslim women seem to have different reasons for doing it and varying ways of approaching a sister who does not wear Hijab.

“Unfortunately on the brothers’ side there is a push to make Hijab the marker of Islamic identity,” says Bullock. She also emphasizes the hypocrisy of many Muslim men criticizing Muslim women who do not wear the Hijab, while they themselves wear tight jeans or pants, or short shorts. These forms of dress are strictly prohibited for men in Islam. Yet, go to any Juma or Jamaah prayer, and these forms of unIslamic dress can be easily seen.

I think some of the men put too much emphasis on the women instead of looking at their own selves, she says.

However, Alkhateeb thinks most of the men are less vigilant than the women about Hijab, partly because they figure the women are going to take care of it.

She argues that the majority of the Muslim men who are over concerned about with the issue of Hijab because they don’t trust themselves sexually, and fear their own reaction to a woman who is not covered Islamically.

For women, weak self-identity and faith could explain the harshness shown towards non-Hijabi Muslimas.

It is so difficult to maintain the practice of covering, emotionally, psychologically on the job and in everyday life, you get so much negativity from other people that the reaction of most of the practicing women and activists is to develop a cocoon, a protective cocoon, and part of that protective cocoon is in continually, verbally and in other ways rejecting what is unlike yourself,  explains Alkhateeb.

“And that is to shore up your own self-identity. I think that part of the reason they are so negative is because this is part of shoring up their own self-identity and because there is a hidden fear that if they let down their guard that they’ll stop covering. And if they allow any space in their mind to alternative ways of thinking that their thinking will fall apart. And that means that the underlying precepts and concepts are not strong.”

WHERE DOES HIJAB FIT ON THE ISLAMIC LADDER?

“While it is correct to say that Hijab is correct in the teaching of Islam we tend to forget that there are many other basic issues, why the over obsession?” asks Jamal Badawi, a member of the North American Fiqh Council.

Part of the reason some Muslims treat non-Hijabis so harshly is because of their lack of understanding about where the obligation of Hijab ranks on the Islamic ladder.

A more correct approach would be gradual and would mean implementing more important aspects of Islam, like Iman (faith), and praying five times a day before moving on to requirements like Hijab.

We fail to see any Ayah (verse of the Quran) pertaining to Hijab in the entire Makkan revelation that was given to the Prophet, that’s almost 13 years. The injunctions about more detailed aspects relating to the righteous Muslim community were revealed during the Medinan period. Some in the middle, and later part of that period,  explains Badawi,

This is a revealing lesson for us because it shows that Allah knew in advance what injunctions He wanted to reveal,  he adds. Yet He delayed the revelation of those matters until many, many years of preparation on the level of Iman, submission to Allah, love of Allah and the sincere desire to voluntarily obey Allah and His Messenger. Once that base was established it wasn’t difficult at all for the believing women to willingly abide by the injunctions of Allah.

Badawi says this is similar to how the Islamic commandment forbidding intoxicants was introduced.

The same process of preparation took place to the point that when the final prohibition of intoxicants was revealed it wasn’t difficult for men to abide by that willingly and immediately. He explains this was especially difficult for Muslim men, who were the ones reported more likely to consume alcohol than women at that time.

Some well-intentioned Muslims seem to miss these lessons from the gradual revelation and become too legalistic to the point of doing more harm than benefit, notwithstanding their good intentions, adds Badawi.

WRONGLY USING THE “BASEBALL BAT” APPROACH TO THE HIJAB

Muslims gain a little bit of knowledge and they want to run around with a baseball bat and beat people over the head with religion. That’s exactly what [has] made many young people leave the mosque, says Alkhateeb.

Using the right method to tell Muslim women about Hijab is crucial, just as it is in advising Muslims to implement any other requirement of the faith.

In the Prophet’s whole life he led by encouragement not pressure,she says. The way he behaved is the opposite of how most Muslims who are practicing Muslims behave towards each other in terms of giving advice. His way was not carrying around a religious baseball bat.

The thinker and writer, who has also been an activist for the last 35 years points out the “baseball bat” methodology is in full swing when many Muslims encounter non-Hijabis.

Instead of inviting her and embracing her, they’re immediately trying to think about what they can criticize her about, says Alkhateeb.

The Prophet also did not use“vigilantes” to impose a religious requirement like Hijab.

When we deal with the Sunnah, we find that he never appointed vigilantes to go around to reinforce something that believing Muslim women were encouraged to do, or use any harsh words or actions to arrive at that desired situation or desired setting, says Badawi. “The approach that he followed which we should follow as our example was not to focus on issues like Hijab before Iman and psychological and spiritual preparation was in place.

Badawi stresses inviting to Hijab and other Islamic requirements should be done in a way “that would motivate people to respect the moral values of society rather than simply forcing them to do so. In fact that goes back to the definition of Islam which is willing trusting and loving submission to Allah and obedience to His Messenger.”

As an example, he cited an incident from the lifetime of the Prophet when a Bedouin man urinated in the mosque. When other Muslims saw this, they became very angry and wanted to rebuke him harshly.

The Prophet on the other hand, stopped them and told the man gently what he was doing was incorrect.

That story is a classic example of the contrast between the attitudes of some well-intentioned Muslims who want to correct the wrong immediately and by any means and the approach of the Prophet of kindness, gentleness, persuasion and wisdom,” he explains.

TEMPORARILY TOLERATING THE WRONG: A RULE OF USUL AL-FIQH

The other aspect which is frequently missed is another rule of ordaining the good and forbidding the evil which was addressed by many scholars especially by the famous Shaykh ul Islam Ibn Taymiyyah,” says Badawi. “The rule basically is that if in a given situation, attempting or trying to forbid the wrong may result in greater harm than benefit, then it is better to tolerate the wrong on a temporary basis.

I think the classic example that Ibn Taymiyyah is referred to is when the Tatars invaded Muslim lands, explains Badawi. He was told that some of these soldiers were drinking and that they should be stopped because this is part of forbidding the wrong yet, he advised that they should be left alone. His reasoning was that if those soldiers become sober, they might go on killing more people which is a greater harm than drinking.

This is not a new rule, he emphasizes. It is a basic rule in Usul al-Fiqh, the roots of Islamic law, that if some harm is inevitable then it is better to tolerate the lesser harm in order to prevent great harm.

Badawi demonstrates how this rule could apply to a situation where a Muslim sister who does not wear Hijab attends Juma prayer.

For example, if that sister is approached in a harsh way she may not come again which could hurt her and hurt the community at large. But if she’s welcomed first and there’s demonstration of brotherhood and friendship, then in a gentle and wise way that is suitable for her, she can be encouraged, then of course it would be a far better result than the confrontational, harsh approach.

INVOLVING NON-HIJABI SISTERS IN ACTIVITIES

It’s only by mixing in the right company that someone who is contemplating Hijab will have the strength and courage to make the final act, says Bullock.

This means women offering friendship, as well as involving the sisters in Islamic activities through organizations like Muslim Students’ Associations. Bullock notes that if a Muslim woman wants to do something for Islam she should be applauded “because she could be out there doing something else.”

Muslim organizations have a duty to say what is right and to invite in the best of manner women to cover and to support them when they do so but that doesn’t mean individuals should be judgmental when women are not covering, she adds.

INVOLVEMENT, BUT NOT LEADERSHIP

However, Ali and Badawi draw the line of involvement of non-Hijabi Muslim women in Muslim organizations at the leadership level.

They both say that any Islamically-oriented organization will select a person to be their leader who reflects their goals and aspirations. That means a Muslim woman who does not wear Hijab would not be selected because she is not fully following the precepts of Islam. Similarly, a Muslim man who is not fulfilling Islamic obligations like prayer, chaste behavior, etc. would also not be selected for a leadership position in such a milieu.

Badawi says this is not exclusion. Rather, it is the natural outcome in any milieu which aims to be Islamically-oriented. Its leadership will represent the precepts of Islam as much as possible.

I’m against the term exclusion because if we apply the Islamic Shura (consultative) method then the leadership would emanate from the people, will be chosen by the people. And if the community or Islamic organization in a given setting are truly Islamically oriented, one would expect that the person chosen to be the spokesperson and symbol of that organization should reflect their conviction and values in the best possible way.

A POSITIVE APPROACH

Badawi gives an example of how he, with my weaknesses approached an aggressive non-Hijabi sister and the result.

Many years back, during a visit to Australia, one sister, during one of his lectures, a non-Hijabi Muslim woman asked questions about Hijab, in a disapproving manner. He talked to her kindly and give information without harshness.

Two years later, he returned to Australia, and a sister in full Hijab approached him, asking if he recognized her. He did not.

“I am the one who was arguing with you about Hijab two years ago,” she told him. “But it is the approach and information that you gave me that helped me to study more, to educate myself and to make up my own decision and I am happy with what I decided.”

by Samana Siddiqui


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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

10 beautiful aspects of an Ideal Muslimah



1. Her Obedience to the Creator:


A practicing Muslim man loves to have a practicing Muslim wife; who knows that the life of this world is nothing but a test from her Lord; giving her an opportunity to come closer and closer to Allah, doing more and more good deeds to please Him Azza wa jal, restricting herself from the desires of her inner self that go against the will of her Creator.

But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts. Verily, Paradise will be his abode. (Surah An- Naaziyaat: 40-41)


2. Her Haya (Modesty/Shyness):

Haya is one of the most significant factors of a woman’s personality. Haya according to a believer’s nature refers to a bad and uneasy feeling accompanied by embarrassment, caused by one’s fear of being exposed or censured for some unworthy or indecent conduct.

Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “Haya comes from Eman; Eman leads to Paradise. Obscenity comes from antipathy; and antipathy leads to the fire.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

A Muslim woman feels shy to do

anything that would displease her Lord in any aspect. She has haya in her talk, she has haya in her gaze, she has haya in her clothing, she has haya in her walk. Her haya in her talk is that she is not soft in her speech but speaks honorably. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):


“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner” (Surah Al-Ahzaab:32)

Her haya in her gaze is that she does not look at what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has prohibited for her to look. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)… (Verse continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her clothing is that she does not reveal to others what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has forbidden for her to reveal. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

…And not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms,) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islâm), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigor, or small children who have no sense of the feminine sex.. (Verse Continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her walk is that she walks modestly without attracting others attention towards herself. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

..And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allâh to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful. (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Abu Usayd al-Ansa

ri narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger Sallallahu alaihiwasallam say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home: ‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle of the road.’ Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. (Narrated by Abu Dawood in “Kitab al-Adab min Sunanihi, Chapter: Mashyu an-Nisa Ma’ ar-Rijal fi at-Tariq)

A woman who has the knowledge of Allah’s commandment to preserve her modesty, submitting herself to the will of her creator, even after having the desire to be praised for her beauty, is without doubt beloved to Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala and as well as to all good believing men.


3. Her Beauty:


Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala made women beautiful in the sight of men. It’s just that some human beings are more attracted towards some than others.

Aishah RadhiyAllahu anha said: “I heard the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam saying: ‘Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.’” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

Al-Qurtubi said: “Although they are all souls, they differ in different ways, so a person will feel an affinity with souls of one kind, and will get along with them because of the special quality that they have in common. So we notice that people of all types will get along with those with whom they share an affinity, and will keep away from those who are of other types. [This is like the old saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together”] For a believing man, a Muslim woman’s beauty is not just how her nose looks or how big her eyes are, but her modesty, purity of heart, and innocence make her look beautiful as well. Also Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala makes people whom He loves, pleasing to others.

“When Allah loves someone he calls to Jibreel Alaihissalaam saying, ‘O Jibreel, I love such and such a person, so love him.’ Then Jibreel will call to the (angels) of the heavens, ‘Allah loves such and such a person so love him.’ And the angels will love [that person]. And then Allah will place the pleasure in the hearts of the people towards this person.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)


4. Her Intellect/playfulness:


Intellect and playfulness are two qualities of women highly liked by men. Every man likes to have an intelligent wife who can advise and support him in day to day matters. Khadija bint Khuwaylid RadhiyAllahu anha was one of the most beloved wives of Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). She supported Allah’s messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) at the very beginning of his Prophethood when Jibreel alaihissalaam brought the first revelation to him. Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) always admired her and remembered her even long after her death. A playful wife is a joy and pleasure to a man’s heart. Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam recommended Jabir bin ‘Abdullah to marry a virgin so that the two could play with each other and amuse each other. Narrated Jabir bin ‘Abdullah: “My father died and left seven or nine girls and I married a matron.

Allah’s Apostle said to me, “O Jabir! Have you married?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “A virgin or a matron?” I replied, “A matron.” he said, “Why not a virgin, so that you might play with her and she with you, and you might amuse her and she amuse you.” (Hadith continued) (Sahih Al- Bukhari)


5. Her Truthfulness:


Being truthful and honest is an essential quality of a believer. ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood RadhiyAllahu anh said:

The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “I urge you to be truthful, for truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man will continue to be truthful and seek to speak the truth until he is recorded with Allah as speaker of truth (Siddeeq). And beware of lying, for lying leads to immorality and immorality leads to Hell; a man will continue to tell lies until he is recorded with Allah as a liar.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

A person who is known to lie repeatedly loses his trust. And if that happens in case of a marital relationship the whole relationship falls apart. A woman who is known to be a “Siddeeqah” certainly has a higher status in a Muslim man’s heart.


6. Her Obedience:


Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala made man protector and maintainer of the woman and enjoined upon her to obey him in all the matters that do not go against Quran and Sunnah. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” (Surah An-Nisa’: 34)

The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, “The best women is she who when you look at her, she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, and when you are absent, she protects her honor and your property.” (At-Tabarani, Ibn Majah)


7. Her Patience:


Patience is a characteristic that can never be praised enough. A woman who remains patient at the times of hardship and relies on the help and mercy of Allah is without a doubt a beloved servant of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And Allah loves As-Saabiroon (the patient)” (Surah Aal Imran: 146)


8. Her Cooking:


Delicious food is without a doubt weakness of men. It’s an old saying that “The Way to a Man’s Heart is through his Stomach”. We also know that one of Prophet’s (Sallallahu alaihiwasallam) wives used to cook food that he liked a lot and due to that Aishah radhiyAllahu anha would get jealous, because she didn’t know how to cook that.


9. Her Contentment with Rizq:


No man likes to have a woman who is always complaining about how less her husband earns or how rich her other friends are. A good Muslimah is the one who thank Allah for what He has blessed her with and she is thankful to her husband for what he provides her with. Abu Hurairah RadhiyAllahu anh reported:

The Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, “Richness is not the abundance of wealth, rather it is self-sufficiency.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)


10. Good Manners:


A woman of good manners is a blessing from Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. When she speaks, she speaks honorably, why she deals with others she deals with them kindly. She is polite with elders, loving to children, and good to her fellow folks. It is related by ‘Abdullah bin Amr that the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said:

“The best of you are those who possess the best of manners.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

 

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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

She’s my sister :: Inspiring Story

Her cheeks were worn and sunken, and her skin hugged her bones. That didn’t stop her because you could never catch her not reciting Qur’an. She was always vigil in her personal prayer room that our father had set up for her. Bowing, prostrating, raising her hands in prayer, was the way she was from dawn to sunset and back again; boredom was for other people.

As for me, I craved nothing more than fashion magazines and novels. I treated myself to videos until the trips to the rental place became my trademark. It’s a saying that when something becomes habit, people tend to distinguish you by it. I was negligent in my responsibilities and my salah was characterized by laziness.

One night, after a long three hours of watching, I turned the video off. The adhan rose softly in the quiet night. I slipped peacefully into my blanket.

Her voice called me from her prayer room. “Yes? Would you like anything Noorah?” I asked.

With a sharp needle she popped my plans. “Don’t sleep before you pray Fajr!”

Agghh! “There’s still an hour before Fajr. That was only the first adhan,” I said.

With those loving pinches of hers, she called me closer. She was like that even before the fierce sickness shook her spirit and shut her in bed. “Hanan, can you come sit beside me.”

I could never refuse any of her requests; you could touch the purity and sincerity in her.“Yes, Noorah?”

“Please sit here.”

“Alright, I’m sitting. What’s on your mind?”

With the sweetest mono voice she began reciting:

Every soul shall taste death and you will merely be repaid your earnings on the Day of Resurrection.

She stopped thoughtfully. Then she asked, “Do you believe in death?”

“Of course I do,”I replied.

“Do you believe that you shall be responsible for whatever you do, regardless of how small or large?”

“I do, but Allah is Forgiving and Merciful, and I’ve got a long life waiting for me.”

“Stop it Hanan! Are you not afraid of death and its abruptness? Take a look at Hind. She was younger than you but she died in a car accident. Death is age-blind and your age could never be a measure of when you shall die.”

The darkness of the room filled my skin with fear. “I’m scared of the dark and now you made me scared of death. How am I supposed to go to sleep now? Noorah, I thought you promised you’d go with us on vacation during the summer break.”

Her voice broke and her heart quivered. “I might be going on a long trip this year Hanan, but somewhere else. All of our lives are in Allah’s hands and we all belong to Him.”

My eyes welled and the tears slipped down both cheeks. I pondered my sisters grizzly sickness. The doctors had informed my father in private that there was not much hope Noorah was going to outlive the disease. She wasn’t told, so I wondered who hinted to her. Or was it that she could sense the truth?

“What are you thinking about Hanan?”Her voice was sharp. “Do you think I am just saying this because I am sick? I hope not. In fact, I may live longer than people who are not sick. How long are you going to live Hanan? Perhaps twenty years? Maybe forty? Then what?”Through the dark she reached for my hand and squeezed gently. “There’s no difference between us; we’re all going to leave this world to live in Paradise or agonize in Hell. Listen to the words of Allah:

Anyone who is pushed away from the Fire and shown into Jannah will have triumphed.

I left my sister’s room dazed, her words ringing in my ears:“May Allah guide you Hanan – don’t forget your prayer.”

I heard pounding on my door at eight o’clock in the morning. I don’t usually wake up at this time. There was crying and confusion. O Allah, what happened?

Noorah’s condition became critical after Fajr; they took her to the hospital immediately.

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’oon.

There wasn’t going to be any trips this summer. It was written that I would spend the summer at home.

It felt like an eternity had gone by when it was one o’clock in the afternoon. Mother phoned the hospital.

“Yes. You can come and see her now.” Dad’s voice had changed, and mother could sense something had gone deathly wrong. We left immediately.

Where was that avenue I used to travel and thought was so short? Why was it so very long now? Where was the cherished crowd and traffic that would give me a chance to gaze left and right? Everyone, just move out of our way!

Mother was shaking her head in her hands crying as she made du’a for her Noorah. We arrived at the hospital’s main entrance. One man was moaning, while another was involved in an accident. A third man’s eyes were iced. You couldn’t tell if he was dead or alive.

Noorah was in intensive care. We skipped stairs to her floor. The nurse approached us. “Let me take you to her.”

As we walked down the aisles the nurse went on expressing how sweet of a girl Noorah was. She somewhat reassured Mother that Noorah’s condition had gotten better than what it was in the morning. “Sorry. No more than one visitor at a time,” the nurse said.

This was the intensive care unit. Past the flurry white robes, through the small window in the door, I caught my sister’s eyes. Mother was standing beside her. After about two minutes, mother came out unable to control her crying. “You may enter and say salaam to her on the condition that you do not speak too long,” they told me. “Two minutes should be enough.”

“How are you Noorah? You were fine last night sister, what happened?”

We held hands; she squeezed harmlessly. “Even now, alhamdulillah, I’m doing fine.”

“Alhamdulillah…but…your hands are so cold.”

I sat on her bedside and rested my fingers on her knee. She jerked it away. “Sorry, did I hurt you?

“No, it is just that I remembered Allah’s words.”

Waltafatul saaqu bil saaq (One leg will be wrapped to the other leg [in the death shroud]).

“Hanan pray for me. I may be meeting the first day of the Hereafter very soon. It’s a long journey and I haven’t prepared enough good deeds in my suitcase.”

A tear escaped my eye and ran down my cheek at her words. I cried and she joined me. The room blurred away and left us two sisters to cry together. Rivulets of tears splashed down on my sister’s palm, which I held with both hands. Dad was now becoming more worried about me. I’ve never cried like that before.

At home and upstairs in my room, I watched the sun pass away with a sorrowful day. Silence mingled in our corridors. One after another, my cousins came in my room. The visitors were many and all the voices from downstairs stirred together. Only one thing was clear at that point – Noorah had died!

I stopped distinguishing who came and who went. I couldn’t remember what they said. O Allah, where was I? What was going on? I couldn’t even cry anymore.

Later that week they told me what had happened. Dad had taken my hand to say goodbye to my sister for the last time. I had kissed Noorah’s head.

I remember only one thing while seeing her spread on that bed – the bed that she was going to die on. I remembered the verse she recited:

One leg will be wrapped to the other leg (in the death shroud).

And I knew too well the truth of the next verse:

The drive on that day will be to your Lord (Allah)!

I tiptoed into her prayer room that night. Staring at the quiet dressers and silenced mirrors, I treasured the person that had shared my mother’s stomach with me. Noorah was my twin sister.

I remembered who I had swapped sorrows with, who comforted my rainy days. I remembered who prayed for my guidance and who spent so many tears for many long nights telling me about death and accountability. May Allah save us all.

Tonight is Noorah’s first night that she shall spend in her tomb. O Allah, have mercy on her and illumine her grave. This was her Qur’an and her prayer mat. And this was the spring, rose-colored dress that she told me she would hide until she got married; the dress she wanted to keep just for her husband.

I remembered my sister and cried over all the days that I had lost. I prayed to Allah to have mercy on me, accept me and forgive me. I prayed to Allah to keep her firm in her grave as she always liked to mention in her supplications.

At that moment, I stopped. I asked myself what if it was I who had died. Where would I be moving on to? Fear pressed me and the tears began all over again.

“Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar…” The first adhan rose softly from the masjid. It sounded so beautiful this time. I felt calm and relaxed as I repeated the mu’adhin’s call. I wrapped the shawl around my shoulders and stood to pray Fajr. I prayed as if it was my last prayer, a farewell prayer, just like Noorah had done yesterday. It had been her last Fajr.

Now, and in sha Allah for the rest of my life, if I awake in the morning I do not count on being alive by evening, and in the evening I do not count on being alive by morning. We are all going on Noorah’s journey. What have we prepared for it?

Muhammad Alshareef* Mohammad Alshareef translated the following story from the book “Azzaman Alqaadim” and gave it as his final speech at the MYNA East Zone conference. It is a very moving story which had the entire audience in tears.

 

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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

50 Things You Need to Know About Marital Relationships


  1. Great relationships don’t just happen; they are created. You have to work at it.
  2. If your job takes all of your best energy, your marriage will suffer.
  3. One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is your own happiness.
  4. It is possible to love and hate someone at the same time.
  5. When you complain about your spouse to your friends, remember that their feedback can be distorted.
  6. The only rules in your marriage are those you both choose to agree with.
  7. It is not conflict that destroys marriage; it is the cold, smoldering resentment that you hold for a long time.
  8. It’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you do with what you have.
  9. If you think you are too good for your spouse, think again.
  10. Growing up in a happy household doesn’t ensure a happy marriage, or vice versa.
  11. It’s never too late to repair damaged trust.
  12. The real issue is usually not the one you are arguing about.
  13. Love isn’t just a feeling; it is expressed through our actions.
  14. Expectations set us up for disappointment and resentment.
  15. Arguments cannot be avoided, but destructive arguments can be avoided.
  16. One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is focused attention.
  17. Even people with happy marriages sometimes worry that they married the wrong person.
  18. Your spouse cannot rescue you from unhappiness, but they can help you rescue yourself.
  19. The cost of a lie is far greater than any advantage you gain from speaking it.
  20. Your opinion is not necessarily the truth.
  21. Trust takes years to establish and moments to destroy.
  22. Guilt-tripping won’t get you what you really want.
  23. Don’t neglect your friends.
  24. If you think, “You are not the person I married,” you are probably right.
  25. Resisting the temptation to prove your point will win you a lot of points.
  26. Generosity of spirit is the foundation of a good marriage.
  27. If your spouse is being defensive, you might be giving them reasons to be like that.
  28. Marriage isn’t 50/50; it’s 100/100.
  29. You can pay now or pay later, but the later you pay, the more interest and penalties you acquire.
  30. Marriage requires sacrifice, but your benefits outweigh your costs.
  31. Forgiveness isn’t a one-time event; it’s a continous process.
  32. Accepting the challenges of marriage will shape you into a better person.
  33. Creating a marriage is like launching a rocket: once it clears the pull of gravity, it takes much less energy to sustain the flight.
  34. A successful marriage has more to do with how you deal with your current reality than with what you’ve experienced in the past.
  35. Don’t keep feelings of gratitude to yourself.
  36. There is no greater eloquence than the silence of real listening.
  37. One of the greatest questions to ask your spouse is “How best can I love you?”
  38. Marriage can stay fresh over time.
  39. Assumptions are fine as long as you check them before acting upon them.
  40. Intention may not be the only thing, but it is the most important thing.
  41. Good sex won’t make your marriage, but it’ll help.
  42. Privacy won’t hurt your marriage, but secrecy will.
  43. Possessiveness and jealousy are born out of fear, not love.
  44. Authenticity is contagious and habit-forming.
  45. If your spouse thinks something is important, then it is.
  46. Marriage never outgrows the need for romance.
  47. The sparkle of a new relationship is always temporary.
  48. There is violence in silence when it’s used as a weapon.
  49. It’s better to focus on what you can do to make things right, then what your partner did to make things wrong.
  50. If you think marriage counseling is too expensive, try divorce.
Excerpted from Al Maghrib Institute’s “Fiqh of Love” seminar with Shaykh Waleed Basyouni.

 

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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

“Must Have’s” in Every Relationship

Assalam Alaykum,

I receive many emails,husband having problem with wife,wife having problem with husband…

so,here are few things listed,you must verify that these things are available between you and your partner or not,if something is missing or very low,then work on it…InshahAllah you will get benefit…and don;t forget to make dua to Allah SWT for clearing all issues…

May Allah make this post useful for the readers!

Ameen


Faith

The most basic and essential attribute of a Muslim marriage is the common faith that binds the couple. Since Islam is a way of life and not just a religion confined to weekly worship it becomes an integral part of a Muslim’s life. The religious frame of reference shared by the couple creates an ease of communication and a sharing of values that is not possible in an interfaith marriage. It is highly recommended that faith play an important role in developing a loving relationship. For example: As the Prophet Muhammad said that when a husband feeds his wife, he gets a reward for this act and Allah increases the bond of love between them. So when we love each other for the sake of Allah (SWT) we actually increase our faith.

Forbearance

Sabr is the most useful tool to have in managing a healthy lifestyle. Being patient and forbearing puts us in a proactive frame of mind it brings us closer to Allah (SWT) through tawakul and reliance. We develop an inner mechanism that empowers us to handle life’s difficult moments. As Allah states in surat Al-Asr “Surely by time humans are at loss, except those who believe and do righteous deeds and counsel each other to the truth and counsel each other to patience [sabr].”

Friendship With Your Spouse

This aspect of marriage has three components. The first is to develop a friendship with our spouses. The relationship based on friendship is more able to withstand outside pressures. We honor, trust, respect, accept and care for our friends, in spite of our differences. These are the aspects of friendship we should bring to our marriages. Unfortunately one highly inappropriate aspect that people think of bringing to their marriage is the buddy scenario. Shariah has placed the husband in a leadership role within his family and this requires a certain decorum, which cannot be maintained if the spouses consider each other as pals. This should not be taken to mean that husband is a dictator, but a shepherd who is responsible to and for his flock. This is a position of grave responsibility and places an enormous burden on the husband. Furthermore, the children need to see their parents as friends, but not as pals as this encourages disrespect.

Friendship With In-Laws

The second aspect of friendship is to have friendly relations with in-laws. When couples compete as to whose parents are more important it becomes a constant source of grief. Much valuable time is wasted trying to convince one another of whose parents are most desirable. It is better if we accept that our spouses will not fall in love with our parents overnight just because we want them to. As long as they maintain relationships that are cordial and based on mutual respect, we should not force the issue.

Couple Friends

The third aspect of friendship is our circle of friends. It is ok to have individual friends of the same gender but couples must also make an effort to have family friends so that they can socialize together. If there is friction being caused by a certain friendship it must not be pursued at the expense of the marriage. Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) advised us to choose God-fearing people as friends, since we tend to follow their way. Friends should be a source of joy and not mischief.

Fun

Couples that do not laugh together have to work on sharing some fun times. The Prophet was known to play with his wives. A simple walk in the park can add much spark to the relationship. Taking up a sport together or watching appropriate funny movies is another way of sharing a laugh.

Financial Plan

One of the most common points of contention in marriages is money. Experts tell us that 80% of marital conflicts are about money. It is therefore highly recommended that the couple put serious time and effort in developing a financial management plan that is mutually agreeable and is reviewed every six months or so. Preparing a budget together is also a helpful and wise way to handling household finances. It should be remembered that the wife’s money in Islam is hers to do with as she pleases and therefore should not be considered family income unless she chooses to contribute it to the family.

Respect For Family

Parenting can be a stressful experience if the parents are not well informed. This in turn can put extra pressure on the marriage. Sometimes couples are naive about the changes that come in lifestyle. This can cause depression in some cases, and resentment and misunderstanding in others. One golden rule that must always be the guide is “family comes first.” Whenever there is evidence that the family is not happy or not our first priority, it is time to assemble at the kitchen table and discuss the situation with open hearts and open minds.

Couples who have elderly parents have an added responsibility to take care of them; this can also be very stressful if the couple is not prepared. A care plan must be worked out with respective siblings and parents as to who will be the primary care giver and what type of support network they will have. In case of mental incompetence a power of attorney must be in place. The making of a will is essential.

Freedom

Marriage in Islam is a partnership and not bondage or slavery. To consider the wife as one’s property is alien to the Islamic concept of husband and wife. The team spirit is enhanced and not curtailed when members of the team are free to be themselves. Freedom in the common western sense is to be free to do as one pleases, or even to be selfish. But what is meant by allowing freedom to one’s spouse is to be considerate of her needs and to recognize her limitations.

Plan For The Future

Smart couples plan for their future together. They work on their financial and retirement plans. They make wills and discuss these plans with their children. This provides peace of mind and secures the relationship.

Fulfillment

To be all one can be to one’s spouse is a very fulfilling and rewarding experience. To be in love means to give one’s all. The heart does not put conditions or make stipulations; it gives without expecting anything in return, but such selfless giving is always rewarded ten-fold

Be Forgiving

When the Prophet Mohammad (sws) asked his companions, “Do you wish that Allah should forgive you?” they said, “Of course O Prophet of Allah.” He responded, “Then forgive each other.” One of the main components of a happy marriage is that the spouses are able to forgive one another, and that they do not hold grudges or be judgmental towards each other. It is expected that when we live with someone , situations will arise where we say or do things that hurt our spouses. The challenge is not to dwell on it or lay blame but to move past it. This can only happen if we are not too proud to ask for forgiveness and we are not stingy to forgive. If we hope for Allah to forgive us then we must learn to forgive.

Be Willing to Forget

When we constantly remind our spouses of all the times they have let us down or hurt us, we have not truly forgiven. Things that happened in the past must be left there and not be used as fresh ammunition in new situations. Couples who use this technique usually fall in a rut and become victims of their own pettiness, unable to break free.

Be Flexible

Many couples unnecessarily make themselves miserable because they are unwilling to bend a little. We should not expect our spouses to be extensions of ourselves; they are their own person, with their own personalities and likes and dislikes. We must respect their right to be themselves as long as it does not compromise their deen. Being inflexible and not accommodating for individual differences leads to a very stressful and tense home atmosphere.

Be Faithful

It is commanded by Allah (swt) that we be faithful to our spouses. Adultery is a crime in Islam that is punishable by death. However there are various forms of unfaithful behavior prevalent among some Muslims; the most common form is maintaining friendships with the opposite sex beyond the boundaries set by Islam. The latest trend of Internet relationships is also contrary to Islamic adab and is causing serious problems between couples. Once a sense of betrayal sets in repairing that relationship is difficult. Another form of not being faithful is when couples betray confidences. This is a trust issue and one, when compromised, that eats away at the heart of a marriage.

Be Fair

Usually when we are angry or displeased the tendency is to not play fair. We try to convince ourselves that since we have been wronged it is OK to be unjust in our behavior and our statements. Allah (swt) states in the Quran, do not be unjust under any circumstances, even to your enemy, and here we are talking about our life partners and the parent of our children. To use words such as “never” and “always” when describing the behavior of the partner is unfair and puts the other on defensive.

Be Flirtatious

A sure way to keep romance in a marriage is to flirt with your spouse. Many successful marriages have maintained a youthful demeanor by adopting special names for each other and secret communication styles. It is essential that your spouse always feel special and desired.

Be Frank

Misunderstandings happen when couples are not honest with each other. In a marital relationship, the partners must feel safe to speak their mind with due consideration to the other’s feeling, but without compromising their own views. When the communication is not frank it hinders the development of closeness and deep understanding of each other’s inner self.

Be a Facilitator

When choosing our life partner, we must as the Prophet (sws) advised look for a pious Muslim. The reason is that, their first and foremost goal is the pleasure of Allah (swt). This commitment to Allah makes them an excellent facilitator for enhancing their partner’s spiritual development. In essence the couple facilitates their family’s commitment to Allah (swt) and his deen.

Be Flattering

Paying compliments and indulging in honest flattery is a very inexpensive way to win your spouse’s heart. Every one likes to be appreciated and noticed. So being miserly about compliments is actually depriving one self of being appreciated in return.

Fallible

It often happens that our expectations sometimes are so high that we lose sight of the fact that we are fallible beings. When couples start to nitpick and demand the impossible they must remind themselves that only Allah (swt) is perfect.

Be Aware of Feelings

Prophet Mohammad (sws) stated that Allah forgives all sins if we repent but not those we have committed against others, i.e. hurt their feelings, unless the person we have hurt forgives first. Couples are sometimes very careless when it comes to their spouse’s feelings; they take them for granted and assume that the other knows what they mean. It is surprising that people are more sensitive and courteous to strangers than they are to their loved ones. One must be ever vigilant and careful that they do not hurt the feelings of their spouses and if they do they should apologize as soon as possible. Since one does not know when someone they love will leave this world, is it not better to make amends when we have the time?

Be Fond

So many times couples fail to work on developing fondness for each other by ignoring to see their spouses as people through the eyes of their respective friends. Spending quality time alone doing and sharing activities are ways in which one can develop fondness.


JazakAllah khair for reading,pls share with source back link only!

King
slave of Allah

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