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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

How should a husband treat his wife?

Look how Islam values women and how an Islam scholars perspective of women was back in 18th century, way before the womens basic rights were accepted around in the other countries of the world.

” Oh my friend, You have to be gentle, understanding and friendly to your wife. you have to talk with her in a polite and soft way and sweetness of words.

Our beloved Prophet[pbuh] said: The best of people is the one who is beneficial and helpful to his wife and his house members”.

when you found her sad and worried, you need to say you love her and you need to cheer her up with compassion as she might feeling depressed or hopeless at that time at home. You should be her best friend, her support in her troubles.

You should help her with the education of the children. The children will not give her a break and rest as they whine, cry, and ask for things day and night. If you help her, her Lord Allah will help you too.

About the mistakes she did, you must not get angry or say rude words. Even when you have to give her silent treatment, you should cut it after one day. when you discover a bad habit of hers or a behavior you did not like about her, you should find the fault in you and say:

“if I was a better person and had better behavior, she would be nicer, too”.

When she gets angry, you have to be silent. When you do not respond her, she would regret and apologize to you.

When she is helping, supporting and serving you, you should pray for her and you should thank and praise Allah since your wife, who is a good match for you, is a bounty by God that could never be thanked enough for.

You have to treat your wife in a way that she needs to think “my husband loves me more than anyone.”

About the household and financial issues, you have to consult her and talk together. You should not bother your wife with your other big troubles and issues. You need to ignore her bad behaviors unless they are forbidden by Allah, that is, unless she is committing a sin.

You have to hide her secret faults and her private matters from everybody. You should make compliments , appropriate jokes, and create entartainment for your wife.

Our beloved Prophet Muhammad[pbuh] would compliment, mingle and make jokes with his wife. He was the ultimate gentlemen and the most refined elegant person towards his wife. Once he had a race with his wife and his wife won, in the second time, he won.

Mild and pleasant conversations will bond you with your wife. You need to read each other about the basics and pillars of Islam, and other the necessary knowledge and sicences. You have to provide for her whatever you have for yourself in terms of clothing, food, and so on.

You should not reflect your troubles, problems, your sadness, enemies and your debts to her becuase even if she overcome these problems, these troubles will leave marks in her soul and affects her inner peace.

You should always say heartful of good praying to her face and her behind not ever bad prayers since she is always there for you and serving you day and night. She prepares your bread, your meal, mend and wash your clothess. She is the protector and manager of your dignity, honor, your properties, and your children . She is your best friend, your only support as you are to her, she is your love as you are her love.

got it bros……..?

so married bro go tell ur wife today that you love her …. 🙂

and unmarried bros….remember this small Article Advice….and do it when you have ur partner…!


JazakAllah khair for reading…..

slave of ALLAH SWT

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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

How to make your Wife happy ?

Beautiful Reception

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you:

  • Begin with a good greeting.
  • Start with Assalamau ‘Aliaykum and a smile. Salam is a sunnah and a du’aa for her as well.
  • Shake her hand and leave bad news for later!

Sweet Speech and Enchanting Invitations

  • Choose words that are positive and avoid negative ones.
  • Give her your attention when you speak of she speaks.
  • Speak with clarity and repeat words if necessary until she understands.
  • Call her with the nice names that she likes, e.g. my sweet-heart, honey, saaliha, etc.

Friendliness and Recreation

  • Spend time talking together.
  • Spread to her goods news.
  • Remember your good memories together.

Games and Distractions

  • Joking around & having a sense of humor.
  • Playing and competing with each other in sports or whatever.
  • Taking her to watch permissible (halal) types of entertainment.
  • Avoiding prohibited (haram) things in your choices of entertainment.

Assistance in the Household

  • Doing what you as an individual can/like to do that helps out, especially if she is sick or tired.
  • The most important thing is making it obvious that he appreciates her hard work.

Consultation (Shurah)

  • Specifically in family matters.
  • Giving her the feeling that her opinion is important to you.
  • Studying her opinion carefully.
  • Be willing to change an opinion for hers if it is better.
  • Thanking her for helping him with her opinions.

Visiting Others

  • Choosing well raised people to build relations with. There is a great reward in visiting relatives and pious people. (Not in wasting time while visiting!)
  • Pay attention to ensure Islamic manners during visits.
  • Not forcing her to visit whom she does not feel comfortable with.

Conduct During Travel

  • Offer a warm farewell and good advice.
  • Ask her to pray for him.
  • Ask pious relatives and friends to take care of the family in your absence.
  • Give her enough money for what she might need.
  • Try to stay in touch with her whether by phone, e-mail, letters, etc..
  • Return as soon as possible.
  • Bring her a gift!
  • Avoid returning at an unexpected time or at night.
  • Take her with you if possible.

Financial Support

  • The husband needs to be generous within his financial capabilities. He should not be a miser with his money (nor wasteful).
  • He gets rewards for all what he spends on her sustenance even for a small piece of bread that he feeds her by his hand (hadeith).
  • He is strongly encouraged to give to her before she asks him.

Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

  • Following the Sunnah in removing hair from the groin and underarms.
  • Always being clean and neat.
  • Put on perfume for her.


  • It is obligatory to do it habitually if you have no excuse (sickness, etc.)
  • Start with “Bismillah” and the authentic du’a.
  • Enter into her in the proper place only (not the anus).
  • Begin with foreplay including words of love.
  • Continue until you have satisfied her desire.
  • Relax and joke around afterwards.
  • Avoid intercourse during the monthly period because it haram
  • Do what you can to avoid damaging her level of Hiyaa (shyness and modesty) such as taking your clothes together instead of asking her to do it first while he is looking on.
  • Avoid positions during intercourse that may harm her such as putting pressure on her chest and blocking her breath, especially if you are heavy.
  • Choose suitable times for intercourse and be considerate as sometimes she maybe sick or exhausted.

Guarding Privacy

  • Avoid disclosing private information such as bedroom secrets, her personal problems and other private matters.

Aiding in the Obedience to Allah

  • Wake her up in the last third of the night to pray “Qiyam-ul-Layl” (extra prayer done at night with long sujood and ruku’ua).
  • Teach her what you know of the Qur’an and its tafseer.
  • Teach her “Dhikr” (ways to remember Allah by the example of the prophet) in the morning and evening.
  • Encourage her to spend money for the sake of Allah such as in a charity sale.
  • Take her to Hajj and Umrah when you can afford to do so.

Showing Respect for her Family and Friends

  • Take her to visit her family and relatives, especially her parents.
  • Invite them to visit her and welcome them.
  • Give them presents on special occasions.
  • Help them when needed with money, effort, etc..
  • Keep good relations with her family after her death if she dies first. Also in this case the husband is encouraged to follow the sunnah and keep giving what she used to give in her life to her friends and family.

(Islamic) Training & Admonition

This includes:

  • The basics of Islam
  • Her duties and rights
  • Reading and writing
  • Encouraging her to attend lessons and halaqahs
  • Islamic rules (ahkam) related to women
  • Buying Islamic books and tapes for the home library

Admirable Jealousy

  • Ensure she is wearing proper hijab before leaving house.
  • Restrict free mixing with non-mahram men.
  • Avoiding excess jealousy.

Examples of this are:

1- Analyzing every word and sentence she says and overloading her speech by meanings that she did    not mean
2- Preventing her from going out of the house when the reasons are just.
3- Preventing her from answering the phone.

Patience and Mildness

  • Problems are expected in every marriage so this is normal. What is wrong is excessive responses and magnifying problems until a marital breakdown.
  • Anger should be shown when she exceeds the boundaries of Allah SWT, by delaying prayers, backbiting, watching prohibited scenes on TV, etc..
  • Forgive the mistakes she does to you.

Correcting her Mistakes

  • First, implicit and explicit advice several times.
  • Then by turning your back to her in bed (displaying your feelings). Note that this does not include leaving the bedroom to another room, leaving the house to another place, or not talking with her.
  • The last solution is lightly hitting (when allowable) her. In this case, the husband should consider the following:

He should know that sunnah is to avoid beating as the Prophet PBUH never beat a woman or a servant.

  • He should do it only in extreme cases of disobedience, e.g. refusing intercourse without cause frequently, constantly not praying on time, leaving the house for long periods of time without permission nor refusing to tell him where she had been, etc..
  • It should not be done except after having turned from her bed and discussing the matter with her as mentioned in Qur’an .
  • He should not hit her hard injuring her, or hit her on her face or on sensitive parts of her body.
  • He should avoid shaming her such as by hitting her with a shoe, etc.

Pardoning and Appropriate Censure

  • Accounting her only for larger mistakes.
  • Forgive mistakes done to him but account her for mistakes done in Allah’s rights, e.g. delaying prayers, etc..
  • Remember all the good she does whenever she makes a mistake.
  • Remember that all humans err so try to find excuses for her such as maybe she is tired, sad, having her monthly cycle or that her commitment to Islam is growing.
  • Avoid attacking her for the bad cooking of the food as the Prophet PBUH never blamed any of his wives for this. If he likes the food, he eats and if he doesn’t then he does not eat and does not comment.
  • Before declaring her to be in error, try other indirect approaches that are more subtle than direct accusations
  • Escape from using insults and words that may hurt her feelings.
  • When it becomes necessary to discuss a problem wait until you have privacy from others.
  • Waiting until the anger has subsided a bit can help to keep a control on your words.
summary of the book “How to make your wife happy” by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed.

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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

The Ideal Muslim Husband

The true Muslim abides by the clear, unambiguous texts of the Quraan which command him to treat women fairly and decently. He cannot be other than an ideal husband, so his wife enjoys his gentle company and close companionship, no matter how long they stay together. When he comes home, he greets his wife and children with a smiling face and extends to them the blessed greeting that Allah has enjoined and made the distinctive greeting of Islam:

“. . . But if you enter houses, salute each other a greeting or blessing and purity as from Allah . . .” (Al-Quraan 24:61)

The Prophet (SAW) encouraged Anas (RA) to use this greeting:

O my son, when you go home greet your family with salaam: it will be a blessing for you and your family.”

It is truly a great blessing for a man to meet his family with a pleasant greeting, for it contributes to a happy, friendly and pleasant atmosphere. He should lend a hand if he sees that his wife needs his help, and he should say some words of comfort if he feels that she is complaining of tiredness, weariness or boredom. He should make her feel that she is living with a strong, generous, tolerant husband who will protect her and care for her, who cares about her and will meet all her legitimate needs as long as he is able.

He should also satisfy her femininity by making himself attractive to her within Islamic limits and should give her a share of his time and interest. He should not let his study, work; hobbies, responsibilities or friends take up all of his time and keep him from her. Islam guarantees woman’s right to enjoy her husband to the extent that it even tells the husband not to spend all his time in worship, which is the best and most honorable of deeds, lest the balance and equilibrium upon which this religion is based be disturbed. We see this in the report of ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aî (RA), who says that when the Prophet (SAW) learned of his overzealousness in worship, he said to him:

Have I not heard that you fast all day and stay up all night in prayer?” ‘Abdullah (RA) said,

That is true, O’Messenger of Allah.” The Prophet (SAW) told him: “Do not do that. Fast and break your fast, sleep and get up. For your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you, your wife has a right over you, and your visitors have a right over you.” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim)

Khawlah, the daughter of Hakim, who was the wife of ‘Uthman ibn Maz‘un (RA), came to the wives of the Prophet (SAW) wearing a tattered dress and looking unkempt.

They asked her, “What is wrong with you?” She told them about her husband: “At night he stays up in prayer, and during the day he fasts.” They told the Prophet (SAW) what she had said, so when he saw ‘Uthman ibn Maz‘un, he admonished him and said, “Do you not have an example in me?” ‘Uthman said, “Of course, may Allah cause me to be sacrificed for you!”

Later, she (Khawlah) came back wearing fine clothes and with a pleasant scent. According to another report, the Prophet (SAW) told him:

O ‘Uthman, monasticism has not been prescribed for us. Do you not have an example in me? For by Allah I am the one out of all of you who fears Allah the most and keeps most strictly within His bounds.

The Prophet (SAW) used to instill this guidance in his Companions and showed them how to achieve fairness and balance between their spiritual lives and their private lives with their spouses, until this fairness and balance became second nature to them. Then they would encourage one another to adhere to it, and would appeal to the Prophet (SAW) if one of their numbers sought to go beyond the limits and was becoming extreme in his asceticism, self-denial and worship.

Imam Bukhari narrated that Abu Juhayfah (RA) said:

The Prophet (SAW) established brotherhood between Salman and Abul-Darda. Salman visited Abul-Darda and saw Umm al-Darda looking unkempt.

He asked her: “What is the matter with you?

She said: “Your brother Abul-Darda has no need of this world.” Abul-Darda came and made some food for him, and told him: “Eat; I am fasting.”

Salman said: “I will not eat until you eat.” so he ate. That night, Abul-Darda wanted to spend the night in prayer, but Salman told him to sleep, so he went to sleep. Then he wanted to get up, but Salman again told him to sleep. In the last part of the night, Salman told him: “Now get up.”  So they prayed, and Salman told him: “Your Rabb has a right over you, your soul has a right over you, and your wife has a right over you, so fulfill your duty to each one who has a right over you.” Abul-Darda came to the Prophet (SAW) and told him about what had happened, and the Prophet (SAW) said: “Salman is right.

The conscientious Muslim does not neglect to relieve the tedium of routine life with his wife, so he spices their daily life with a little gentle humor and playfulness from time to time. In doing so, he follows the example of the Prophet (SAW) whose whole life is the highest example for us. Although he was constantly busy with the overwhelming task of laying the foundations of Islam, building the Muslim Ummah, directing the army in jihad, and numerous other concerns, he did not let that keep him from being an ideal husband to his wives, treating them in the best possible way, with a smiling face and a touch of gentle humor.

An example is the report given by Ayesha (RA) who said:

I came to the Prophet (SAW) with some harirah (a dish made with flour and milk) that I had cooked for him, and told Sawdah (RA) as the Prophet (SAW) was sitting between me and her: “Eat.” She refused, so I said: “Either you eat, or I will fill your face!” She still refused, so I put my hand in the harirah and daubed her face with it.

The Prophet (SAW) laughed, put some harirah in her hand, and told her: “Do the same to her!”

In another report: “He lowered his knee (moved out of the way) so that she could get her own back on me, then she took some from the plate and wiped my face with it, and the Prophet (SAW) smiled.”

Is this not an example of tolerance and an easy-going nature which makes a wife happy through a humorous and light-hearted attitude?

Ayesha (RA) also reported that once, when she went on a journey with the Prophet (SAW), she challenged him to a race, and won. Later, when she had gained weight, she raced him again, but this time he won, and told her, “This is for that.”

The generous-hearted Prophet (SAW) was so keen to make his beloved young wife feel happy that he would call her to enjoy some innocent kinds of entertainment that would gladden her heart. Ayesha (RA) reports that on one occasion:

The Prophet (SAW) was sitting, and he heard some noise from people and children outside. There was a group of people gathered around some Abyssinians who were dancing. He said: “O’Ayesha, come and see!”

I put my cheek on his shoulder and looked through the gap. Then he said: “O’Ayesha, have you had enough, have you had enough?” I said: “No.” just to see how much I meant to him, and I saw him shifting his weight from one foot to the other” (i.e. he was tired, but he was willing to stay as long as she wanted to watch the spectacle.)

In another report, Ayesha (RA) said:

“By Allah, I saw the Prophet (SAW) standing at the door of my room, when some Abyssinians were playing with spears in the mosque. The Messenger of Allah (SAW) screened me with his cloak so that I could watch the spear-play over his shoulder. He stayed there for my sake, until I had seen enough. So pay attention to young girls’ need for entertainment.” (Al-Bukhari Muslim)

When he sees the example of the Prophet’s (SAW) kind behavior, generosity and good humor towards his wives, the true Muslim cannot but treat his wife kindly and gently, with an easy-going attitude, so long as this is within the limits of permissible and innocent entertainment.

The true Muslim does not overreact and become angry for trivial reasons, as many ignorant husbands do, creating uproar if their wives offer them food that is not to their liking, or their meal is a little late, or any of the other reasons which often cause an inordinate amount of anger, arguments and trouble between the spouses. The Muslim who is truly following the example of the Prophet (SAW) always remembers aspects of his character that remind him to be generous, kind and tolerant. So he remembers that one of the characteristics of the Prophet (SAW) is that

he never criticized food. If he liked it, he ate it, and if he did not like it, he simply left it.” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim)

And he remembers that the Prophet (SAW) asked his family for some simple food he could eat with bread.

They told him: “We have nothing apart from vinegar.” He asked them to bring it and said, “How good a simple food is vinegar, how good a simple food is vinegar.” (Muslim)

Let them listen to this hadith, those foolish husbands whose eyes flash with anger at their wives’ mistakes, when their food is a little late or not to their liking. Their poor wives may have genuine, pressing reasons for making these mistakes, but these husbands become angry without caring to know those reasons, on the basis of an incorrect understanding of the phrase “men are qawwamun over women”!

The true Muslim husband does not stop at showing kindness and generosity towards his wife, but he extends his respect and kindness towards her decent (female) friends. This is in accordance with the practice of the Prophet (SAW). Ayesha (RA) narrated:

An old woman came to the Prophet (SAW) and he smiled at her, showed her respect, and asked her: “How are you? How have you been doing?” She answered: “I am fine, may my father and mother be sacrificed for you, O Messenger of Allah.”When she had left. Ayesha (RA) said, “Why did you welcome this old woman so warmly, in a way that you do not welcome anyone else?” The Prophet (SAW) replied, “She used to come and visit us when Khadijah (RA) was alive. Do you not know that honoring the ties of friendship is part of faith?

A wife may become angry for any reason, and keep away from her husband, making him feel her anger. In this case, the Muslim husband responds with tolerance and kindness, based on his deep insight into the psychology and nature of woman, as the Prophet (SAW) used to treat his wives whenever they were angry with him and kept away from him all day until night fell.

‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (RA) said: “We Quraish used to have control over our women. When we came to Medina we found a people whose women had control over them, and our women began to learn from their women.

I used to live in al-‘Awali, among Banu Umayyad ibn Zayd. One day my wife was angry with me, and was arguing with me. I did not like this, but she told me:

Do you not like me arguing with you? By Allah, the wives of the Prophet (SAW) argue with him. They get angry and keep away from him all day, until night falls!” So I went to see Hafsa and asked her: “Do you argue with the Prophet (SAW)?” She said: “Yes.” I asked her: “Do you get angry and keep away from him all day until night falls?”  She said: “Yes.” I said: “The one who does that is doomed to loss! Do you not fear the anger of Allah on the account of the anger of His Prophet? Soon you will be condemned! Do not argue with the Messenger of Allah, and do not ask him for anything. Ask me for whatever you need’” (Bukhari, Muslim, al-Tirmidhi)

Umar (RA) came to the Prophet (SAW) and told him about what had happened in his house, and the conversation he had with Hafsa, and the Prophet (SAW) smiled.

The Muslim should develop this tolerant attitude, so that he will be following the example of the Prophet (SAW) in his behavior and deeds. Then he will be living proof that Islam is the religion of a superior lifestyle; and that the misery, disintegration, confusion and anxiety that individuals, families and societies are suffering from are caused by man’s ignorance and misconceptions of the noble values promulgated by Islam. These are precious principles which, if adopted by the husband, would put an end to arguments and divisions in family life, and would bring peace, stability, happiness and security to the home.

One of the most successful husbands.

Hence the smart Muslim husband is one of the most successful husbands ever, and the most beloved to a faithful, pure, righteous wife, because of his adherence to the guidance of Islam. He has a deep and compassionate understanding of her nature and psychology, and he directs her towards the straight path of Islam, which is in complete harmony with the true nature of mankind. He recognizes her inclinations, desires and moods, and tries to reconcile between them and the ideal life and behavior he wants for her.





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In The Name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most Kind

Assalam Alaykum,

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(slave of ALLAH!)


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