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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

Mothers the Producers of Heros – Love her!

Sheikh Abdullah Azzam, Rahimahullah

“…Mothers play a great role in building a generation. The better a mother is at raising her children, the more successfully the Ummah is built and the more successful it is at producing heroes. You hardly ever see a great man except that a great woman is behind him who left some of her traits in his personality by way of the milk from which he was fed and the warm embrace in which he sought refuge. 

Most men find it hard to remove these shining images from their minds that they retain of their mothers. These outstanding images that ran through his veins from a young age remain engraved in his mind, and he cannot help but to remember them with veneration and pride. He recalls the simple, clear words that his mother left his spirit with, and these words grow to become milestones on his path and guiding lights on his quest.

He cannot help but to place himself under the vast shade that his mother provided for him throughout the long course of his life, nurtured by the pleasant emotions and mixed with the eternal days of his life. These realities grow in his spirit and become an inseparable part of his personality that he cannot let go of without letting go of his humanity.

This is why preserving this affection and repaying this kindness with kindness is an obligation in Islam that is directly partnered with Tawhid:

{“…and your Lord ordained that you worship only Him, and that you treat your parents with excellence…”} [al-Isra’; 23]

And disobedience to them is directly partnered with kufr.

Respect for mothers occupies a very high position on the ladder of Islam, and is very heavy in its scales.
It is reported in the ‘Sahih’ that a man came to the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) and said: “O Messenger of Allah, who is most deserving of my kind treatment?”

He replied: “Your mother.”

The man asked: “Then who?”

He replied: “Your mother.”

The man asked again: “Then who?”

He replied: “Your mother.”

The man asked again: “Then who?”

He replied: “Your father.”

I once said to Ibrahim al-Akhdar – the imam of the Haram in Makkah – “Why do you prevent your sweet voice from being heard by the Muslims who come from everywhere to hear it? How can you request to return to Madinah when some people say that hearing you recite the Qur’an is like hearing it descending fresh from the heavens?”

So, he replied: “My treasures in this world are my grandmother and mother, and I must fulfill my responsibilities to them and treat them well. Nobody can do this but me.” 

I said: “Why don’t you bring your grandmother here?”

He said: “She refuses to leave Madinah out of fear that she might die outside of it, and her greatest wish is to be buried in the graveyard of al-Baqi’.”

And indeed, Ibrahim actually left the Haram in Makkah and went back to leading a small mosque in Madinah, sticking to the Paradise that is at the foot of his mother and grandmother…”

[‘Majallat al-Jihad’; #36, Rabi’ al-Awwal 1408]

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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

Mother’s Day – an historical overview and the scholars’ rulings on this holiday


Introduction:

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us that his ummah would follow the previous nations, the Jews, Christians and Persians, but this was undoubtedly not praise for their actions, rather it is by way of condemnation and a warning. It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“You will certainly follow the ways of those who came before you, handspan by handspan, cubit by cubit, until even if they entered the hole of a lizard, you will do so too.” We asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, (do you mean) the Jews and the Christians?” He said, “Who else?” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3269; Muslim, 2669).

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“The Hour will not begin until my ummah follows in the footsteps of those who came before it, handspan by handspan, cubit by cubit.” It was asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, like the Persians and Romans?” He said, “Those are the people?” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6888)

The ignorant among this ummah, and the innovators and heretics have followed the previous nations, the Jews, Christians and Persians, in their beliefs, ways, manners and dress. Our concern here is to point out in these days their following and imitation of them through the innovation of “Mother’s Day” or “Family Day”, which is a day that the Christians innovated to honour mothers, or so they claim. This then became a day that was venerated, when government departments would be shut and people would get in touch with their mothers or send them gifts and loving messages. But when the day was over, things would go back to the way they were, with people being cut off from their mothers and disobeying them.

What is strange is that the Muslims would feel a need to imitate them in such ways, when Allaah has commanded them to honour their mothers and has forbidden them to disobey them, and has made the reward for that (for obeying them) the highest status.

Definition of the word ‘Eid

[as Mother’s Day is known in Arabic as “Eid al-umm” or “mothers’ festival”; the word Eid is derive from the root ‘aada/ya’ood meaning to come back or return]

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:

“Eid (festival) is a name that is given to an occasion which returns, when people gather in a festive manner, whether that is annual or weekly or monthly and so on.”

(Iqtidaa’ al-Siraat al-Mustaqeem, 1/441).

Ibn ‘Aabideen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “ An ‘Eid is so called because Allaah repeatedly bestows blessings, i.e., kinds of blessings that come back to His slaves on these days, such as breaking the fast after refraining from eating, sadaqat al-fitr (obligatory charity paid at the end of Ramadaan), completing the Hajj by doing Tawaaf al-Ziyaarah, the sacrificial meats, and so on; and because the tradition on such occasions is to express joy and happiness, and to be energetic and happy.”

(Haashiyat Ibn ‘Aabideen, 2/165)

How many festivals are there in Islam?

The Muslim may note the large number of festivals that are observed among the Muslims nowadays, such as the Festival of Trees, Workers’ Day (May Day), the anniversary of the king’s accession to the throne, birthdays, etc… There is a long list of such days, but each of these is the innovation of the Jews, Christians and polytheists; they have no basis in Islam. There are no festivals in Islam apart from Eid al-Adha and Eid al-Fitr.

It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: “During the Jaahiliyyah, the people had two days each year when they would play. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to Madeenah he said, ‘You had two days on which you would play, but Allaah has given you something better than them: the day of al-Fitr and the day of al-Adha.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1134; al-Nasaa’i, 1556; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani).

Honouring one’s mother

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Worship Allaah and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, Al-Masaakeen (the poor), the neighbour who is near of kin, the neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess. Verily, Allaah does not like such as are proud and boastful”

[al-Nisa’ 4:36]

And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour”

[al-Isra’ 17:23]

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “A man came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, who among the people is most deserving of my good company?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Then your father.’”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5626; Muslim, 2548)

Al- Haafiz ibn Hajar said:

“Ibn Battaal said: what this means is that the mother should be honoured three times more than the father. He said, that is because of the difficulties of pregnancy, then giving birth, then breastfeeding. These are hardships that are experienced only by the mother, then the father shares with her in raising the child. This is also referred to in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):

‘And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years’ [Luqmaan 31:14]

So the recommendation to be dutiful and good refers to both parents, but the mother’s share is greater because of the three things mentioned above. Al-Qurtubi said: what is meant is that the mother deserves a greater share of her child’s honour, and her rights take precedence over those of the father in cases where a choice must be made. ‘Iyaad said: the majority of scholars were of the view that the mother takes precedence over the father in terms of honouring one’s parents. And it was said that both must be honoured equally, and this was narrated by some from Maalik, but the former view is the one which is correct.”

(Fath al-Baari, 10/402).

Indeed, even if one’s mother is a mushrikah (polytheist), the wise and pure sharee’ah of Islam encourages one to uphold ties of kinship with her:

It was narrated that Asma’ bint Abi Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “My mother came to visit me at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and she was a mushrikah. I consulted the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), saying, ‘My mother has come to visit me for some purpose, should I uphold ties of kinship with my mother?’ He said, ‘Yes, uphold ties of kinship with your mother.’”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2477)

Mothers in kaafir countries

Those who study the situation of families in general and of mothers in particular in the non-Muslim societies will hear and read of strange things. You can hardly find any complete family whose members keep in touch with one another, let alone meeting and conversing or staying together.

As some observers in kaafir countries have said: in the marketplaces or streets you may see a mother and her son or daughter, or a father and his son or daughter, but you will rarely see a whole family going shopping or walking in the streets.

When the father or mother grows old, the best among their children hastens to put them in seniors’ homes. Some Muslims went to some of these homes and asked a dozen of seniors what their greatest wish was. All of them said, “Death!” That is only because each of them is living in misery, grief and regret for the way they have ended up and the way their children have deserted them at the time when they need them most.

Timing of Mother’s Day in different countries

The date of Mother’s Day, and the way in which it is celebrated, differs from one country to another. In Norway it is celebrated on the second Sunday in February. In Argentina it is celebrated on the second Sunday in October. In Lebanon it is on the first day of spring. In South Africa it is celebrated on the first Sunday in May.

In France it is celebrated more as a family festival, on the last Sunday in May, when family members get together for dinner, then they give a cake to the mother.

Sweden also has a holiday for Family Day on the last Sunday of May. A few days before that the Swedish Red Cross sells small plastic roses for people to give to their mothers who will spend the holiday taking care of their children. In Japan this day is celebrated on the second Sunday in May, as in North America, where exhibitions are held of pictures drawn by children aged 6-14; these exhibitions are called “My Mother” This exhibition is moved every four years and has appeared in a number of countries.

Mother’s Day – an historical overview

Some researchers have said:

Some historians have suggested that Mother’s Day started with the ancient Greeks’ celebrations of spring festivals. These festivals were devoted to the mother goddess Rhea, the wife of Cronos, the father god. In ancient Rome there was a similar celebration devoted to the worship or veneration of Sybil, another mother of the gods. This began approximately 250 years before the birth of the Messiah (peace be upon him). These religious celebrations of the Romans were called “Hilaria” and lasted for three days from March 15 to March 18.

Sunday in England

This was a day similar to the modern Mother’s Day celebration, but it was called “Mothering Sunday” or (the Sunday half-way through Lent), because it occurred during their major fasting period (Lent). Some say that the celebrations that were held to worship and honour the Roman goddess Sybil were changed by the church to celebrations meant to honour and venerate Mary (peace be upon her). This custom began with some people encouraging people to visit the central church in their locality, bringing offerings. In 1600 young men and women of simple professions and servants started to visit their mothers on “Mothering Sunday”, bringing gifts and food. This is what happened in England. In the USA it was a different story.

The United States

Anna M. Jarvis (1864-1948):

She had the idea of making Mother’s Day an official holiday in the United States. She never married and she had a very strong relationship with her mother. She was the daughter of a minister and she taught in the Sunday School of Andrew Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia. Two years after her mother died, she launched a campaign addressed to bosses, ministers and congressmen, to declare Mother’s Day an official holiday in the country. She felt that children did not appreciate what their mothers had done for them during their lives, and she hoped that this day would strengthen the feelings of children for their mothers and fathers, and strengthen family ties.

The beginning

The church honoured Miss Anna Jarvis in Grafton, West Virginia, and in Philadelphia and Pennsylvania on May 10, 1908. This was the beginning of Mother’s Day in the United States.

Carnations were one of her mother’s favourite flowers, especially white ones, because they were supposed to represent goodness, purity and patience, which are characteristic of a mother’s love. As time went by, red carnations became a symbol that the mother was still alive, and white carnations became a symbol that the mother had passed away.

The first official declaration of Mother’s Day in the United States was in West Virginia and Oklahoma in 1910. In 1911 the entire U.S. celebrated this day. By then these celebrations had also spread to Mexico, Canada, China, Japan, Latin America and Africa. Then the U.S. Congress officially agreed to announce celebrations of Mother’s Day, on May 10, 1913, and the first Sunday in May was chosen as Mother’s Day.

Mother’s Day in the Arab World

The idea of celebrating Mother’s Day in the Arab world began in Egypt, and was started by the two brothers Mustafa and ‘Ali Ameen, the founders of the Akhbaar al-Yawm newspaper. ‘Ali Ameen himself had received a letter from a mother complaining of her children’s meanness and bad treatment towards her, and suffering because of their failure to appreciate her. It so happened that another mother visited Mustafa Ameen in his office and told him her story; briefly, she had been widowed when her children were small, and she had not remarried.

She had devoted her life to her children, playing the role of both father and mother, spending all her energy in taking care of her children, until they left to go to university and get married. Each of them was living an independent life, and they only visited her on rare occasions. Mustafa Ameen and ‘Ali Ameen wrote in their famous column Fikrah (“Idea”) suggesting that a day should be set aside for mothers, to remember their virtues. They pointed out that the west did that, and that Islam enjoined taking care of one’s mother. Many letters were sent to the newspaper, supporting this idea. Some suggested that a whole week should be devoted to mothers, not just one day, and others rejected the idea, saying that every day of the year should be for one’s mother, not just one day.

But most readers agreed with the idea of setting aside one day, and they voted to choose March 21, which is also the first day of spring, to be Mother’s Day and a symbol of open-heartedness, purity and beautiful feelings.

Egypt celebrated Mother’s Day for the first time on March 21, 1956. >From Egypt this idea spread to other Arab countries. At some point some people suggested that Mother’s Day should be called Family Day, so as to honour fathers as well, but this idea was not widely accepted, as people thought that this detracted from the rights of mothers, or they accused the proponents of the Family Day idea of thinking that it was too much to allocate a day just for mothers. Even now the Arab countries still celebrate this day through the various kinds of media and honour the ideal mothers who have gone through immense struggles for their children’s sake at every level.

After knowing that, it comes as no surprise that most of those who celebrate Mother’s Day are the Jews and Christians and those who imitate them, and that they say that this is because of their concern for women and mothers, and that Mother’s Day is celebrated by some of the Masonic clubs in the Arab world such as the Rotary Club and Lions Club.

We may also note that Mother’s Day, which is March 21 (in the Arab world) is also the New Year of the Coptic Christians, and the Nawroz festival of the Kurds.

The shar’i viewpoint concerning Mother’s Day:

Islam has no need of things that are innovated by others, be it Mother’s Day of anything else. Its teachings on the honouring of mothers mean that it has no need for an innovated Mother’s Day.

Fatwas of the scholars

1. The scholars of the Standing Committee said:

Praise be to Allaah Alone and blessings and peace be upon His Messenger and his family and companions.

Firstly: Eid is a name given to a recurring occasion on which people come together,whether it is annual or monthly or weekly and so on. Eid combines a number of things: a day which recurs, such as Eid al-Fitr and Friday (Jumu’ah); gathering on that day; acts or worship and customs which are done on that day.

Secondly: whatever is done on that day as a ritual, act of worship or act of veneration that is done in order to seek reward, or that involves imitating the people of the Jaahiliyyah or similar kaafir groups is a forbidden act of innovation (bid’ah) and is included in the general meaning of the hadeeth in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Whoever innovates something in this matter of ours (Islam) that is not part of it will have it rejected.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim).

Examples of that include celebrating the Mawlid (Prophet’s birthday), Mother’s Day, and national days, because in the first case (Prophet’s birthday) that means worshipping in a manner that Allaah has not prescribed, and because it involves imitating the Christians and other kaafirs, and in the second and third cases (Mother’s Day and national holidays) it means imitating the kaafirs. As for occasions which are intended to organize work, for example, in the best interests of the ummah, such as traffic week or training sessions for employees and so on, which are not intended as acts of worship or veneration at all, these are customary innovations which are not included in the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “Whoever innovates something in this matter of ours (Islam) that is not part of it will have it rejected,” so there is nothing wrong with such things, rather they are prescribed in Islam.

And Allaah is the Source of strength. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions.

Standing Committee for Academic Research and Issuing Fatwas,Fatawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 3/59, 61

2. They also said:

It is not permissible to celebrate the so-called Mother’s Day and similar innovated festivals because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever innovates something in this matter of ours (Islam) that is not part of it will have it rejected.” He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not celebrate Mother’s Day and neither did any of his companions (may Allaah be pleased with them) or the salaf (earliest generations) of this ummah. Rather it is an innovation (bid’ah) and imitation of the kuffaar.

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 3/86

3. Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz said:

I read the article published in the al-Nadwah newspaper on 30/11/1384 AH, entitled Takreem al-Umm… wa Takreem al-Usrah(Honouring mothers… and honouring families), and I found that the writer approved of some of the what the west has done by singling out one day in the year to celebrate mothers. He pointed out something that is ignored by those who want to introduce this holiday, which is the pain and grief which those children who have lost their mothers suffer when they see their peers celebrating and honouring their mothers. He suggested that this celebration should honour the entire family and explained that Islam did not prescribe this festival, because the Islamic sharee’ah enjoins honouring one’s mother.

The writer did well by explaining why it is not prescribed in Islam and in pointing out the downside of this festival, of which many were unaware, but he did not point out the innovations involved which go against the clear texts that were narrated from the Messenger of Islam (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or the harm that this causes, or the fact that it involves imitating the mushrikeen and kuffaar. So in these few words I wanted to point out to the writer and others the innovation in religion that is involved in this bid’ah and others that have been introduced by the enemies of Islam and those who are ignorant of it in order to damage its reputation and put people off Islam, and the confusion and division that have resulted from that, the extent of whose damage and corruption no one knows except Allaah.

It is proven in the saheeh ahaadeeth that the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned against innovations in religion and against imitating the enemies of Allaah, the Jews, Christians and other mushrikeen. For example, he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Whoever innovates something in this matter of ours (Islam) that is not part of it will have it rejected.” According to a version narrated by Muslim “Whoever does something that is not in accordance with this matter of ours (Islam) will have it rejected.”

What this means is that it will be rejected and thrown back on the one who innovated it. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say in his Jumu’ah (Friday) khutbah: “The best of speech is the Book of Allaah and the best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The worst of matters are those which are newly-innovated and every innovation is a going astray.” This was narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh. Undoubtedly singling out one day in the year to celebrate and honour mothers or families is one of the newly-innovated matters that were not done by the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or by his blessed companions, so we must not do that and we must warn the people against it, and be content with that which Allaah and His Messenger have prescribed.

We have noted above that the writer stated that the Islamic sharee’ah enjoins respecting one’s mother and commands Muslims to honour their mothers all the time. He is correct on this point. The Muslims have to be content with that which Allaah has enjoined upon them of honouring and venerating their mothers, and treating them kindly, and obeying them when they tell them to do good all the time, and of avoiding innovated matters of which Allaah has warned them and which lead to imitation of the enemies of Allaah and following their paths and approving of the innovations of which they approve.

That does not apply only to mothers, rather Allaah has commanded the Muslims to honour and respect both parents and to treat them kindly, to uphold ties of kinship with all relatives. And Allaah has warned them against disobeying parents and severing the ties of kinship, but He has singled out the mother for more care and honour, because she takes more care of the child and because the hardships she faces in bearing, nursing and raising the child are greater. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents”

[al-Isra’ 17:23]

“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination”

[Luqmaan 31:14]

“Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship?

Such are they whom Allaah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight”

[Muhammad 47:22-23]

It was narrated in a saheeh hadeeth that the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Shall I not tell you of the greatest of major sins?” They said, “Yes, O Messenger of Allaah.” He said, “Associating others in worship with Allaah, and disobeying one’s parents.” He was reclining, but he sat up and said, “And false speech and false witness.” A man asked him (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saying, “O Messenger of Allaah, who among the people is most deserving of my good company?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Then your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Then your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Then your father, then the next closest and the next closest.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“No one who severs the ties of kinship will enter Paradise.” And it was reported in a saheeh hadeeth that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever would like his provision to be increased and his life to be made long, let him uphold the ties of kinship.”

There are many well-known aayahs and ahaadeeth which speak of honouring one’s parents and upholding the ties of kinship, and which affirm the rights of mothers. Those which we have quoted above are sufficient. They will prove to the one who ponders their meanings that it is obligatory to honour and respect both parents, and to treat them and all other relatives kindly at all times. They teach us that disobeying parents and severing the ties of kinship are among the worst characteristics and major sins which deserve the punishment of Hell and the wrath of Allaah. We ask Allaah to keep us safe from that.

This is better and more eloquent than the western innovation of singling out just one day in the year for honouring one’s mother, then neglecting her for the rest of the year, whilst also ignoring the rights of fathers and other relatives. The great mischief that results from this will be obvious to anyone who has insight, along with the fact that it is contrary to the laws of the Wisest of rulers and is bound to cause that which His trustworthy Messenger warned us against.

Similar to this are the innovations which many people follow, such as celebrating the Prophet’s birthday, or the anniversary of the country’s independence, or the accession of the king, and so on. All of these are innovations in which the Muslims are imitating others, namely the enemies of Allaah. They ignore the warning which Islam brought against that and the prohibition of such things. This confirms the saheeh hadeeth in which the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You will certainly follow the ways of those who came before you, step by step, until even if they entered the hole of a lizard, you will do so too.” We asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, (do you mean) the Jews and the Christians?” He said, “Who else?”  According to another version, “My ummah will follow in the footsteps of those who came before it, handspan by handspan, cubit by cubit.” It was asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, the Persians and Romans?” He said, “Who else?”

What the most truthful one (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said has indeed come to pass, as this ummah – except for those whom Allaah wills – have followed those who came before them, the Jews, Christians, Magians and other kaafirs, in many of their characteristics and actions, until Islam has become like a stranger and the teachings, morals and actions of the kuffaar have become better in the minds of many people than the ways of Islam, and good has become evil and evil has become good, Sunnah has become an innovation and bid’ah has become the way of many people, because of ignorance and turning away from the noble morals and righteous deeds taught by Islam. “Truly, to Allaah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return” [al-Baqarah 2:156 – interpretation of the meaning; words uttered at times of calamity]

We ask Allaah to enable the Muslims to understand their religion, and to improve their situation, and to guide their leaders, and to help our scholars and writers to spread word of the beauties of our faith and to warn against the bid’ahs and innovations which tarnish its reputation and put people off, for He is able to do all things. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon His slave and Messenger Muhammad and upon his family and companions, and those who follow his path and adhere to his Sunnah until the Day of Judgement.

(Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 5/189)

4. Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan said:

Matters which involve imitation of the kuffaar include imitating them in matters of worship, such as matters of shirk like erecting structures and shrines over graves and exaggerating concerning them. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “May the curse of Allaah be upon the Jews and the Christians, for they have taken the graves of their Prophets as places of worship.” And he said that if a righteous man among them died, they would build a place of worship over his grave and put images in it, and they are the most evil of mankind. There occur many actions which are tantamount to major shirk because of exaggeration concerning graves, because of that imitation of the Jews and Christians.

That also includes imitating them in mushrik and innovated festivals, such as the Mawlid celebrations on the birthday of the Messenger(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or the birthdays of presidents and kings. Some of these innovated or mushrik festivals may be known as “days” or “weeks”, such as the National Day or Mother’s Day or Cleanliness Week and so on. All of these occasions have been imported to the Muslims from the kuffaar, because in Islam there are only two festivals: Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha. Everything else is an innovation (bid’ah) and imitation of the kuffaar. The Muslims must beware of that and not be influenced by the large numbers of so-called Muslims who do that and are ignorant of the true teachings of Islam, and who do such things because of ignorance, or who are not ignorant of the true teachings of Islam but do these things deliberately, in which case the matter is more serious.

“Indeed in the Messenger of Allaah (Muhammad) you have a good example to follow for him who hopes for (the Meeting with) Allaah and the Last Day, and remembers Allaah much”

[al-Ahzaab 33:21 – interpretation of the meaning]

From a khutbah entitled al-Hathth ‘ala Mukhaalifat al-Kuffaar (Urging the Muslims to be different to the kaafirs)

5. Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen was asked about the ruling on celebrating so-called Mother’s Day. He replied:

All festivals that go against the festivals that are prescribed in Islam are bid’ahs and innovations that were not known at the time of the righteous salaf, and they may have come from the non-Muslims, in which case as well as being innovations they also entail imitating the enemies of Allaah. The Islamic festivals are well known to the Muslims, namely Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha, and the weekly festival (Jumu’ah or Friday). There are no other festivals in Islam apart from these three. All festivals which have been introduced apart from these are to be rejected and are false according to the law of Allaah, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever innovates something in this matter of ours (Islam) that is not part of it will have it rejected,” i.e., it will be thrown back at him and will not be accepted by Allaah. According to another version,

“Whoever does something that is not in accordance with this matter of ours (Islam) will have it rejected.”

Once this is clear, it is not permissible to celebrate the holiday mentioned in the question, which is known as Mother’s Day, and it is not permissible to introduce any of the symbols of that holiday such as expressing joy and happiness, giving gifts and so on.

The Muslim must be proud of his religion and adhere to the limits set by Allaah for His slaves, without adding anything or taking anything away. Moreover, the Muslim should not be weak and spineless, following anyone who makes noise, rather he should mould his character according to the sharee’ah of Allaah so that he will be followed, not following, and so that he will be an example, not one who follows the example of others, because the sharee’ah of Allaah – praise be to Allaah – is perfect in all ways, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion”

[al-Maa’idah 5:2]

Mothers deserve more than to be honoured on just one day of the year, rather mothers have rights over their children, who should look after them, take care of them and obey them, so long as that does not involve disobeying Allaah, at all times and in all places.

Fataawa Islamiyyah, 1/124; Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 2/301, 302

6. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said, commenting on a similar topic:

From this the perfection of Islamic sharee’ah should be clear to you, and you should be able to understand some of the wisdom behind the commands of Allaah to His Messenger to be distinct from the kuffaar and to differ from them in all ways, so that being different will become a protection against falling into evil and into the same things as other people did. If a Muslim’s wife or children ask him to do any of these things, he should remind them of the festivals that are prescribed in Islam and be generous to them on those occasions so that they will no longer look for other occasions. If they do not accept that, then there is no power and no strength except with Allaah. Whoever upsets his family for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will make him pleased and will make them pleased. Let the wise man beware of obeying women in such matters. In al-Saheehayn it was narrated that Usaamah ibn Zayd said:

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I am not leaving behind any temptation that is more harmful to men than women.”

Most of the mischief caused to kings and states is because of obeying women. In Saheeh al-Bukhaari it is narrated that Abu Bakrah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No people will ever prosper who appoint a woman as their leader.”

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to the Mothers of the Believers, when they double checked with him concerning the issue of instructing Abu Bakr to lead the people in prayer, “You are (like) the companions of Yoosuf,” meaning that women’s nature is to keep bothering the wise man with their questions. As he said in another hadeeth: “I have never seen anyone lacking in reasoning and religious commitment and more overwhelming to a wise man than any one of you.”

Therefore Allaah reminded us of His blessing to Zaraiyya when He said (interpretation of the meaning):

One of the scholars said: A man should pray to Allaah and try his best to reform his wife. And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.”

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 25/324-326

And Allaah knows best.

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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

What does Islam say about “mothers”?


 

This is one of the most convincing things about Islam – the treatment of women in general and especially the high position mothers hold in Islam.

Amongst the clearest examples of Islam’s honoring women is the great status of the mother in Islam. Islam commands kindness, respect and obedience to parents and specifically emphasizes and gives preference to the mother as shall be shown in this article. Islam raises parents to a status greater than that found in any other religion or ideology.

The command to be good to one’s parents begins right from the Qur’an. Allah says:

“Worship God and join not any partners with Him; and be kind to your parents…” [Noble Quran 4:36]

The mention of servitude to parents follows immediately after servitude to God. This is repeated throughout the Qur’an.

“Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility and say, “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.” [Noble Quran 17:23-24]

The great scholar, Abu al-Faraj Ibn Al-Jawzî (d. 1201CE) explained:

To be kind to one’s parents is: to obey them when they order you to do something, unless it is something which Allah has forbidden; to give priority to their orders over voluntary acts of worship; to abstain from that which they forbid you to do; to provide for them; to serve them; to approach them with gentle humility and mercy; not to raise your voice in front of them; nor to fix your glance on them; nor to call them by their names; and to be patient with them. (Ibn al-Jawzî, Birr al-Wâlidayn)

The Qur’an emphasizes the great struggles the mother goes through for her child, to highlight the need for one to reciprocate their parents sacrifice for them:

“And We have enjoined on man [to be good] to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and his weaning was over two years. Be thankful to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.”[Noble Quran 31:14]

The renowned exegete, Shaykh Abdur-Rahman As-Sa’di (d. 1956), says about this verse:

{And to your parents} meaning, be kind to your parents, shower on them love, affection and piety, both in words and deeds, treat them with tender humility, provide for them and never harm them verbally nor physically. […] Then, Allah mentions the reason why we should be kind to our parents, when He says {His mother bore him in travail upon travail}, that is, the mother bore constant suffering; in pain and hardship from the first moment she felt the child moving in her womb to the worst pangs during the time of delivery. And {his weaning is for two years}, that is, during these two years the mother breast-feeds her child and looks after him/her. So after all the years of suffering, hardship, love and care, could we not, at least, compensate our mothers for what they have done for us and pay them back their rights? (Taysîr al-Karîm ar-Rahmân fî Tafsîr al-Kalâm al-Manân)

The Qur’an repeats its mention of the struggles of the mother in yet another passage:

“And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, “My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims.” [Noble Quran 46:15]

In connection to this passage, the late Grand Mufti of Pakistan, Shaykh Muhammad Shafy (d. 1976) wrote:

Mother has more rights than father


Although the first part of this verse is a command to do good to both the parents, the second sentence refers only to the hardships suffered by the mother, because they are unavoidable, and no child can be born without them. Every mother has to go through the problems of pregnancy and severe pains of delivery. As against this, it is not necessary for a father that he suffers any hardship in bringing up and educating the child, if he can afford to pay somebody else for these services. This is why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) has given more rights to the mother than anybody else. According to a hadîth he has said,

“Do good to and serve your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father, then the near relatives and then those who come after them.”[Mazhari]

The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) continually used to remind his followers of the status of the mother and the obligation of being good to one’s parents. The following narration is a beautiful example of the noble position of the mother:

A man came to the Prophet and said: O Messenger of Allah! Who from amongst mankind warrants the best companionship from me? He replied: “Your mother.” The man asked: Then who? So he replied: “Your mother.” The man then asked: Then who? So the Prophet replied again: “Your mother.” The man then asked: Then who? So he replied: “Then your father.” (Sahîh Bukhârî 5971 and Sahîh Muslim 7/2)

Commenting on this hadith, Shaykh Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimi notes:

This hadith confirms that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) gave precedence to kind treatment of one’s mother over kind treatment of one’s father (Al-Hashimi, The Ideal Muslimah, IIPH 2005, p. 165)

Likewise, the late Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia, Shaykh Abdul-Azîz Ibn Bâz (d. 1999) comments on this hadith saying:

So this necessitates that the mother is given three times the like of kindness and good treatment than the father. (Majmoo’ Fataawaa wa Maqalat Mutanawwi’ah)

He also writes:

The secret of her importance lies in the tremendous burden and responsibility that is placed upon her, and the difficulties that she has to shoulder – responsibilities and difficulties some of which not even a man bears. This is why from the most important obligations upon a person is to show gratitude to the mother, and kindness and good companionship with her. And in this matter, she is to be given precedence over and above the father.[…] And I have no doubt that my mother – may Allah shower His mercy upon her – had a tremendous effect upon me, in encouraging me to study; and she assisted me in it. May Allah greatly increase her reward and reward her with the best of rewards for what she did for me. (Majmoo’ Fatawa wa Maqalat Mutanawwi’ah)

The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) also said in a famous narration:

‘Paradise lies at the feet of your mother’ [Musnad Ahmad, Sunan An-Nasâ’i, Sunan Ibn Mâjah]

What can be greater evidence of honoring women than this? Islam has effectively placed the ultimate reward for human beings in their devotion to their mothers.

Shaykh Ibrahîm Ibn Sâlih Al-Mahmud writes:

Treat your mother with the best companionship, then your father; because paradise is under the mother’s feet. Never disobey your parents, nor make them angry, otherwise you will live a miserable life in this world and the hereafter, and your children will treat you likewise. Ask your parents gently if you need something. Always thank them if they give it to you, and excuse them if they do not, and never insist on a matter if they refuse to give you something. (Al-Mahmoud, How to be kind to your Parents, p.40)

It is related from Talhah ibn Mu’âwiyah as-Salamî who said:

I came to the Prophet and said, “O Messenger of Allah, I want to perform Jihad in the way of Allah. He asked, “Is your mother alive?” I replied, “Yes.” The Prophet then said: “Cling to her feet, because paradise is there.” (at-Tabarânî).

Shaykh Nidhaam Sakkijihaa comments:

Cling to her feet means to submit yourself to her, be close to her, protect her, serve her because in this is Paradise and with her satisfaction you will enjoy the good blessings of Allah. (Sakkijihaa, Honoring the Parents, p. 52)

The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) showed us the importance of serving one’s parents in the following narration reported by Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud:

I asked the Prophet, ‘O Messenger of Allah, what is the best deed?’ He replied ‘Prayer offered on time.’ I asked, ‘What is next in goodness?’ He replied, ‘To be dutiful and kind to one’s parents.’ I further asked, ‘What is next in goodness?’ He replied, ‘Jihad in the Allah’s cause. [Sahîh Bukhârî, Sahîh Muslim]

Just as the Prophet said that kindness to one’s parents was of the best deeds, he also said that disobedience to them was amongst the major sins:

“The greatest sins are to associate partners in worship with Allah, to be undutiful or unkind to one’s parents, to kill a soul forbidden by Allah and to bear false witness.” [Sahîh Bukhârî]

Even after the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), the Muslim scholars continued to stress the importance of being dutiful to one’s mother. By examining the conduct and teachings of the early Muslim scholars, one may see how the direct recipients of the Islamic message understood the command to be dutiful to one’s parents. Their behavior towards their parents shows Muslims how one is to implement the teachings of the Prophet on honoring parents.

Abdullah Ibn Abbâs (d. 687CE), a companions of the Prophet and a great scholar of Islam, considered kind treatment of one’s mother to be the best deed for strengthening or rectifying one’s relation with God. He said:

I know of no other deed that brings people closer to Allah than kind treatment and respect towards one’s mother. [Al-Adab al-Mufrad Bukhârî 1/45]

An even more powerful example is found in the statement of another one of the Prophet’s companions, Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar (d. 692CE), who was also a great scholar of Islam. It has been related that:

Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar saw a Yemeni man performing Tawâf (circumambulating the Ka’bah) while carrying his mother on his back. This man said to Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar, “I am like a tame camel for her! I have carried her more than she carried me. Do you think I have paid her back, O Ibn ‘Umar?” Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar replied, “No, not even one contraction!!” [Al-Adab al-Mufrad Bukhârî 1/62]

SubhânAllah (Glory be to God)! The efforts of a man who carries his mother on his back while performing tawâf cannot even repay his mother for a single contraction that she went through for him. Wise indeed was Ibn ‘Umar’s reply to this man to show him how massively indebted he was to his mother. This is the tremendous value and prestigious position of mothers in Islam!

Yet another example is found in the following prophecy of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him):

There will come to you with reinforcements from Yemen a man called Uways ibn ‘Âmir of the clan of Murâd from the tribe of Qaran. He had leprosy but has been cured of it except for a spot the size of a coin. He has a mother and he has always treated her with kindness and respect. If he prays to Allah, Allah will fulfill his wish. If you can ask him to pray for forgiveness for you, then do so. [Sahîh Muslim 16/95]

Indeed, later on ‘Umar ibn al-Khattâb met Uways who was exactly as the Prophet described, and upon ‘Umar’s request Uways prayed for him. Commenting on this narration, Shaykh Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimî writes:

What a high status Uways reached by virtue of his kindness and respect towards his mother, so that the Prophet recommended his Sahabah [companions] to seek him out and ask him to pray for them!

All of this indicates the high status to which Islam has raised the position of motherhood, and given the mother precedence over the father. At the same time, Islam has given importance to both parents, and has enjoined kindness and respect to both. (Al-Hashimi, The Ideal Muslimah, IIPH 2005, p. 167)

So great was the Islamic emphasis on parents, that the Muslims considered a great opportunity to attain paradise in service to one’s mother. Iyâs Ibn Mu’âwiyah was a famous Islamic scholar from the second generation of Muslims. When his mother died, Iyâs Ibn Mu’âwiyah cried. He was asked, “Why do you cry?” He said, “I used to have two gates open to Paradise, now one of them is closed.”

Zayn al-‘Abidîn (d. 713CE) was the great grandson of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and also a renowned scholar. He used to treat his mother with so much kindness and love as seen in the following narration:

Once he was asked, ‘You are the most kind person to his mother, yet we have never seen you eating with her from a single dish.’ He replied, ‘I fear that my hand would take the what her eyes have already seen in the dish, and then I would be disobeying her’. [At-Tartushi, Birr al-Wâlidayn]

In other words, he was so careful not to disobey his mother that he would even avoid eating out of the same plate as her; He thought that she would see a morsel and intend to take it, but before she did he might unknowingly take that same morsel and eat it. This is how careful he was to obey his mother in the most minute details.

Another early Islamic scholar, Sa’îd Ibn Al-Musayyib (d. 709CE), was asked about the meaning of the verse “but address them in terms of honor” (17:23). Sa’îd Ibn Al-Musayyib replied:

It means that you should address them as a servant addresses his master.

Muhammad Ibn Sirîn (d. 729CE) used to speak to his mother in a very soft voice, out of respect for her. He was also often seen in the company of his mother and looking after her. (Ibn al-Jawzî, Birr al-Wâlidayn)

All that has preceded shows how the status of mothers – and consequently that of women – is elevated to the highest position in Islam. The honor Islam has given to mothers is beyond that found in any other religion, ideology or culture. This is clear proof of the lofty status of Muslim Women.


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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

10 Things You Can Do For Your Mother

Often, moms do virtually all of the giving and very little, if any, of the taking from their families. They may not say it, but most of them want to be appreciated in small ways. You don’t have to buy them a car or a house (you could do that too), but it’s the small things that count with mom.


Here are some ideas of how you can let mom know that all of her giving has and continues to be appreciated.

1. Give mom a vacation

Don’t think Hawaii. Think of a day away from the kitchen. Or the home. Give her a vacation from the home where for her, most of the seemingly endless housework is done daily. Or, if she doesn’t want that, start doing your share around the house. Maybe you could start giving her one day of the week off, when she does no cooking or household chores. Remember, fathers and husbands work hard at the office, but they get a two-day weekend in most cases. Moms usually don’t even get a full day off. And if they are also working outside, it’s like two full time jobs.

2. Let’s hear her life story: a mom’s circle

She may have read you bedtime stories when you were small, but now it’s time for her to tell you a different story-about herself. Make a mom’s circle at home in which you ask her to tell her life story. Mom’s circle may actually turn into a project: one family member could write this up into a report, another could make a story book out of it and a third could video/audio record it. A mom’s circle may become an ongoing family tradition.

3. Try beating mom’s cooking

While most moms ask their kids what they want to eat, turn the tables around and do the same for her. Is there special food your mom likes? Buy or prepare that food for her (if you are not the best of cooks, maybe it’s safer to just buy it).

4. Is your mom in a nursing home

If your mom is in a nursing home, why not plan to bring her home for a weekend visit to stay with you. Even better, why not make this a weekly, or twice a month set up, so you can spend more time with her and she can be around those who really love her more often? Of course the ultimate gift will be if you can liberate her from that nursing home so she can stay in her room in your own home.

5. Arrange a mammogram for her

Every three minutes, a woman in America is diagnosed with breast cancer. That woman could be your mom.

A woman’s chances of developing breast cancer increases with age. The National Cancer Institute recommends women age 40 and over be screened with mammography every one to two years. It also advises that women at higher risk of breast cancer get medical advice before they are 40 about when to begin screening and about the frequency of their screening. Do this for your mom, so you can see her spend the rest of her life in good health, Insha Allah (if God wills).

6. Is your mom a bookworm?

If so, buy a small cabinet and buy all of the books you can afford. Then take it to her home and set it up for her.

7. If your mom is a non-Muslim

If your mom is a non-Muslim, try fasting for a day (Nafil or extra fasting), and keep thinking and praying for her. Ask Allah that He guides her and ask Him what you can do to help her understand her own Creator.

8. If your relationship has not been the best with your Mom

If your relationship with your mom has not been the best, sit down in front of a year-long calendar or planner and mark down dates and things which you can plan to improve this relationship. Start off by making a formal first appointment. Then pick dates on which you can keep contact with her and build your relationship on a regular basis.

9. If mom is not alive

If your mom is not alive, visit her relatives and friends and ask what you can do for them. Consider these two Hadiths (sayings of the Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him):

1. The Messenger of Allah said: When a person dies, his actions come to an end, except for three things: a continuing Sadaqa (charity), knowledge from which benefit is still being derived, and a righteous child who prays for her or him (translated meaning from Muslim).

2. Abu Usaid Saidi said: We were once sitting with Rasulullah when a man from the tribe of Salmah came and said to him: O Messenger of Allah! do my parents have rights over me even after they have died? And Rasulullah said:

Yes. You must pray to Allah to bless them with His Forgiveness and Mercy, fulfill the promises they made to anyone, and respect their relations and their friends (Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah).

10. Pick up her feet and spread the word

The Prophet Muhammad said: Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother (Ahmad, Nasai). Ask your mom to lift her feet, so you can locate where Jannah is. Then tell others about your discovery by sharing what Islam has to say about moms and their importance in our lives.

Do love your mother , never misbehave & disobey her because….i think u know!  🙂

” YOUR HEAVEN LIES UNDER THE FEET OF YOUR MOTHER “
(AHMAD, NASAI)

Dua from Quran for Parents

Make this dua for ur both parents…

[17:24] And lower for them the wings of humility, and kindness, and say, “My Lord, have mercy on them, for they have raised me from infancy.”

Ameen,
JazakAllah khair for reading!

King
slave of ALLAH SWT!

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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

The Lord’s Pleasure is connected to the parents’ pleasure

This Article is really imp,and everyone must read it…as there are many muslims who don;t treat there parents well…so lets read…


Allah (SWT) speaks about the importance of honouring one’s parents in the Qur`an, placing it second only to the worship of and pleasing Him.

“Worship Allah and join not any partners with him; and do good to parents…” [An-Nisa 4:36]

“Your Rabb has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to your parents…” [Al-Isra’ 17:23]

“And we have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command) ‘Show gratitude to Me and to your parents – to Me is (your final) Goal.'” [Luqman 31: 14]

The Example of the Prophets & earlier generations

How do we love, respect and revere our parents? We should take the cue from the Prophets (AS) and the righteous generations who fully understood our parents’ exalted position and strove hard to fulfil their rights.

Allah praised Yahya (AS) for he was kind to his parents in their old age –

“And (Prophet Yahya was) dutiful towards his parents and he was neither arrogant nor disobedient (to Allah or to his parents).” [Maryam 19: 14]

He also singled out `Isa (AS) who was devoted to his mother – “…And dutiful to my mother, and made me not arrogant, unblest.” [Maryam 19:32]

Asir ibn Jaabir (RA) narrated:

Whenever people would come from Yemen, `Umar (RA) would ask them, “Is Uways Al-Qaranee amongst you?” until, one year, he met Uways. He said, “Are you Uways Al-Qaranee?” He said, “Yes.” `Umar continued, “From Muraad, then Qaran?” He said, “Yes.” `Umar then asked, “Were you once afflicted with leprosy and your skin healed except for a dirham’s area?” Uways said, “Yes.” `Umar finally asked, “Do you have a mother (that is alive)?” He said, “Yes.” `Umar then said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah – (SAW) – say, ‘Uways ibn Aamir will come to you with the delegations from Yemen, from Muraad, then from Qaran. He was once afflicted with leprosy and his skin healed except for a dirham’s area. He has a mother, and he treats her kindly. If he was to ever swear by Allah (for something) Allah would fulfill his oath. If you can, request that he ask forgiveness for you.” `Umar then requested from Uways, “Ask forgiveness for me.” And Uways Al-Qaranee did.

Look at how Allah honoured Uways – he fulfilled his every du`aa because he was dutiful to his mother.


Beware of `Uquq!


Al-Hasan al-Basri said,

“Birr towards parents entails obeying their orders, except when what they order is in disobedience of Allah. In contrast, `Uquq entails neglecting parents and withholding one’s kindness from them.” [Ad-Durr al-Manthur]

In fact, disobeying our parents is a grievous sin

Abu Bakrah Nufay’ ibn al-Harith said,

“The Messenger of Allah (SAW) asked us three times, ‘Shall I tell you the greatest sins?’ We said, ‘Yes, O Messenger of Allah!’ He said, “Associating partners with Allah and disobeying one’s parents.” [Bukhari & Muslim]

The Prophet (SAW) reminded us not to incur our parents’ displeasure when he said,

“The Lord’s Pleasure is connected to the parents’ pleasure and the Lord’s Anger is connected to the parents’ anger.” [Kitabul-Kabair]

Look at this narration of Abdullah ibn Abu Aufa about the man who had wounded his mother’s feelings:

A man said, “O Allah’s Messenger! There s a young man who is dying and is commanded to recite La ilaaha illallah, but he is unable to recite it.” The Prophet (SAW) went to the young man and ordered him, “Say La ilaaha illallah!” He replied, “I cannot.” The Prophet asked him why and he said, “Every time I want to recite it, my heart is prevented from doing so.” The Prophet asked him why and he said, “Because of my `uquq (undutiful treatment) towards my mother.”

The Prophet (SAW) sent for her and asked her, “What if I commanded that a great fire is started and you were asked to invoke Allah to forgive your son, or else he would be thrown in it?” She said, “In that case, I will invoke Allah for him, O Allah’s Messenger!” The Prophet then said, “Then bear witness to Allah and then to me that you have forgiven him.” She said, “I bear witness to You (O Allah) and then to Your Messenger that I have forgiven my son.”

The Prophet (SAW) said to the young man, “Say La ilaaha illallah!” The man said, ” La ilaaha illallahu wahdahu la sharika lahu! (There is no deity worthy of worship but Allah Alone without partners)” The Prophet (SAW) said thrice, “All praise is due to Allah for saving you from the Fire.” [At-Tabarani]

The fact of the matter is that no matter what and how much we do, we can never fully repay our parents for all that they have done for us.

Ibn `Umar saw a Yemeni making tawaf of the Ka`bah, carrying his mother. The man said, “I have carried her more than she carried me. Do you think that I have paid her back, O Ibn `Umar?” He replied, “No, not even one contraction. However, you have done good and Allah will reward you tremendously for the little that you could do.” [Al-Kaba’ir]

Birr Towards Our Parents

There are many ways in which we can be dutiful to our parents. This list is by no means exhaustive:

1. Go to every extent to please them

We should make our parents’ happiness and comfort a topmost priority. Dhibyaan ibn `Ali ath-Thawri (RA) used to travel with his mother to Makkah. When they rested, he would dig a little pool, fill it with cool water and invite his mother to sit in it so she could be protected from the searing heat.

Mu`awiyah ibn Qurrah used to praise his son saying, “What an excellent son, he took care of my life affairs for me and that allowed me to concentrate on matters of the Hereafter.” [Hilyatul-Auliya’]

2. Protect their feelings

We should never cause our parents grief or hurt them even by a fraction. Allah said,

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them, ‘Uff’ nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy and say, ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’ …” [Al-Isra’ 17: 17:23-24]

Ibn `Umar also said, “Bringing tears to parents is a part of `Uquq and a major sin.” [Bukhari]

3. Address them respectfully

When asked how one can address one’s parents in “terms of honour”, Sa`id ibn Musayyab (RA) said, “It means that you address them as a servant addresses a master.

Indeed, the early generations were so respectful that they were almost submissive and obsequious to their parents, no matter how high a status they themselves had attained.

Abu Bakr ibn Ayyash said, “I used to sit with Mansur (a scholar) in his house and would hear his mother, who was loud and rude, shout at him, “O Mansur! Ibn Hubairah (governor of Iraq at that time) appointed you to the post of judge but you refuse.’ Mansur would not even look her in the eye out of respect.” [Al-Birr was-Silah by Ibn al-Jawzee]

Ibn Sirin used to speak to his mother in such a soft voice that it seemed as though he were ill.

4. Visit them regularly

Remember that severing ties of kinship is a major sin. For those of us who do not live with our parents, we would do well to look in on them regularly.

Abu Hurairah (RA) had a beautiful relationship with his mother. He lived in the house next to hers and would make it a point to stand at her door whenever he went out and say,

“Peace be unto to you, my mother, and Allah’s mercy and blessings.” She would reply, “Peace be unto you and Allah’s mercy and blessings.” He would then say, “May Allah grant you His Mercy for raising me when I was young,” and she would reply, “May Allah grant you His Mercy for being dutiful to me when you grew up.” Abu Hurairah would often repeat this statement when he went in or out. [Bukhari]

5. Make du`aa for them

Abu Dardaa (RA) has reported that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said,

“The du`aa of a Muslim for another Muslim (in his absence) is responded to, as long as he makes du`aa for goodness and blessings. And the angel says, “Aameen! And may the same be for you too!” [Muslim]

6. Continue doing good for them even after they die

The Prophet (SAW) said: “When a person dies, all his deeds come to an end except three: sadaqah jaariyah (ongoing charity, e.g. a waqf or endowment), beneficial knowledge (which he has left behind), or a righteous child who will pray for him.” [Tirmidhi]

We should not cease to seek forgiveness for our deceased parents, for the Prophet (SAW) said:

A man’s status will be raised in Paradise and he will ask, ‘How did I get here?’ He will be told, ‘By your son’s du’aa’s (prayers) for forgiveness for you.” [Ibn Maajah]

We can also perform acts of charity on their behalf. Ibn ‘Abbaas (RA)ma reported that the mother of Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah (RA)ma died when he was away from her. He said:

“O Messenger of Allaah, my mother has died and I am away from her. Will it benefit her anything if I give in charity on her behalf?” He said, “Yes.” He said, “Then I ask you to be my witness that I am giving my garden al-Mikhraaf (so called because it bore so many dates) in charity on her behalf.” [Al-Bukhari]

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