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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

Sharia: A Practical Guide

Commonly asked questions regarding Sharia and Islam

How did Sharia start?

What, nowadays, is the authoritative source of Sharia?

What are the basic principles of Sharia?

Adultery
Murder
Zinah (sexual offences)
Is Sharia the same in all countries?
Individual rights vs needs of society?
Does Sharia make life easier or harder for the ordinary Muslim?
Why has Sharia become a synonym for cruelty and lack of compassion?
Sharia and dress
Forced and arranged marriages
Men having many wives?
Is it easier for men to divorce?
Sharia and food
The Prophet’s wife Aishah

In countries where Sharia law is enforced, how are specific punishments decided on and who makes these decisions?

Would many Muslims in Britain be in favour of Sharia law being implemented here?

What areas of law do Muslims in Britain think are mishandled by British state law?

How did Sharia start?

The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) laid down the laws – some of them were direct commands stated in the revelation of the Qur’an; other laws grew up based on the Prophet’s own example and the various rulings he gave to cases that occurred during his lifetime. These secondary laws are based on what’s called the Sunnah – the Prophet’s words, example, and way of life.

So, all the laws of Sharia are based primarily on Qur’an and then on Sunnah, and after that, if there was no information in those two sources, judges were free to use their intelligence to make analogies. As in most legal systems, cases could then be referred to by later judges.

What, nowadays, is the authoritative source of Sharia?

Just the same as outlined above. What is important, however, is that judges are highly educated in Islamic law and jurisprudence, and this is an area where some damage was done during the colonial periods when Islamic schools of law were closed down with a great loss of knowledge and expertise which is only now being repaired slowly. The problem is that it is all too easy for an individual judge to make some pronouncement or invoke some penalty without full knowledge of the background of Sharia and the spirit behind the various laws and penalties.

What are the basic principles of Sharia?

These are to see the will of God done on earth as it is in Heaven (as in the Christian Lord’s Prayer). How can we possibly know this will? By study of the revealed scriptures and by choosing talented, intelligent and far-sighted merciful people of excellent character as our judges. The whole principle of God’s will is to bring about compassion, kindness, generosity, justice, fair play, tolerance, and care in general, as opposed to tyranny, cruelty, selfishness, exploitation etc. All the rules of Sharia are towards those ends.

The usual criticisms of Sharia – that it is so cruel as regards execution, flogging and cutting off hands, totally ignore all the extenuating circumstances that would lead to these penalties not being applied – they are known as hadd penalties (pl. hudud), the hadd being the extreme limit of the penalty. Thus, if a person was sentenced to having a hand cut off, he or she should not be sent to prison and/or be fined as well. People who regard these practices as cruel will never be persuaded otherwise, so Muslims usually leave that aside.

Their point is that the cutting of the hand for theft is a very powerful deterrent – Muslims care less for the callous and continual thief than they do for the poor souls who are mugged and robbed and hurt by the thieves. The Middle East is certainly not full of one-handed people – as any traveler would tell you. What we have lost here is the horror of dishonor that true Muslims still have.

They would do anything rather than offend Allah, and they of course believe that Allah sees every single thing that is done – there are no secrets. Even if you get away with something on earth, it has been seen and recorded and you will have to face judgment for it eventually, and the people hurt by your action will be recompensed. Of course, if you do not believe in God, or a judgment, or a life to come, the whole system is quite meaningless to you. In Sharia law, if a thief could prove that he/she only stole because of need, then the Muslim society would be held at fault and made to supply that need, and there would be no hand-cutting. Most thieves would think twice before risking a hand on mugging an old lady for her handbag!

In the UK, we live in a society where anything not fixed down that you take your eyes off for a second would risk being stolen – in Muslim society this is not the case. Nobody wants to have a thief in their family, village, street or society. They despise thieves, and of course, they also despise rapists, murderers, and adulterers.

Adultery

In the west, adultery has become so commonplace because of sexual freedoms – all the emphasis these days seems to be on finding sexual satisfaction; in Muslim societies, there is far less emphasis on sex – it is usually regarded as a weakness that can lead to all sorts of trouble. Family is far more important; the notion of a million unborn children per year being aborted, and single mothers, is abhorrent in Islam.

Murder

Sharia law for murder allows the death penalty, but is kinder than western law in one respect – after judicial judgement has been made, appeals are then allowed to the family of the murdered victims, and they are begged to be merciful. In Islam, it is always regarded as the height of mercy to forgive a murderer, even though one may have the right to take his/her life in reprisal.

The form of execution is not specified in Islam – i.e. it is not usually a stoning. Beheading used to be regarded as the quickest and most merciful way (as in Roman law, and the French guillotine); these days other methods may find approval. There are apparently far less executions in most Muslim countries than in the USA, for example.

The penalty for adultery is open to debate. Most scholars will insist that the penalty as laid down in the Qur’an was 100 lashes, and there were various rules for regulating how lashes were to be given too. Other scholars maintain that the old penalty for adultery as laid down by the previous prophets was stoning (as in the Old Testament). By New Testament times, the prophet Jesus had the famous case where a guilty woman was forgiven and sent away, told only to sin no more.

In some Muslim societies, judges and populaces might stone out of mistaken belief that this was what Islam required. In fact, Islam made it virtually impossible – to be sentenced to death for adultery, the couple had to be actually witnessed performing the physical act by four people who were in a position to identify both parties without doubt; this virtually ruled out the penalty, since adultery is taken for granted as a secret act and something not done in public.

Zinah (sexual offences)

There is some confusion over the meaning of the word zinah – this means a sexual offence, ANY sexual offence, and includes not only adultery but also sex before marriage and rape. In rape cases, the witnesses are no longer relied on since forensic evidence and scientific analysis can usually nail the offender. There is no suggestion whatsoever, anywhere, in Islam for a death sentence being required for sex before marriage.

Sometimes family members can become very shocked and upset about the behaviour of those in their families that they feel have brought shame upon them and may take matters in their own hands. We hear of girls being shot by fathers and brothers because of the shame. Sometimes these girls had not even had sex at all, but had just been chatting to males, or behaving in what is regarded as a shameful manner.

Many Muslim societies take a fairly lenient view of fathers thus killing their daughters, in a similar way to the old UK society taking a more lenient view of ‘crimes of passion’. However, it is still murder, and not something allowed in Islam, and Sharia judges would be obliged to bring the murderers to judgment. Whether such a father would get two year’s probation or be sentenced to death for murder would depend on the court judge, and would be subject to all the usual appeal procedures.

Is Sharia the same in all countries?

I’m afraid I do not know the answer to this, but certainly the principles are exactly the same in whatever country they are applied.

Individual rights vs needs of society?

Basically in Islam the needs of society always come first, with the proviso that injustices should always be able to be taken to judges who are not corrupt. The old Arab system allowed any person, no matter how humble, to take his/her case to the highest in the land personally. Islam brings a very strong sense of justice, and care of the oppressed and exploited.

Does Sharia make life easier or harder for the ordinary Muslim?

Much easier for those who strive to live the correct life pleasing to God and in kindness and peace with the neighbor; much harder for the one who is selfish, callous, cruel, exploitative, dishonest etc. There is virtually no sympathy for such people – unless they really are mentally ill, in which case they are not regarded as culpable in Sharia. All those before the age of puberty, or not of sound mind, are not regarded as culpable.

Why has Sharia become a synonym for cruelty and lack of compassion?

I think through two things – ignorance of the reality of Sharia law, and much publicized cases where Muslims in positions of authority have been very poor Muslims, if not non-Muslims in Muslim disguise. For example, 100 years ago we had stories of awful Turkish sultans, and people being rushed to blocks to have their hands cut off etc.

The media picks out certain cases and blows them up to make a big drama of them – they might pick on one particular murderer on death row in the USA and rouse everyone’s feelings, but totally ignore all the others due to be executed that day! A case like the Nigerian woman in danger of being stoned for adultery is a case in point. She might have been stoned by irate villagers, but on being taken into custody and judged by Sharia law she gets the opportunity to appeal and explain etc.

In her case, if it is true that she was raped, she most certainly would not be sentenced to death. What interests me is who were the rotten people who brought the case against her anyway?

Incidentally the correct Islamic method of stoning according to Sharia was similar to that advised by the Pharisees at the time of Jesus – the person was held fast in a fixed position, and a stone or rock that it took two men to lift (i.e. was heavier than one man could lift alone) was to be dropped to crush the head – it was not someone tied to a post and rocks hurled at them, although this has been done in some cultures.

The point was that if someone really had to be executed, it was to be done swiftly, with as little torture as possible, and usually publicly so that no vindictive person could do further nasty things behind the scenes and get away with it.

Sharia should promote gender equality. In fact, the natural Islamic tendency is to always consider women as the weaker sex in need of care and protection, and come down hard on the men who allow their womenfolk to get into difficulties.

Dress

Sharia does not require women to wear a burqa. There are all sorts of items of dress which are worn by Muslim women, and these vary all over the world. Burqas belong to particular areas of the world, where they are considered normal dress. In other parts of the world the dress is totally different. The rule of dress for women is modesty, the word hijab implies ‘covered’.

Some Muslim women feel that they should cover everything from neck to ankle, and neck to wrist. Others also include a head veil (this is the most controversial bit, and millions of Muslim women choose to wear it, or alternatively choose not to wear it – and there is much disagreement between the types!), and finally some choose to cover even their faces, although there is no Islamic text requiring this extreme. My own preference is a long black dress and a white headscarf – I have never worn a burqa in my life. Incidentally, when men try to enforce Muslim dress on women, this is forbidden – no aspect of our faith is to be done by coercion. It is up to the woman what she chooses to do – some choose full hijab and their men hate it!

Forced and arranged marriages

In Sharia Law any marriage that is forced or false in any way is null and void. It is not a proper marriage. This is a problem that seems to plague Muslim women from India/Pakistan/Bangladesh and nowhere else in the Islamic world – and it also applies to Hindus and some Sikhs from those areas too.

Forced marriage is totally forbidden in Islam. False marriage is too – for example, some of our teenage girls are sent back to Pakistan for a holiday when they are about 15, and sign things they do not understand, and then find out later that they have been ‘married’ even if it has not been consummated. UK lawyers are getting far better at studying Sharia these days, in order to protect these girls from this particular culture.

Forced marriage is not at all the same thing as arranged marriage. Muslims from many countries have a system of arranged marriages, in which the spouses may not have seen each other before marriage, but it always has to be with their free consent. The Prophet himself advised prospective spouses to at least ‘look’ at each other, until they could see what it was that made them wish to marry that person as opposed to any other.

Women forced into marriage, or seeking divorce for general reasons, have the same sort of grounds in Sharia as in the west – cruelty, mental cruelty, adultery, abandonment, etc. They may even request a divorce for no specific reason whatever, so long as they agree to pay back the mahr (marriage payment) made to them by their husband if the husband does not wish to let them go but are obliged to.

Men having many wives?

Men and women can have as many spouses as they can fit into a lifetime; but this is not generally approved. Women are requested to have only one husband at a time (there is evidence that wealthy Arab women were polyandrous before the coming of Islam – certainly wealthy men were polygynous), and men are limited to four at one time, whereas previously there had been no limit, and a wealthy and generous man was expected to cater for as many women as he could afford (in the absence of a welfare state).

Allah sent the proviso that no Muslim was ever to deliberately cause hurt or harm to another Muslim, so a man might not take extra womenfolk into his home if it would cause upset and distress (it was recommended when there were lots of widows after warfare, if the women were willing to be generous to bereft ‘sisters’).

Also, if a man could not provide equal treatment of his wives – equal food, clothing, money, living quarters, time spent with – he was refused permission for polygamy. Equal sexual activity was not ruled on, however. Some wives had no sexual relationship with their husbands at all after a while, or if they came into the household as widows of relatives. Don’t forget that most widows also came with their children. When the Prophet married the widow Sawdah he took on six of her children, and with Umm Salamah another four, for example.

Is it easier for men to divorce?

Yes, to a certain extent – but because of various cultural reasons. Most Muslim women until very recently in the UK would have found it hard to live after divorcing a husband, because they did not own property, had no jobs to support themselves or were burdened with young children. The same is often true in many societies to this day where it is not the norm for women to go out to work.

In Sharia, the custody of the children would normally go to the mother, but the father would have to pay for their upkeep. If the woman remarried, the children might well go to their own father – all this puts a woman off divorce, because of financial circumstances.

Regarding grounds for divorce, they are virtually the same as in the west, including incompatibility, and living apart for a length of time. The caliphs (successors of The Prophet Muhammad) ruled that couples should not be separate for more than 4 months without permission, and if they were it was grounds for divorce. If the woman wanted divorce but the man did not, she could approach a religious judge and be granted divorce so long as she repaid the husband’s mahr. Some women only ask very little, a few pounds; others put a price of thousands of pounds on themselves. The Indian subcontinent seems to abuse this too – since some husbands do not seem to pay it at all, and others even expect the bride to pay money to the bridegroom or his father!! The very opposite of Sharia law.

Sharia and food

The rules are those of haram (banned) and halal (allowed). All vegetable, fruit, grain and seafood is halal. Meat is halal providing it has been killed in the kindest possible way by a sharp instrument that pierces and kills swiftly (sharp knife, bullet, sword), and the appropriate prayers are said at its death (or at the time of eating if one is not certain).

Muslims may not eat any food that has been sacrificed to idols (e.g. Hindu meat), but kosher is fine. They may not eat any pork product or flesh with blood undrained from it; the most extreme Muslims will not touch anything that has animal fat included – even a biscuit – in case it is pork lard or gelatin from an animal not killed in the halal manner. If Muslims eat haram food without realizing it is haram (i.e. some butchers ‘fake’ their halal tickets), they are not held to blame, but judged by their intention. In cases of necessity, Muslims may eat anything available, even pork, rather than suffer hardship. Alcohol is haram.

The Prophet’s wife Aishah

No-one is absolutely certain of her age when she married the Prophet, but it could have been as young as 6; some scholars believe she was ten years older. However, the majority go for the age of 6.

The marriage that took place then was an agreement on paper, there was no physical relationship until Aishah reached puberty – but this in itself could have been at around 9 or 10 years old. That is not an unusual age for menstruation to start in hot climates, and once a girl is capable of producing a child she is regarded as technically a woman.

Sex for children under 16 is forbidden by law in the UK at the moment, but this has not always been the case and it is nonsense to suppose that there is no sexual activity amongst children under 16 in this country. No-one is able to stop them and if the girls get pregnant they frequently have abortions.

In Muslim countries it is considered far better to get youngsters married as soon as they show inclinations to have sex – then they can have it honourably, as much as they like, and the children born are not bastards. Many Muslim countries in fact do try to keep to the age of about 16 for marriage (as is the legal age in the UK), and prefer not to marry off their girls too young. Some societies expect marriages to be life-partnerships, but in others divorces are frequent if things do not work out and girls choose other husbands.

In the Prophet’s day, the normal age for boys to marry was about 15 and girls between 13-15, although some girls preferred to defer the role until their twenties if they had their own money. Don’t forget, there was virtually no contraception and marriage implied having a baby every two years or so.

The used to feed babies as long as possible to avoid too frequent pregnancy. As far as I know, the Virgin Mary was around 12-13 when she had baby Jesus, and she was living with her husband in one of these non-physical arrangements. The Prophet was certainly not a pedophile! He did not marry his first wife until she was 40, and he had no other wife until she died at the age of 65; then his second wife was in her 40s, to help him out while he was a single parent!

In countries where Sharia law is enforced, how are specific punishments decided on and who makes these decisions?

The specific punishments are decided on by the lawyers of the land, many of whom have been educated and trained in the west!

Would many Muslims in Britain be in favour of Sharia law being implemented here?

I think many Muslims in the UK would be in favour of Sharia law being implemented here, but true Sharia law is only really possible in a Muslim society, not in a non-Muslim or mixed society. Flogging for public drunkenness, for example, might make some of our louts and cruel men folk think twice before acting as they do, and thinking nothing of it.

I once left my expensive camera on a wall in Egypt and it was gone when I returned for it – no big surprise. What was a surprise is that someone in that village found out where my coach had gone next and took the trouble to travel nearly 100 miles to find me and return the camera – they had picked it up for safe-keeping and did not want any of their summer tourists (it is hard for Egypt to get tourists in August!) to think there was a thief in their village! I was also very impressed by the way people just left shop tills and went off to mid-day prayers, trusting that no-one would steal their money or stock.

I don’t think lawyers in the UK would ever bring back the death sentence, but many people here think that they should. Personally, I could never bring a case against a man seeking his death for adultery, and I would not be willing to put even the worst of criminals to death myself.

I feel the electric chair is far more barbaric than stoning. Incidentally the correct Islamic method of stoning according to Sharia was similar to that advised by the Pharisees at the time of Jesus – the person was held fast in a fixed position, and a stone or rock that it took two men to lift (i.e. was heavier than one man could lift alone) was to be dropped to crush the head – it was not someone tied to a post and rocks hurled at them, although this has been done in some cultures.

The point was that if someone really had to be executed, it was to be done swiftly, with as little torture as possible, and usually publicly so that no vindictive person could do further nasty things behind the scenes and get away with it. People gathering at executions were often those who had come to pray for and support the person being executed and not just ghoulish onlookers. I would feel just the same about witnessing such an execution as I felt about hanging when it was done here. I prayed all night before the execution of Ruth Ellis, the last woman to be hung in the UK.

What areas of law do Muslims in Britain think are mishandled by British state law?

I think Muslims generally are shocked by the general lack of respect and discipline here, especially if they are immigrants and not born here. They are particularly shocked by lack of discipline in schools and the difficulties faced by so many teachers in getting children to behave in class and actually learn.

They are shocked by the appalling rates of theft, drunkenness, drug addiction, sex outside marriage, abortions, rape of children and old ladies, homosexuality – especially when it is being put forward as quite normal and an acceptable alternative sexual lifestyle; homosexuals in positions of authority (from teachers to MPs).

They are also shocked by the general lack of respect for those in authority, and older people in general. In Muslim homes, children would probably be expected not to smoke in front of parents, not to sit down or start eating before them. They are terrified of their girls being chatted up, taken advantage of and made pregnant by British boys and men, who seem to be uncontrollably predatory and often drunk.

by Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood

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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

How to Win others Hearts ?!

 

Here are 11 pieces of advice to help you in winning others hearts.These pieces of advice are like arrows that aim at shooting hearts as its only target mean here, to be the virtuous merits, that captivate others hearts and help in overcoming imperfections. Actually, such merits have their own effective power in charming hearts. 

O you who is in love with Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) and your brothers in Islam, here are the arrows; be careful with them, try hard to be a clever shooter… 

And pray to Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) to help you.

Smile : 

It is the first arrow and the fastest of them all. It is like the salt for food. It is also regarded as a kind of worship and alms-giving as is mentioned in a hadith 

“Smiling at your brother’s face is as charity (Sadaqa)”. 

Abdullah ibn al Harith tells us about the Prophet (peace be upon him) saying that he had never seen someone smile at the other’s face as the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) used to do.  Be always the one who initiates greetings:

This arrow is the one that lets you to be in the innermost depths of the others hearts. This arrow needs a skillful shooter. The needed skills are the hearty smile, the warm shaking of hands and the friendly welcoming to the other. Being successfully achieved, such kinds of skills are going to be rewarded, referring to the hadith: “In greetings, the better is he who initiates greeting the other”.

Umar al Nadi tells us that he went out once with Umar ibn al Khattab’s son. While walking, he found him saluting all whom he met, whether being old or young. Al Hasan al-Basri also said 

“Shaking hands strengthens brotherhood feelings”. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said “Do not ever waste your good deeds, even by meeting your brother with a frowning face.” He said also “Shaking hands removes hatred and exchanging presents enhances love and ends enmity”. 

The Presents: 

It has a strange charming affection that captivates all senses. Hence, exchanging presents and gifts in different occasions is a pleasant habit however gifts should be within one’s tolerable expenses. Ibrahim al Zahri tells us about his father saying “ My father got a sum of money as a reward , in due , he asked me to send donations to his family members and friends . As we were about to finish , he asked me “ Have we missed any one?” I answered “No!” He said “I think that we did.” He continued ”We have missed someone whose welcome to me was really warm. Would you please send him this sum of money?” 

Look how he loved the man and wished to reward him for his warm welcome. 

Be silent. Speak in what benefits: 

Loud voice and chattering are bad merits. You have to be sweet-worded, tender in expressing yourself. Concerning this merit, The Prophet (peace be upon him) said 

“The good word is a charity (is a sadaqa).” 

If the good word has its own magic in winning the hearts of your enemies how powerfully it would work then with your brothers’ hearts!! 

Here the Prophet’s wife addresses the enemies saying “Damn you” and the Prophet (peace be upon him) prevents her saying “Calm down. Allah likes for the matters to be dealt with gently”. He also said:

“Nobility of manners and taciturnity are the best of manners that people are ever characterized by”. 

The pious Allah-fearing may keep silent, in spite of being eloquent.

Be a good listener: 

It is to listen patiently and never interrupt the speaker, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) never interrupted a speaker till he ended his speech. And he who fights for this merit gains others love and admiration, whilst on the contrary is the one who chatters and interrupts the other. Atta` tells us about how he behaves concerning this merit and says “When someone speaks to me , I listen to him as if it is the first time I have heard this subject, though I have heard it thousands of times before. 

Appearance and dressing well: 

You have to be careful with your appearance so as to be neat, well –dressed and sweet smelling as well. The Prophet (peace be upon him) says that Allah loves beauty to be in every thing. Umar Ibn Al Khattab said also

 “I like the young man who is sweetly perfumed and cleanly dressed.”

Abdullah Ibn Ahmad Ibn Hanbal tells us about his father saying “ I’ve never seen some one who is as caring to the cleanliness of his dress , his hair , his moustache and other undesirable body hair as Ahmad Ibn Hanbal used to do” 

Being in others favor and helping them: 

Good treatment of the other is the only way of captivating his heart. 

Good treatment you classifies you as an obedient, beloved slave of Allah as the Prophet (peace be upon him) Muhammad says

“The more you are in favor of others, the more you are beloved by Allah” 

as Allah says in the Quran “And spend of your substance in the cause of Allah, and make not your own hands contribute to (your) destruction; but do good; for Allah loveth those who do good” (Al-Baqarah:195) 

A great poet said:
Be a dear friend to all, whom you know,
For all, you should be as freshening as iced pure water 
I really wonder for that man who pays money to buy slaves, while he can buy those who are free by being good to them, for those (who treat other well) find many to be in their help. 

Being Generous : 

Offering money is the key for most of the closed doors that hinder you from reaching others hearts, especially in these days. 

Now I will tell you a story about the magic of the merit of generosity. 

In the conquest of Makkah, there was a man called “Safwan Ibn Umia”. That man ran away after making all possible means in keeping the people of Islam and after making conspiracies to kill the Prophet (peace be upon him). Later on, the Prophet (peace be upon him) forgave him and he came back asking the Prophet (peace be upon him) to give him the time of two months to think about Islam and the Prophet (peace be upon him) said “You can take four months, not just two”. In spite of being an atheist, he accompanied the Prophet (peace be upon him) in the Hunain and Al Ta’if conquests. In Al Ta`if, while the Prophet (peace be upon him) was dividing the booties of the war, he noticed that man looking longingly to a vast land in which a large number of cattle were flocking. The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked him “Do you like it?” The man eagerly answered “Yes”. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said “It is for you then”. Safwan said “Only a prophet could behave as generously as you have to me. I believe that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is His prophet.” 

Notice how the Prophet (peace be upon him) found the missing key and succeeded in moving his heart. Some people behave stingily as if they see the ghost of poverty waiting to attack them once they think about being generous in offering money. 

To have a good opinion of others and to give them an excuse 

Keeping an eye on others behavior is a bad merit that blocks your way to their hearts. On the contrary is to have a good opinion of them. So, try hard to give your brothers the excuse as much as you can. Concerning this merit, Ibn Al Mubarak says also “The believer is he who gives his brothers the excuse , and the hypocrite is he who seeks their slips.” 

Express your feelings… instantly: 

If you loved someone, or felt good feelings about him, don’t wait, just tell him at once. Regarding this, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said 

“ If you felt the brotherly love of Islam towards any ,you should immediately go and tell him about your feelings”. 

He added “It is the way relations are to be strongly indicated”. Such love is to be blessed by Allah if it is for Allah’s sake, not for any other personal affairs such as seeking high position, money, fame etc…. Unless this love is for Allah’s sake, it is a fruitless kind of brotherhood then. When they meet each other on the Day of Judgement, they are not brothers any more but enemies, as Allah says in the Quran 

“ Friends on that Day will be foes, one to another; except the Righteous.” (Az-Zukhruf: 67) 

The Prophet (peace be upon him) says “A man is in the company of whom he loved”. By this he means that on the Day of Judgment, a person will be with whom he loved. So, we have to choose then between two kinds of societies, one is in enmity and the other is a kind brotherly one. Hence, we find that the Prophet (peace be upon him) associated the Makkan immigrants and the Medinan followers as brothers. It was a rare kind of brotherhood that even two brothers were to be buried together in one grave after being martyred in the conquests. Means of brotherhood was always being indicated by the Prophet (peace be upon him) as he says “You are not allowed to enter heaven till you believe in Allah and you will not be true believers unless you love each other. Shall I tell you something to do that indicates love between you? It is to spread salutation of Peace among you.” 

The pity is that people are always either cruelly and harshly treating each other or extremely tender that they adore each other. Actually, it is a matter of striking a balance between heart and mind, something that differs according to the difference of characters and circumstances. It is absolutely a blessing given by Allah. 

Sociability : 

It is the art of being social. Here, a kind of misconception could exist between sociability and hypocrisy. Could you differentiate between the two meanings? 

The Prophet (peace be upon him)’s wife, Aisha said “A man came to visit us, but to my surprise, once the Prophet (peace be upon him) saw him, he said “O…that ill- mannered man”, but the Prophet (peace be upon him) changed completely once he sat with him. He welcomed the man warmly, smiling in his face. When the man left, I asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) about what had surprised me; how he considered this man as being bad, and how he talked to him in such warmth? The Prophet (peace be upon him) answered “Have you ever seen me behaving as a hypocrite?” He added “In the Day of Judgement, the worst degrees are for those whom people deserted for being mistreated by them.”

Al Qurtubi differentiates between hypocrisy and sociability, regarding sociability as a desirable legal behavior, saying that sociability means sacrificing the worldly affairs for the sake of improving either life on earth or religion, or so as to improve both, while hypocrisy aims at sacrificing religion for the sake of the worldly affairs. 

Hence, being sociable for ill-mannered people is aiming to achieve two purposes: 

Firstly, to avoid being mistreated by them. 

Secondly, being good to them could be guidance for them to step the right way. Compliments should be within worldly affairs only, never in religious affairs, otherwise, it will be a matter of hypocrisy. 

To be sociable, means to be tender, smiling, praising to the other, intending in the meantime a legal benefit. The Prophet (peace be upon him) says “Being sociable, is as alms-giving”. Ibn Battal says also “Sociability is an ethic of the believers; it is to show open-mindedness in treating others and to delicately speak to them. Both are important elements in seeking reasons for intimacy”

May Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala make us from those who hear the advice and put it into action

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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

21 Common Misconceptions about Zakaah



Misconception # 1: I pray, dont I? Whats the big deal if I dont give Zakaah?

Zakaah is one of the PILLARS of Islam and NOT an option. It is just as important to ones faith as Salaah. In fact, anyone who denies it is a Kaafir and the Prophet (pbuh) and his Sahaba waged war against such persons even though they uttered the Shahadah and prayed Salaah.

About such people Abu Bakr said: “By God! I shall certainly wage war against the people who discriminate between Salaah and Zakaah.” (Bukhaari, Muslim)


Misconception # 2: But it will decrease my wealth!

Abu Hurayra said that the Prophet (pbuh) said,

“Whoever is given wealth by Allaah and does not pay the Zakaah due thereupon shall find that on the Day of Arising it is made to appear to him as a hairless snake with two black specks, which chains him, and then seizes him by his jaw and says, -I am your wealth! I am your treasure!’


Then he recited the verse, ‘Let not those who are miserly with what God has given them of His bounty think that this is good for them. Rather, it is bad for them. That which they withhold shall be hung around their necks on the Day of Arising. [3:180] (Bukhaari)


Misconception # 3: I dont have to pay Zakaah every year.

Zakaah is an obligation that must be paid each year.

The Prophet (pbuh) used to send the zakaah-collectors to the tribes and cities, and they did not differentiate between those who had paid their zakaah the previous year and those who had not, rather they used to take the zakaah that was due on all the “zakaatable” wealth that people possessed.


Misconception # 4: I never paid Zakaah before, I will just repent and that should be enough

The one who never paid Zakaah before should repent to Allaah first. Then he should estimate the amount of Zakaah that was due on him over the years as best he can, and pay it as soon as possible


Misconception # 5: I dont have to pay Zakaah if I owe a debt

The one who has any “zakatable” wealth must pay zakaah on it, when one year has passed since he acquired it, even if he has debts, according to the more correct of the two scholarly opinions. The Prophet (pbuh) used to command his agents to take zakaah from those who owed zakaah, and he did not tell them to ask them whether they had any debts or not. (Majmoo Fataawa -Abd al-Azeez ibn Baaz)

Misconception # 6: I will waive my debt and count that as Zakaah

The Prophet (pbuh) said to Muaadh ibn Jabal, when he sent him to Yemen : “Teach them that Allaah has enjoined upon them zakaah on their wealth, to be taken from their rich and given to their poor.”


He (pbuh) explained that zakaah is something which is to be taken and given, so on this basis it is not permissible to let off someone who owes you money and count that as zakaah, because letting someone off a debt does not involve taking and giving. (Fataawa Manaar al-Islam by Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen)

Shaykh al-Islam said: “letting someone off a debt does not relieve one of the obligation of zakaah, and there is no scholarly dispute on this matter. But you can give this needy person some of your zakaah and he can meet his needs using what you give him as zakaah; and Allaah will help him to pay off his debt in the future, inshaAllaah.”


Misconception # 7: I have lent someone some money. I dont have to pay Zakaah on it.

In this situation, there can be two scenarios;


1. If the borrower is rich and is known to repay debts promptly: The lender has to pay Zakaah annually on the money lent, because it is possible to recover the money readily and it is like money that is in ones possession.

2. If it is unlikely that the lender will get his money back or the borrower is known to delay repayment: Then the lender does not have to pay zakaah before he gets the money back, because it is not readily accessible and is not like money that is in ones possession.


Misconception # 8: I pay my taxes so I dont have to pay Zakaah!

The taxes we pay are to govt , not to Allah to Whom the Zakaah is due. And this Zakaah money is to be only spent according to the rules of Shareeah in certain specific ways. Thus, it is not permissible for the taxes we pay on our wealth to be counted as part of Zakaah. The obligatory Zakaah must be paid separately.


Misconception # 9: I will use the money that I receive from my bank as interest to pay off Zakaah

First of all, putting money in the bank in return for interest is a kind of riba which Allah and His Messenger have forbidden, and it is a major sin.

The Prophet(pbuh) cursed the one who consumes riba and the one who pays it. (Muslim)
This money cannot be used to pay Zakaah or other kinds of charity since it is impure and a haraam form of wealth.


Misconception # 10: I will pay Zakaah on whatever is OVER the Nisaab

If ones wealth surpasses the amount of nisaab, then Zakaah is due upon it ALL, and not upon the surplus only.


Misconception # 11: Zakaah is due on precious gems, stones and diamonds

No zakaah is due on gems, precious stones, diamonds, etc. unless they are prepared for trade, in which case they come under the same ruling as all other trade goods


Misconception # 12: I will buy diamonds so that I dont have to pay Zakaah

Some people try to get out of Zakaah by investing in diamonds, since no Zakaah is due on them, and think they can outsmart Allah.  Doesnt Allaah know whats in our hearts and minds?
They forget that Zakaah is due on them if they are prepared for trade.

“They seek to deceive Allah and those who believe, but they deceive none except themselves, though they do not sense it.“ (Surah al-Baqarah: 9)

Misconception # 13: The husband HAS to pay Zakaah on the wifes jewelry and wealth!

It is NOT the husbands duty to pay Zakaah on his wifes jewelry, wealth, etc. Rather, it is her responsibility, since she is the possessor of the wealth. If her husband or someone else pays zakaah on her behalf with her permission, that is o.k., and he will be rewarded for this voluntary action.


Misconception # 14: I only have gold, but I do not have any money. So, I dont have to pay Zakaah….

Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen said: “Zakaah must be paid on jewelry if it reaches the nisaab (minimum threshold), which is 85 grams. If it reaches this amount, zakaah must be paid on it. If she has other wealth and pays from that, there is nothing wrong with it. If her husband or one of her relatives pays it on her behalf, there is nothing wrong with that. If neither of these options is available to her, then she should sell some of it and pay zakaah with that money.”
Misconception # 15: I will use my Zakaah money on my immediate family

Shaykh Ibn Baaz said: “The Muslim cannot give his zakaah to his parents or to his wife and children; rather he is obliged to spend on them from his wealth if they need that and he is able to spend on them.”


Misconception # 16: I cannot give Zakaah to my poor relatives

It is actually preferable for a person to give their zakaah to a brother, sister, paternal uncle, paternal aunt or to any other relative, if they are poor. This is because, giving zakaah to them is both an act of charity and upholding family ties.

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Charity given to the poor is charity and charity given to a relative is charity and upholding of family ties.” (Ahmad, al-Nasaa’i)


Misconception # 17: A woman cannot give Zakaah to her Husband

It is okay for a woman to give zakaah to her husband, if he is qualified to receive zakaah, because she is not obliged to spend on him. Also, the Prophet (pbuh) gave permission to the wife of Abd-Allaah ibn Masood to give her zakaah to her husband. However a wife is not qualified to receive zakaah from her husband because he obliged to spend on her from his wealth.


Misconception # 18:  Zakaah can be given to Non-Muslims if they are poor

It is not permissible to give Zakaah to non-muslims except the one who is inclined towards Islam, in the hope that he will become Muslim if you give him zakaah (al-Tawbah:60) .  However paying sadaqaa and charity to them are permissible.
Misconception # 19: I will use Zakaah to build hospitals, masjid and orphanages

That is not permissible, because this is not included in the eight categories on which zakaah may be spent.

Allaah tells us that Zakaah may be spent on the following:

“As-Sadaqaat (Zakaah) are only
for the Fuqaraa (poor),
and Al-Masaakeen (the poor & needy, who prefer to hide their poverty from public)
and those employed to collect (the funds);
and to attract the hearts of those who have been inclined (towards Islam);
and to free the captives;
and for those in debt;
and for Allaah’s Cause (Mujaahidoon — those fighting in a holy battle),
and for the wayfarer (a traveler who is cut off from everything)” [al-Tawbah:60]

But if the intention in giving the money to an orphanage is so that this money will be spent on the poor orphans, then this is permissible, if the orphans are poor.
Similarly, Zakaah cannot be used to print Quraans and other Dawah material.
Misconception # 20: Zakaah is the same as Zakaat ul-Fitr

Zakaat al-Fitr is NOT the same as obligatory Zakaah. These are two separate entities and whoever paid Zakaah is NOT relieved of paying Zakaat al-Fitr and vice-versa.
Misconception # 21: I have to inform the one I am giving, that it is Zakaah

You do not have to tell the recipient that it is zakaah.

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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

How should a husband treat his wife?

Look how Islam values women and how an Islam scholars perspective of women was back in 18th century, way before the womens basic rights were accepted around in the other countries of the world.

” Oh my friend, You have to be gentle, understanding and friendly to your wife. you have to talk with her in a polite and soft way and sweetness of words.

Our beloved Prophet[pbuh] said: The best of people is the one who is beneficial and helpful to his wife and his house members”.

when you found her sad and worried, you need to say you love her and you need to cheer her up with compassion as she might feeling depressed or hopeless at that time at home. You should be her best friend, her support in her troubles.

You should help her with the education of the children. The children will not give her a break and rest as they whine, cry, and ask for things day and night. If you help her, her Lord Allah will help you too.

About the mistakes she did, you must not get angry or say rude words. Even when you have to give her silent treatment, you should cut it after one day. when you discover a bad habit of hers or a behavior you did not like about her, you should find the fault in you and say:

“if I was a better person and had better behavior, she would be nicer, too”.

When she gets angry, you have to be silent. When you do not respond her, she would regret and apologize to you.

When she is helping, supporting and serving you, you should pray for her and you should thank and praise Allah since your wife, who is a good match for you, is a bounty by God that could never be thanked enough for.

You have to treat your wife in a way that she needs to think “my husband loves me more than anyone.”

About the household and financial issues, you have to consult her and talk together. You should not bother your wife with your other big troubles and issues. You need to ignore her bad behaviors unless they are forbidden by Allah, that is, unless she is committing a sin.

You have to hide her secret faults and her private matters from everybody. You should make compliments , appropriate jokes, and create entartainment for your wife.

Our beloved Prophet Muhammad[pbuh] would compliment, mingle and make jokes with his wife. He was the ultimate gentlemen and the most refined elegant person towards his wife. Once he had a race with his wife and his wife won, in the second time, he won.

Mild and pleasant conversations will bond you with your wife. You need to read each other about the basics and pillars of Islam, and other the necessary knowledge and sicences. You have to provide for her whatever you have for yourself in terms of clothing, food, and so on.

You should not reflect your troubles, problems, your sadness, enemies and your debts to her becuase even if she overcome these problems, these troubles will leave marks in her soul and affects her inner peace.

You should always say heartful of good praying to her face and her behind not ever bad prayers since she is always there for you and serving you day and night. She prepares your bread, your meal, mend and wash your clothess. She is the protector and manager of your dignity, honor, your properties, and your children . She is your best friend, your only support as you are to her, she is your love as you are her love.


got it bros……..?

so married bro go tell ur wife today that you love her …. 🙂

and unmarried bros….remember this small Article Advice….and do it when you have ur partner…!

🙂

JazakAllah khair for reading…..

King
slave of ALLAH SWT

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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

How to make your Wife happy ?



Beautiful Reception

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you:

  • Begin with a good greeting.
  • Start with Assalamau ‘Aliaykum and a smile. Salam is a sunnah and a du’aa for her as well.
  • Shake her hand and leave bad news for later!

Sweet Speech and Enchanting Invitations

  • Choose words that are positive and avoid negative ones.
  • Give her your attention when you speak of she speaks.
  • Speak with clarity and repeat words if necessary until she understands.
  • Call her with the nice names that she likes, e.g. my sweet-heart, honey, saaliha, etc.

Friendliness and Recreation

  • Spend time talking together.
  • Spread to her goods news.
  • Remember your good memories together.

Games and Distractions

  • Joking around & having a sense of humor.
  • Playing and competing with each other in sports or whatever.
  • Taking her to watch permissible (halal) types of entertainment.
  • Avoiding prohibited (haram) things in your choices of entertainment.

Assistance in the Household

  • Doing what you as an individual can/like to do that helps out, especially if she is sick or tired.
  • The most important thing is making it obvious that he appreciates her hard work.

Consultation (Shurah)

  • Specifically in family matters.
  • Giving her the feeling that her opinion is important to you.
  • Studying her opinion carefully.
  • Be willing to change an opinion for hers if it is better.
  • Thanking her for helping him with her opinions.

Visiting Others

  • Choosing well raised people to build relations with. There is a great reward in visiting relatives and pious people. (Not in wasting time while visiting!)
  • Pay attention to ensure Islamic manners during visits.
  • Not forcing her to visit whom she does not feel comfortable with.

Conduct During Travel

  • Offer a warm farewell and good advice.
  • Ask her to pray for him.
  • Ask pious relatives and friends to take care of the family in your absence.
  • Give her enough money for what she might need.
  • Try to stay in touch with her whether by phone, e-mail, letters, etc..
  • Return as soon as possible.
  • Bring her a gift!
  • Avoid returning at an unexpected time or at night.
  • Take her with you if possible.

Financial Support

  • The husband needs to be generous within his financial capabilities. He should not be a miser with his money (nor wasteful).
  • He gets rewards for all what he spends on her sustenance even for a small piece of bread that he feeds her by his hand (hadeith).
  • He is strongly encouraged to give to her before she asks him.

Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

  • Following the Sunnah in removing hair from the groin and underarms.
  • Always being clean and neat.
  • Put on perfume for her.

Intercourse

  • It is obligatory to do it habitually if you have no excuse (sickness, etc.)
  • Start with “Bismillah” and the authentic du’a.
  • Enter into her in the proper place only (not the anus).
  • Begin with foreplay including words of love.
  • Continue until you have satisfied her desire.
  • Relax and joke around afterwards.
  • Avoid intercourse during the monthly period because it haram
  • Do what you can to avoid damaging her level of Hiyaa (shyness and modesty) such as taking your clothes together instead of asking her to do it first while he is looking on.
  • Avoid positions during intercourse that may harm her such as putting pressure on her chest and blocking her breath, especially if you are heavy.
  • Choose suitable times for intercourse and be considerate as sometimes she maybe sick or exhausted.

Guarding Privacy

  • Avoid disclosing private information such as bedroom secrets, her personal problems and other private matters.

Aiding in the Obedience to Allah

  • Wake her up in the last third of the night to pray “Qiyam-ul-Layl” (extra prayer done at night with long sujood and ruku’ua).
  • Teach her what you know of the Qur’an and its tafseer.
  • Teach her “Dhikr” (ways to remember Allah by the example of the prophet) in the morning and evening.
  • Encourage her to spend money for the sake of Allah such as in a charity sale.
  • Take her to Hajj and Umrah when you can afford to do so.

Showing Respect for her Family and Friends

  • Take her to visit her family and relatives, especially her parents.
  • Invite them to visit her and welcome them.
  • Give them presents on special occasions.
  • Help them when needed with money, effort, etc..
  • Keep good relations with her family after her death if she dies first. Also in this case the husband is encouraged to follow the sunnah and keep giving what she used to give in her life to her friends and family.

(Islamic) Training & Admonition

This includes:

  • The basics of Islam
  • Her duties and rights
  • Reading and writing
  • Encouraging her to attend lessons and halaqahs
  • Islamic rules (ahkam) related to women
  • Buying Islamic books and tapes for the home library

Admirable Jealousy

  • Ensure she is wearing proper hijab before leaving house.
  • Restrict free mixing with non-mahram men.
  • Avoiding excess jealousy.

Examples of this are:

1- Analyzing every word and sentence she says and overloading her speech by meanings that she did    not mean
2- Preventing her from going out of the house when the reasons are just.
3- Preventing her from answering the phone.

Patience and Mildness

  • Problems are expected in every marriage so this is normal. What is wrong is excessive responses and magnifying problems until a marital breakdown.
  • Anger should be shown when she exceeds the boundaries of Allah SWT, by delaying prayers, backbiting, watching prohibited scenes on TV, etc..
  • Forgive the mistakes she does to you.

Correcting her Mistakes

  • First, implicit and explicit advice several times.
  • Then by turning your back to her in bed (displaying your feelings). Note that this does not include leaving the bedroom to another room, leaving the house to another place, or not talking with her.
  • The last solution is lightly hitting (when allowable) her. In this case, the husband should consider the following:

He should know that sunnah is to avoid beating as the Prophet PBUH never beat a woman or a servant.

  • He should do it only in extreme cases of disobedience, e.g. refusing intercourse without cause frequently, constantly not praying on time, leaving the house for long periods of time without permission nor refusing to tell him where she had been, etc..
  • It should not be done except after having turned from her bed and discussing the matter with her as mentioned in Qur’an .
  • He should not hit her hard injuring her, or hit her on her face or on sensitive parts of her body.
  • He should avoid shaming her such as by hitting her with a shoe, etc.

Pardoning and Appropriate Censure

  • Accounting her only for larger mistakes.
  • Forgive mistakes done to him but account her for mistakes done in Allah’s rights, e.g. delaying prayers, etc..
  • Remember all the good she does whenever she makes a mistake.
  • Remember that all humans err so try to find excuses for her such as maybe she is tired, sad, having her monthly cycle or that her commitment to Islam is growing.
  • Avoid attacking her for the bad cooking of the food as the Prophet PBUH never blamed any of his wives for this. If he likes the food, he eats and if he doesn’t then he does not eat and does not comment.
  • Before declaring her to be in error, try other indirect approaches that are more subtle than direct accusations
  • Escape from using insults and words that may hurt her feelings.
  • When it becomes necessary to discuss a problem wait until you have privacy from others.
  • Waiting until the anger has subsided a bit can help to keep a control on your words.
summary of the book “How to make your wife happy” by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed.

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