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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

Tips to Instill the Prophet’s Love into Our Kids

We all love our Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). Simple because he brought us Divine guidance and helped us a lot find our way to Truth. He is called the light, as Almighty Allah says: “Now hath come unto you light from Allah and a plain Scripture” (Al-Ma’idah: 15) It is thus natural to instill into our kids the Prophet’s love. We also should make sure that his love grow daily in our heart.

But we’d like to stress that our love for the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) should be a motivation for us to follow the noble principles he set to govern our lives. It’s inconceivable for us to be claiming of loving the noble Prophet and, at the same time, doing all what contradicts his teachings. That is not love. That’s self-deception!

“The tongues of Muslims all over the world never cease to mention the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and send blessings to him. But why not organize a week-long family activity around the life of the Prophet? Why not spend one day of the week on each of these activities, devoting the whole seven days to a different project? Or we could incorporate some aspect of each activity daily. Whatever method we choose, these are rather token present we could offer in showing acknowledgment to the great role the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) played in our life.

In order to promote such noble feelings inside one’s family, let every one sit down with a pen and a paper, think and decide together about the activities you can do concerning the life of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).

Following are some tips that help in this concern:

1. Travel with the Prophet:

Get a map of Arabia, or better yet, get the kids to draw or trace one from an atlas. Then, note down the different places he traveled to from Makkah or Madinah. Each voyage should also be researched and presented to the whole family by one person in the course of a family discussion or meeting.

2. Wake up with the Prophet:

The Prophet would wake up everyday before Dawn (Fajr), to worship Allah through and make Dhikr (Remembrance of Allah). While looking at the sky, he would read the last portion of Surat Al `Imran, thinking and reflecting on the universe and its Creator. This is an excellent way to get closer to Allah, at a time when concentration is at its peak, minds are clear of daily worries and according to one Hadith, Allah is very close to us. Once Fajr began, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) would pray and then chat with people who stayed behind for some time.

Get the whole family to get up in time to perform this special prayer. Encourage them, to the best of their ability, to awake to worship Allah as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did.

3. Organize Storytelling Night:

This can be done at bedtime, after the kids come home from school or any other time conducive to learning. The first step of loving and learning from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and his life is to know about him and what made him great. You can buy children’s books about his life, or even listen to them on a cassette tape while you are in the car on your way to or from school. Maybe each person in the family can choose their story to tell. This will allow some research and reading as well.

4. Sleep Like Him:

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to sleep in a unique way and would say a supplication or two before it. Maybe as a token of your love you want to sleep one night the way he slept. Some Muslims do sleep that way all the time, although it is not a requirement of our faith. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to sleep on his right side, with his right hand under his right cheek. He used to make Wudu’ before going to bed also. He used to recite one or two supplications before sleeping and recite a few short portions of the Qur’an.

If you adopt this item, you can memorize the supplications, understand their meaning and make copies of them for everyone.

5. Eat Like Him:

There are reports about the type of food he used to eat or liked most. Make a list of those items. Once the whole family is together with a selection of his/her favorite food, why not have one person talk about it and remind everyone of his table manners? A young person may be the best one to do that. For instance, he advised Muslims to eat in a way that after eating, the stomach is only one-third full. We also should wash our hands before eating, recite “Bismillah” (in the Name of Allah) and other supplications before we begin, as well as eat only with our right hand. These are just some of the ways the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) ate.

6. Pray Like the Prophet:

During the lifetime of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) if a person made a mistake in the recitation of the Qur’an, he would be corrected by others present during the prayer. This is exactly the way it is done throughout the Muslim world in Ramadan. During this week when you’re teaching your kids how to live like the Prophet, have a different person lead prayer each day and correct their mistakes if they make any. This will not only be an exercise in one aspect of the Sunnah, it will also be one teaching humility.

7. Play like the Prophet:

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) understood the importance of fun and games. He would race with his wife `A’ishah who used to outpace him most of the time (may Allah be pleased with her). He would swim and wrestle with his Companions. He would joke with them too. He played with and loved children. Muslims mustn’t forget this aspect of his life. Race with your spouse in your backyard; set up a swimming pool for the kids; enroll the kids in an archery class.”

* Excerpted, with slight modifications, from soundvision.

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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

8 ways of finding the right person to marry

Marriage is never an easy thing. We think of it as this amazing romantic bliss that we will somehow attain one day.

Sisters dream of marrying that amazing brother who has the character of the Messenger of Allaah (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), the Eemaan of Aboo Bakr, the courage of Hamzah, the wealth of ‘AbdiRahmaan bin ‘Awf but the fact still remains, everyone wants to marry that one truly amazing person and it is not much different for guys.

We wish to bump into a Hoor al-‘Een that has lost her way from Jannah. I mean why wouldn’t that ever happen? It won’t happen, because you are daydreaming bro that’s why.

Now wake up and listen to this short lesson in some important “Do’s and Dont’s” along with other useful information inshaaAllaah.

#8 AVOID FACEBOOK SPOUSES

And any other social network for that matter

Since we spend most of our time online these days, it is very easy to try to fulfil all our needs online, even the need of finding a soul mate. Now don’t get me wrong, there are marriages who actually do work out, and I am not by any means hating on brothers and sisters who made it work (whatever floats your boats akhis and ukthis, just keep it halaal), but let’s face it, the Internet is a very weird place.

Everyone always tries to seem holier than they really are, even a Kaafir could pretend to be Muslim scholar for all you know.  In the good old days people married other people who they actually knew, and life was much more smooth, in very broad terms.

But today you marry someone who comes across as religious online only to find out on your wedding night he isn’t really that strict on Salah, oh and did I mention he has tons of friends who just happen to be girls? And not to mention he smokes (sorry forgot to tell you that too, my bad) the point is, be very careful concerning ANY online proposals.

If the person is serious and a good guy, drop them your wali’s number and don’t communicate with them anymore, then you’ll know if the person is really a gentleman or not.

#7 BEFRIEND GOOD PEOPLE

Looks more and more promising

This will open up the door for networking later on, because one of the main problems today is that a lot of people ask, ‘OK but how do I meet good potential spouses?’ and they often say ‘I don’t know anyone!’ but in reality everyone knows SOMEBODY.

Be it that friend who you only seem to meet at the masjid for big events, or your cousin who you don’t spend much time with, there is always someone you can befriend. But keep in mind that these individuals should be good practising people themselves because then they can help introduce you to other practising people who in turn might have brothers and sisters who are looking for marriage.

Trust me, it works. Try it for yourselves and see, but just don’t become that one sister (or brother) who ALWAYS talks about marriage and the opposite gender, because chances are you might get labelled as “thirsty” if not worse.

And if that fails, there is always facebook.

#6 BE AT GOOD PLACES

Do not confuse booty call material for wifey material

In the same way that you won’t find your amazing virgin niqabi wife at the club, dancing late into the night. You, yourself need to be looking in the right places, and this sort of brings us back to the previous point.

Attend lectures, study circles or maybe even volunteer to help at the masjid etc, all these activities will open up the door for you to meet the right people and once you get to know them you can raise the issue of marriage discreetly.

Remember most people who marry will tell you they got to know their spouse either through family and friends, or they might have actually met whilst doing the same activities, so try to be more active and don’t just sit at home feeling sorry for yourself. Oh and also stop going to the club.

DISCLAIMER: This website does not endorse any talking between the genders without the supervision of a Wali. Be a man and step up your game if you truly love her. Otherwise go to facebook.

#5 BE REALISTIC

Sometimes your knight in shining armour is just a miskeen dude in tin foil

Chances are, you’re not going to bump into Shaikh Sudais’s son, let alone the Shaikh himself, and even if you did, I highly doubt any of them would ask you for marriage (more like ‘SECURITY!’) So try to keep your hopes realistic, yes we all want to marry a Haafidh, we all want a sister who knows all about pleasing a husband but never had a boyfriend before. We all want a brother who is super pious with super long beard (the longer the beard the bigger the Taqwa right?) who also owns a house and has a car, plus he should be really knowledgeable too, like bin baaz knowledgeable, preferably not blind though, oh and a six pack wouldn’t harm either.

But we often forget, that when you marry someone, they still have their whole life ahead of them. Most of the wives of the major scholars married these amazing men whilst they still were ‘nobodies’ and similarly you teach your wife (with gentleness) how to be romantic and it is all a journey. If you think that you will marry that one complete person who has everything, you will never marry and that’s the harsh truth.

You will end up on facebook surfing from one profile to the other.

#4 INVOLVE YOUR PARENTS

I mean at least this brother has his own house, so that’s always a plus right?

Most people don’t like doing this, for whatever reason. Most girls are just simply too shy to bring marriages up to their parents, in case the parents look at them as “horny” or a victim of teenage hormones. Others are afraid that if they involve the parents they will feel pressured into marrying someone they don’t want to marry, only to please their parents.

You remember that one time your friend mentioned to HER parents that she wanted to get married? And for her parents to help her look for a decent brother? And how they totally misunderstood her and now you heard that your friend moved back to Bangladesh and has 7 kids at the age of 21? Yeah that’s totally not going to happen to you.

Now what I am suggesting is a middle path. Bring the topic up to your parents, or if you’re too shy, speak to your brother or someone else who can raise the issue with your parents. And then ask your parents to look around for you, remember they can only suggest but the final decision still lies with you. And most of us really don’t make use of this option, which is very sad.

Our parents are the only human beings alive on the face of this earth who would do anything and everything for us, so why not consult them?

#3 ARE YOU REALLY READY FOR MARRIAGE?

Believe it or not brothers, marriage is more than just mating and lying in bed. Shocking I know!

I don’t mean to scare you away by raising this question, as Muslims we should always aim to get married since it is the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet.

But sometimes, some people rush into marriage. They think just because they are physically ready (have urges etc) that they should get married, forgetting that even the Prophet actually mentioned that those who have the MEANS to get married should do so. Now having the means is not just having a mature body, or even loads of cash. Rather it also about being mentally stable and able to cope with the hardships of marriage.

Don’t worry though, in marriage all you need is love to make things work (like they always say right?) so no need to over think things, love conquers all! Except that’s a total lie, marriage needs so much more, and even though love is a key element in marriage it is not always what keeps a marriage going.

Remember marriage is not all sunshine and fun, sometimes you will argue sometimes you wont love each other as much, what will happen then? Will you ask for a divorce just because the marriage isn’t fun anymore?

What if there are children involved, then what? The point is, prepare yourself for marriage mentally. Read up on the rights of the Husband and the rights of the Wife, don’t just marry because you’re 20 and feel you have to. This husband will be either your Jannah or Hell, do you really know what that means?

Similarly this wife and future children will be your responsibility as a husband, Allaah will ask you about them and everything they do, so be prepared.

#2 WOULD YOU MARRY YOURSELF?

Because that is how I roll

‘Ofcourse I would, I am pure awesomeness, I am the very defin…’ if that is your answer then I can tell you right now that you don’t really have the right mentality for marriage. We often get blinded by the search for the ultimate partner that we neglect to look at ourselves.

We cry and say why won’t anyone marry me? But do nothing to change ourselves. How do you treat people when you get upset? What do you do if you hold a grudge? Do not turn a blind eye to all these important issues, rather tackle them one by one. No one is perfect but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be trying.

If you truly and sincerely work on your own flaws, and really do become more caring and loving then you will notice how people will look at you differently. People will start to think of you as ‘wifey’ material because you are good with kids, because you care for others, because you forgive people and don’t hold grudges don’t gossip etc the list is long but if you take one step at a time you will be married before you know it.

Well you would know of it, ’cause I mean you couldn’t get married without knowing about it, right? So technically you would know about it, but yeah whatever.

#1 DU’AA

Dua is the weapon of the believer, why not use it?

Because like anything in life, Allaah is the true reason behind things. Even though some people often roll their eyes and think ‘Yeah right the old, make dua brother/sister’ but if you truly have faith in Allaah and know that He answers the prayers of those in need, you will never get tired of making du’aa to Him.

Take the story of Muusa alyhi salaam as an example, in Soorah Qasas we are told about how he left Fir’awn and was literally fleeing for his life, his one concern was saving his own skin. But what happened? He made du’aa to Allaah, and Allaah not only saved him but blessed him with a wonderful wife. So in short, if you make du’aa and don’t give up Allaah will help you, and that is a promise!

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Falling in Love Allowed in Islam

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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

The status of the family in Islam


Before we find out about the role of Islam in organizing and protecting the family, we should first find out what the situation of the family was before Islam, and what it is in the west in modern times.

Before Islam, the family was based on mistreatment and oppression. All affairs were controlled only by men or in other words, the males, and women and girls were oppressed and humiliated. An example of that is that if a man died and left behind a wife, his son by another wife had the right to marry her and control her life, or to prevent her from getting married. Men were the only ones who could inherit; women and children had no share. They viewed women, whether they were mothers, daughters or sisters, as a source of shame, because they could be taken as prisoners, thus bringing shame upon the family. Hence a man would bury his infant daughter alive, as is referred to in the Qur’aan, where Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And when the news of (the birth of) a female (child) is brought to any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward grief! He hides himself from the people because of the evil of that whereof he has been informed. Shall he keep her with dishonour or bury her in the earth? Certainly, evil is their decision” [al-Nahl 16:58]

The family in the broader sense, i.e., the tribe, was based on supporting one another in all things, even in wrongdoing.

When Islam came, it did away with all that and established justice, giving each person his or her rights, even nursing infants, and even the miscarried foetus who was to be respected and prayed for (i.e., given a proper funeral).

When you examine the family in the west today you will find that families are disintegrating and the parents cannot control their children, whether intellectually or morally. The son has the right to go wherever he wants and do whatever he wants; the daughter has the right to sit with whoever she wants and sleep with whoever she wants, all in the name of freedom and rights. And what is the result? Broken families, children born outside marriage, (elderly) mothers and fathers who are not looked after. As some wise men have said, if you want to know the true nature of these people, go to the prisons and the hospitals and seniors’ homes, for children do not remember their parents except on holidays and special occasions.

The point is that among non-Muslims the institution of family is destroyed. When Islam came it paid a great deal of attention to the establishment of  strong families and protecting them from things that could harm them, and preserving family ties whilst giving each member of the family an important role in life.

Islam honoured women, whether as mothers, daughters or sisters. It honoured women as mothers. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:

A man came to the Messenger of Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, who among people is most deserving of my good company?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Then your father.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5626; Muslim, 2548)

Islam honours women as daughters. It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Whoever has three daughters or three sisters, or two daughters or two sisters, and takes good care of them and fears Allaah with regard to them, will enter Paradise.” (Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan in his Saheeh, 2/190)

And Islam honours women as wives. It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi, 3895).

Islam gave women their rights of inheritance and other rights. It gave women rights like those of men in many spheres. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Women are the twin halves of men.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood in his Sunan, 236, from the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 216).

Islam encourages men to treat their wives well, and gives women the freedom to choose their husbands; it gives women much of the responsibility for raising the children.

Islam gives fathers and mothers a great deal of responsibility for raising their children. It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say, “Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The man is the shepherd of his family and he is responsible for his flock. The woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock. The servant is a shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for his flock.” He said, I heard this from the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 853; Muslim, 1829)

Islam paid a great deal attention to implanting the principle of respect for fathers and mothers, taking care of them and obeying their commands until death. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour” [al-Isra’ 17:23]

Islam protects the honour, chastity, purity and lineage of the family, so it encourages marriage and forbids free mixing of men and women.

Islam gives each family member an important role to play. So fathers and mothers take care of the children and give them an Islamic upbringing; children are to listen and obey, and respect the rights of fathers and mothers, on a basis of love and respect. Even our enemies have borne witness to the strength of family ties among the Muslims.

And Allaah knows best.

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In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

The Muslimah & her Parents

The Muslimah & her Parents Islam has raised the status of parents to a level that is unknown in any other religion. Following are the duties enjoined on us toward the most important people in a Muslim’s life – our parents. The duties of a son or a daughter are identical. Treating Them With Kindness & Respect One of the most distinguishing characteristics of the true Muslim is her respectful and kind treatment of her parents, because to treat parents with kindness is one of the greatest commandments of Islam, as is clearly confirmed in the Quran

‘… No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child or father on account of his child…’ [Noble Quran 2:233]

The true Muslim spares no effort to show honor and respect toward them, providing them with the best food, clothing and housing – that she can afford- above all, she should speak kindly to them, present a pleasant and smiling face, and show love, tenderness and gratitude. Recognizing Parents’ Status The Quran paints a vivid picture of the high status of the parents and explains the excellent way in which the Muslim should treat them.

Allah says, “‘Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor.” And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.”‘ [Noble Quran 17:23-24]

When our parents reach the age of senility and infirmity, they are under our care. Therefore, we must take time to choose the right words to say to them, words that will make them feel loved and wanted. Also, pray for them for the unforgettable favors they have done for us, as they took care of us when we were small and weak. Further Allah says,

“Serve Allah and join not any partners with Him, and do good to Parents.” [Noble Quran 4:36]

“We have enjoined on man kindness to parents.” [Noble Quran 29:8]

Abdullah ibn Mas’ud said, ‘I asked the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him),

“Which deed is most liked by Allah?” He said, “Prayer offered on time.” I asked him, “Then what?” He said, “Kindness and respect towards parents.” I asked him, “Then what?” He said, “Jihad for the sake of Allah.”‘ A man came and asked the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) for permission to participate in Jihad. He asked him, ‘Are your parents alive?’ He said, ‘yes,’ so the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) told him, ‘perform Jihad by taking care of them.’ [Muslim]

In the midst of preparing his army for Jihad, the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) did not forget the weakness of parents and their claims on their children. He, in fact, asked this man to stay back and care for his parents despite the fact that at that time the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) needed all the manpower he could get for the forthcoming war. The Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) allowed the man to stay back from Jihad because there was no one else to care for his parents. Obeying Them Disobedience toward one’s parents is likened to shirk [associating partners with Allah].

When the mother of Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas objected to her son’s embracing Islam, she told him, ‘Give up Islam, or else I will go on hunger strike until I die. Then you will feel shame before the Arabs, as they will say, “He has killed his mother.”‘ Sa’d told her, ‘You should know that, by Allah, even if you had a hundred souls, and they left your body one by one, I would never give up Islam.’ Then, Allah revealed a verse which the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) recited to the Muslims, in which Sa’d was rebuked for the harshness of his reply to his mother:

Allah says, “…but if they strive to make you join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey them not: yet bear them company in this life with justice [and consideration].” [Noble Quran 31:15]

In fact the jurists agree that if your mother calls for you and does not know that you are offering prayers, it is advisable to answer her if you are offering Nawafil [voluntary] prayers. [Muslim] Being Kind to Them Even if They Are Not Muslims Islam reached new heights by enjoining this duty on its followers.

This is clear from the Hadith of Asma bint Abi Bakr As-Siddiq, who said, ‘My mother came to me, and she was an unbeliever at the time of the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him). I asked the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him), ‘My mother has come to me and needs my help, so should I help her?’ He said, ‘Yes, keep in touch with her and help her.’

However, if the parents are unbelievers and tell their child to join them in disbelief, she must not obey them in that, for the Muslim must not obey anyone in disobeying Allah. The demands of Faith take precedence over all human relations. If parents are deviating from true Islam in some way, the dutiful Muslim should, in this case, approach them in a gentle and sensitive manner, so as to dissuade them from their error.

She should not condemn them harshly, but should try to convince them with solid proof, sound logic and wise words, until they turn to the truth in which she believes. Mother Comes First The Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) gave precedence to kind treatment of one’s mother over kind treatment of one’s father. It comes in a Hadith that Abu Hurairah reported that a person came to Allah’s Messenger (Peace and blessings be upon him) and said, ‘who among the people is most deserving of a fine treatment from my hand?’

The Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) said, ‘Your mother’. He asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) replied, ‘Your mother.’ He asked again, ‘Then who [is the next one]?’ The Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) replied, ‘Again it is your mother.’ He [again] asked, ‘Then who?’ Thereupon the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) said, ‘Then it is your father.’ [Muslim]

The Quran too gives the mother precedence because of pregnancy and breast feeding, and the pains and trials that she suffers during these two stages. ‘And we [Allah] have enjoined on man [to be good] to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and for two years was his weaning: Show gratitude to Me and to your parents: To me is your final goal.’ [Noble Quran 31:14]

Treating Her Parent’s Friends Well It comes in a Hadith that Abdullah ibn Umar reported Allah’s Messenger (Peace and blessings be upon him) as saying, ‘The finest act of goodness is that a person should treat kindly the loved ones of her father [even after her father has passed away] [Muslim]

The highest form of love, faithfulness and respect that a daughter can show to her parents is to keep in touch with their friends. In this way she cares for her parents before and after death. The only two things help a person in the grave are: the ongoing effect of her charity and her righteous children praying for her forgiveness. But are Muslims today following this teaching after being overtaken by materialism and blinded by the glare of modern civilization? Some parents do not even have the attention and care of their children, unless the children happen to be among those who have that sense of duty and deep god-consciousness [Taqwa]. Do you have Taqwa enough to never leave your parents when they need you the most?

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