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Is it permissible for a man to force his wife to have intercourse

Posted on: September 11, 2009


In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

Is it permissible for a man to force his wife to have intercourse if she refuses.

Praise be to Allaah.

The woman does not have the right to refuse her husband, rather she must respond to his request every time he calls her, so long as that will not harm her or keep her from doing an obligatory duty.

Al-Bukhaari (3237) and Muslim (1436) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)  said:

If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.

If she refuses with no excuse, she is disobeying and is being defiant (nushooz), and he is no longer obliged to spend on her and clothe her.

The husband should admonish her and remind her of the punishment of Allaah, and forsake her in her bed. He also has the right to hit her, in a manner that does not cause injury. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allaah is Ever Most High, Most Great”

[al-Nisa’ 4:34]

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked what a husband should do if his wife refuses him when he asks for intimacy.

He replied:

It is not permissible for her to rebel against him or to withhold herself from him, rather if she refuses him and persists in doing so, he may hit her in a manner that does not cause injury, and she is not entitled to spending or a share of his time [in the case of plural marriage].” Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 32/279.

And he was asked about a man who has a wife who is rebellious and refuses intimacy – does she forfeit the right to maintenance and clothing, and what should she do?

He replied:

She forfeits her right to maintenance and clothing if she does not let him be intimate with her. He has the right to hit her if she persists in being defiant. It is not permissible for her to refuse intimacy if he asks for that, rather she is disobeying Allaah and His Messenger (by refusing). In al-Saheeh it says:

“If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, the One Who is in heaven will be angry with her until morning comes.”

From Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 32/278. The hadeeth was narrated by Muslim, 1736.

So the wife should be admonished first, and warned against defiance (nushooz) and of the anger of Allaah and the curse of the angels. If she does not respond, then the husband should forsake her in her bed, and if she does not respond to that, then he may hit her in a manner that does not cause injury. If none of these steps are effective, then he may stop spending on her maintenance and clothing, and he has the right to divorce her or to allow her to separate from him by khula’ in return for some financial settlement, such as giving up the mahr.

Similarly a slave woman does not have the right to refuse her master’s requests unless she has a valid excuse. If she does that she is being disobedient and he has the right to discipline her in whatever manner he thinks is appropriate and is allowed in sharee’ah.

And Allaah knows best.

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9 Responses to "Is it permissible for a man to force his wife to have intercourse"

[...] Is it permissible for a man to force his wife for intercourse [...]

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assalamualikum,

i have got answers for my questions .thanku.

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assalamualaikum,
What if a wife did’nt want to have an intercourse? i mean what if she is not in a mood or is tired from her work? then? or mabe her husbands timings may not suit her like very early hours in the morning.Will the angels curse her? and what if awife desires to have intercourse and the man refuses for various reasons will he be cursed by the angels?

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Assalamu alaikum,

What if the wife has lost all intimate feelings for her husband but is forced to stay in the marriage due to family and society? Will it still be counted as being arrogant?

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ASAK sister,

Let me clarify first that I am no scholar…however I did read a hadith about a lady who approched Prophet (saw) and informed him a similar case about her husband…Our beloved prophet (saw) asked her if she was willing to return the garden, which she got as mehr…she responded in affirmative and then prohet (saw) allowed them to be separated.
I am sure you will be able to find this Hadith easliy.

May Allah guide us to the correct path.

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Wa alaikumassalam brother,

Thank you so much for your reply.

I tried to get a divorce but all my family are totally against it. It was all in vain. So now, I am stuck in this marriage and helpless. I have found out that my husband is having an affair. I confronted him and he denied it on my face and lied easily. And even now he continues it. I really cant accept such a person as my husband. But my family dont understand. They are more worried about what people would say!!!! I cant believe this world!!! All things that Allah made haram are ok….but one thing He allowed, even though with displeasure, is not ok to do. Both our families are ok with his affair…they say it happens and afterall he is a man…I cant believe it!!! IF this is not reason enough then what is?????

I am so much in despair….and cant decide what to do. I have realised there is no hope of divorce as i have tried my best………Will Allah punish me????? I really cant have intercourse with a person I despise so much and know that he doesnt care about me at all!!!!! Is it wrong?????

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salam sister,

I can understand sister,how much pain u r facing.

that is the idiotic thinking,that HE IS MAN and He can do anything.
these thoughts make idiots to rule on women.

ur words,really bought tears in my eyes,How can he do that.i can really feel ur pain,

its really bad to see that people don’t care about there chilrens feelings and pain,but they will care what others will say.

No sister,you will not be punished,InshahAllah. He forgot his responsiblities,and Allah can clearly see that what he is doing.

Marraige is not done just have intercource.He can’t fullfill his responsiblities,Its ok ,if you don’t want to do.

I wish i could help you.may be physically i can’t do,but InshahAllah with Dua’s i can do,

I will request All peoples on site visitors,and group members to make dua for you.so that Allah guide him and let him understand his

responsiblities.I will request today.InshahAllah

so,don’t loose hope…InshahAllah my lord will make things better for you!…

May Allah give you strength to absorb these pains,and make ur life beautiful as u want!
Ameen

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Salaam brother,

Thank you so much…I was in awe reading your mail….I couldnt believe there are poeple withso much compassion for another in this world……thank you so much…. Its really nice to hear something positive and encouraging for a change…..

I thank Allah for has given me the patience and strenght to live with my husband and taken away that horrible pain which drove me insane……but I cannot force myself to have intercourse with him…thats all he want from me……and I just cant put myself so low….

Thank you so much for your dua, May Allah bless your heart for your compassion..Ameen!

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Assalamu akaikum,
May Allah continue to guide us in this world and give us the best of the hereafter.
What is the case when a man refuses to be intimate with his wife?
Jazakallah khairan

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