ISLAM—World's Greatest Religion!

81 ways to win your Wife’s love

Posted on: February 19, 2011


In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

81 ways to win your Wife’s love


Marriage is a blessed contract between a man and a woman, in which each becomes “permitted” to the other, and they begin the long journey of life in a spirit of love, co operation, harmony and tolerance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds tranquillity, contentment and comfort in the company of the other. The Qur’an has described this relationship between men and women, which brings love, harmony, trust and compassion, in the most moving and eloquent terms

Among His signs is [the fact] that He has created spouses for you among yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has planted love and mercy between you; In that are signs for people who reflect. [Quran 20:30]

This is the strongest of bonds, in which Allah (SWT) unites the two Muslim partners, who come together on the basis of love, understanding, co-operation and mutual advice, and establish a. Muslim family in which children will live and grow up, and they will develop the good character and behaviour taught by Islam. The Muslim family is the strongest component of a Muslim society when its members are productive and constructive, helping and encouraging one another to be good and righteous, and competing with one another in good works. The righteous woman is the pillar, cornerstone and foundation of the Muslim family. She is seen as the greatest joy in a man’s life, as the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:

“This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous women.” Sahih Muslim 10/56, Kitab al-rida’, bab istihbab nikah al-bikr.

Allah informs us about the just rights of each other on us:

The wife’s rights (with regard to their husbands) are equal to the (husband’s) rights with regard to them, although men are a degree above them; and Allah is Almighty, Wise. [Quran 2:28]

“Consort with them graciously. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good. (4:20)

In today’s life of hustle and bustle, the family unit is becoming fragile by the day. Divorces are on the rise, and Muslims can no longer claim, as justifiably as before, that divorce is rare among Muslims or even much less than incidents of divorce among non-Muslims.

Let’s take on the men first, here’s how you can keep up your wife’s love:

1. Make her feel secure, don’t threaten her with divorce.
2. Give sincere Salaams.
3. Treat her gently, like a fragile vessel.
4. Advise in private, at the best time, in the best way and atmosphere.
5. Be generous with her.
6. Warm the seat for her, you will warm her heart.
7. Avoid anger, be in Wudhu at all times.
8. Look good and smell great for your wife.
9. Don’t be rigid or harsh-hearted or you will be broken.
10. Be a good listener.
11. Yes for flattery. No for arguing.
12. Call your wife with the best names, cute nicknames, and names she loves to hear.
13. A pleasant surprise.
14. Preserve and guard the tongue.
15. Expect, accept, and overlook her shortcomings.
16. Give sincere compliments.
17. Encourage her to keep good relations with her family.
18. Speak of the topic of her interest.
19. Express to her relatives, how wonderful she is.
20. Give each other gifts.
21. Get rid of routine, surprise her.
22. Have a good opinion of each other.
23. Have good manners, overlook small things, don’t nitpick.
24. Add a drop of patience, increase during pregnancy, menses.
25. Expect and respect her jealously.
26. Be humble.
27. Sacrifice your happiness for hers.
28. Help at home, with housework.
29. Help her love your relatives, but don’t try to force her.
30. Let her know that she is the ideal wife for you.
31. Remember your wife in Du’a.
32. Leave the past for Allah, don’t dwell on, dig into, or bring it up.
33. Don’t act as if you are doing her a favor by working or providing, Allah is the Provider, the husband is the carrier of the sustenance to the family.
34. Take Shaitan as your enemy, not your wife.
35. Put food in your wife’s mouth.
36. Treat your wife like she is the most precious pearl that you want to protect.
37. Show her your smile.
38. Don’t ignore the small things, deal with them before they be come big.
39. Avoid being harsh-hearted.
40. Respect and show that you appreciate her thinking.
41. Help her to find and build her inner strengths and skills.
42. Respect that she might not be in mood for intimacy, stay within Halaal boundaries.
43. Help her take care of the children.
44. Give her gifts with your tongue, be an artist with your compliments.
45. Sit down and eat meals together.
46. Let her know that you will be traveling or returning from travel, give her sufficient notice.
47. Don’t leave home in anger.
48. Maintain the secrecy and privacy of the home.
49. Encourage each other in worship.
50. Respect and fulfill her rights upon you.
51. Live with her in kindness, goodness, fairness in good and bad times.
52. Kiss your wife, foreplay, don’t jump on her like a bull.
53. Keep disputes between the two of you, don’t take it outside.
54. Show care for her health and well-being.
55. Remember you are not always right or perfect yourself.
56. Share your happiness and sadness with her.
57. Have mercy for her weaknesses.
58. Be a firm support for her to lean on.
59. Accept her as is, she is a package deal.
60. Have a good intention for her.
61. Cook a dish for her.
62. Designate a nice, clean, spacious area in your home for the two of you to pray at night whenever you can.
63. Women love flowers. Make a trail of them on the floor leading to the gift you made for her.
64. Give her a nice massage when she least expects it.
65. Send your wife a text message out of the blue with a message of love.
66. Send your wife an email without a reason.
67. Go out on a date or a get-away for the weekend in a nice location, preferably without kids.
68. Do something for your wife’s family, whether it is a gift, or a chat with her teen brother who needs mentoring, or whatever. It will get you lots of brownie points.
69. Do not keep reminding and demanding your rights all the time.
70. Shop groceries for her and call her from the store and ask her what she needs for the home, for herself or for her to give to people as gifts.
71. Ask her if she would like to invite her female friends over for ladies only get together and arrange for the dinner.
72. Ask her to send gifts to her parents and siblings.
73. Help her parents pay off debt. Send her poor relatives some money.
74. Write love notes or poems and place them in the book she’s been reading.
75. If she tells you something she had just learned from the Qur’an or Hadith, do not dismiss her or ridicule her effort, instead listen to her and take her word.
76. Plant her a kitchen garden with all kind of herbs she needs for cooking.
78. Update her PC or laptop with a new one or get her a new mobile phone.
79. Learn to do a special massage technique and surprise her with your new expertise.
80. Teach your children to respect and honor their mother.
81. Be humorous with her when she makes a mistake in the kitchen (like when she put too much salt or burnt her baking).


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44 Responses to "81 ways to win your Wife’s love"

Reblogged this on Islam_Muslim_Ummah and commented:
Love this list. Agree 100%

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May Allah bless all of the Muslims

Like

Very good write-up. I absolutely appreciate this website.
Keep it up!

Like

These all tips of pleasing wife depend on how she is and how much value does she give to these feelings. I loved my wife immensely and she got spoiled and later started misusing these and ultimately it resulted in divorce. The fact is that it takes 2 hands to clap. If only husband keeps caring for his wife then it will not ever work.

Like

Agreed…similar situation with me..I am almost close to divorce. Money, secure future is the most important thing…

Like

You are 100% right. The same happened with me…

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Its really works bhai…May Allah bless u…….

Like

Salam,

The first quote from the Quran above is not 20:30 but should be 30:21.
The next one listed 2:28 should be 2:228 and I think the one listed as 4:20 is actually the end of 4:19.

May Allah bless your efforts. Good job on the site. lots of good info.

Wa-Alaikum Salam,
Daniel

Like

81ways is good if thought as religious view and social views . infect world is not like that I have seen almost lady (women) appreciate money. Money is every things , can do Hajj, Umra, Qurbani, besides all things can do. so they see not hansom, pious, good mannered men. if who he can provide penny a lot his wife be remained quiet even her husband go to Masjid or not. May be her husband is drunkard, gambler it is no matter at all.
I am a Burmese Muslim, according to my knowledges, Muslim women are needy money rather than non Muslim. sometime we hear the voice from the neighbor , wife quarreling to her husband by comparing that see that man (some body) he own cars , lot of money , his wife wearing many gold, you are only name of man but you can not do it. you are useless , my life is Perish after married you. likewise, you can not able to give me a Superior living standards and let divorce me. At the mean time 81 ways be effected him except money( wealth)?

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everything is right brother but….your wife should understand you after all these 81 ways tips..and she should love you more than other womens if you doo this for her…..If she not response you or love with you after all these tips…I think we goona have broken hearts……Main think she should know what you do for her…thankx

Like

This is all bullshit except few.

Like

Hastly read this.

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aslamualikum to all,
r these valuable things applicable for spouse

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salute to you brother

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